Potions, Prongs, and Predestination
by justaskalice
Summary: The direction of a life can be changed by the simplest things.
1. Chapter 1

**JK Rowling rules this universe, I'm just playing in her sandbox. **

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><p>The crowd on Platform 9 ¾ seemed more animated than usual, but Lily Evans couldn't tell if that was because she had missed the hustle and bustle of her wizarding peers over the summer or simply because it was the last time she would experience a Hogwarts start of term. As smoke belched out of the train and swirled around her, she could hear the slightly disgruntled sounds of owls and cats mixing with the excited cries of their owners.<p>

"Lily!"

The familiar voice of Mary MacDonald reached her ears first, and she was grinning before she ever turned around.

"All right, Lily?" Her fellow seventh year smiled breathlessly, cheeks reddened from the uncharacteristically chill weather that had struck London that September 1st.

Lily nodded, sweeping her long red hair back from her face. As she did so, she unconsciously revealed the shiny Head Girl badge already pinned to her chest. Mary's eyes widened.

"So you got it, then? Why didn't you write! Did your letter say who got Head Boy?" Mary swatted Lily playfully on the arm before grabbing her around the waist and hauling her toward the train. Lily gave a hurried wave and blew a kiss back to her parents, who were taking in the spectacle of the platform, before allowing herself to be dragged off.

"The letter was pretty standard," Lily said, when Mary pushed her for more information. "Didn't say too much more than my prefect letter did. I just hope the Head Boy isn't Jeremy Wilkes, from Slytherin. Always hated doing rounds after dark with that bloke."

On the train, Mary and Lily met up with Marlene McKinnon, Emmeline Vance, and Alice Fetescue, the other Gryffindor seventh year girls. They all oohed and ahhed over Lily's Head Girl appointment ("I knew it!" Alice had said triumphantly), before Lily had to beg off to go meet the prefects and her fellow Head.

"Maybe it'll be Remus Lupin," Marlene called after her, eyes glinting mischievously. Marlene had a bit of a crush on Lupin, and while Lily had always liked the boy, she didn't particularly care for the company he kept.

"It would be nice to have two Gryffindors," Lily agreed, "But I can't imagine how out of line those mates of his would get if Head Boy was a Marauder."

Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and James Potter were rather infamous among their fellow students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and although Remus had been made prefect in their fifth year, the boys weren't exactly known for following the rules. In fact, they earned the nickname "Marauders" from the Hogwarts faculty in their second year, and had spent the rest of their time at school proudly living up to the moniker.

The door to the compartment swung shut, and Lily turned to make her way toward the front of the train.

"Oof!" She smashed into someone very solid and decidedly bigger than she was. Rubbing her head, she looked up into the grinning face of Sirius Black.

"Evans! A bit scandalous, throwing yourself at me like this on the train, don't you think? At least wait until we get to school—then we can find ourselves a quiet corner to have a bit of a snog. All the compartments are full up by this point."

"Sirius," she said sternly. "Shouldn't you be finding your seat?"

"I'm looking for it now, darling," he said cheekily, "only I got a bit lost. I don't suppose you'll be a good little prefect and help me find it? It is your duty to help your fellow students, isn't it?"

She pointed to her Head Girl badge. "Actually, I'm a bit higher on the food chain this year, Black."

He laughed delightedly and clapped his hands. "The wee Evans, taking charge of all us poor slobs! That's grand, really."

He glanced over his shoulder, and a strange expression flew across his face. Before Lily could place it, he grinned wolfishly.

"Are you sure you don't want to come with me to take care of that snog, Evans? I'd make it worth your while."

Stifling a smile, Lily shook her head. "Seems a bit cold, Black, elbowing in on Potter's turf like that."

Sirius snorted. "The day you say yes to Prongs is the day I'll eat my Uncle Alphie's hat. And I'm fairly certain he hasn't had it properly cleaned since he was my age."

James Potter was a Chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team and had been made Captain the year before. He was handsome, got good marks in all his lessons, and could make most of the girls in school, and some of the professors, melt with a well-placed smile and a wink. He had also been after Lily to go on a date with him since fifth year, and with each attempt he became wilder and more flamboyant about asking her.

On one memorable occasion, he had jinxed all of the Gryffindor first years into following her around the corridors, reciting limericks and declaring James' undying love. It had taken her most of the day to discover the counter-jinx, and by then the entire school had witnessed several embarrassing displays. She had taken twenty-five points from her own house after she tracked James down in the common room that night.

"I was just having a bit of fun, Evans," James had said innocently. "You need to learn to enjoy life a little. Besides, they're only first years."

"Only first years!" she had fumed. "Only! James Potter, you were a first year once yourself."

"I was never so titchy," he had protested. "These firsties are barely out of diapers!"

She had managed to restrain herself from unleashing a Bat Bogey curse on him, but it was a near thing.

Sirius looked over his shoulder one more time, and his fidgeting brought Lily back to the present. This time, she knew she wasn't imagining the look on his face. It was nervousness.

"Alas, fair Evans, if you're going to continue to be so hard to this poor, suffering bloke, then I must take my leave. Pip pip and all that."

Before she could question him further, he shot past her, snickering under his breath until he disappeared into a compartment where, no doubt, the rest of his cohorts waited for him.

With Sirius gone, Lily had no choice but to keep moving toward the front of the train, where she hoped the new Head Boy was waiting. She supposed Sirius would have mentioned something if Remus got the job, so that left Jeremy Wilkes, Howard Thistleswait, a burly Ravenclaw who was always nitpicking about something, or Terrance Humphrey, the Hufflepuff seventh year prefect who always looked as if he had lost his wand and wasn't quite sure where to look for it.

She was nearly to the front of the train when she heard the crash.

"_Furnunculus_!"

"Oh, no you don't! _Expelliarmus_!"

The voices were muted by a door, but the unmistakable sounds of a wizard's duel were coming from just ahead. Lily scanned the corridor for signs of a struggle, and her eyes fixed on the shadows moving rapidly just beyond the frosted glass door to her left. Another muffled crash confirmed her suspicions.

Steeling herself, she drew her wand and took a deep breath. It didn't occur to her to find an adult – after all, she was Head Girl, wasn't she? Surely it was more her job to break up a scuffle between a couple of students than it was anyone else's on the train, except maybe her as-yet-unnamed partner.

She flung open the door and aimed her wand quickly and carefully. "_Petrificus totalus_! _Stupefy_!"

A stinging hex whizzed past her ear and she scrambled furiously. "_Stupefy_!" she yelled again. This time, the hexes stopped.

Three boys lay slumped on the floor of the car. Two of them had rumpled black hair, and a third sported a nasty looking black eye. One of them wore a shiny, gold Head Boy badge.

Lily didn't know whom to go to first, although she wasn't too surprised to find James Potter and Severus Snape dueling before they ever reached the school. It was a little surprising that the other boy in the compartment was a Slytherin, and not another Marauder. James never went anywhere without the other seventh year Gryffindor boys. He must have been caught unawares. She wondered briefly why Sirius had been rushing in the other direction.

She had hit James and the other Slytherin, Gregory Mulciber, with stunning spells. Severus, on the other hand, was awake and stiff, eyes staring widely at the ceiling.

"Oh, Sev," she sighed, kneeling down beside him. She pointed her wand at his chest. "_Finite Incantatem._"

He took a deep breath and scrambled up to his feet, feeling around blindly for his wand.

She raised her hands in front of her, wand loosely pointed toward her former friend. "Shhhhh, Sev, it's me. Potter and Mulciber are still out."

"Li-lily? You…you…"

He backed away, his wand raised.

She sighed. "Don't worry. I won't touch you. Wouldn't want you to get _dirty_."

Regret flashed across his sallow features as she approached James. She extended her wand, pointing to the spot on his chest where the Head Boy badge gleamed. It was a mystery, for sure, but it explained Sirius's gleeful reaction to her appointment. What it didn't explain was why Black'd be running away from the fight, and not toward it.

"_Ennervate_," she muttered. Potter grunted.

"Bugger all," he sputtered, propping himself up. His eyelids fluttered a little before he focused on Lily's face. "Evans, my hero."

"Yeah, you're fine," she said, backing away.

Suddenly, James was throwing himself in front of her, pushing her back toward the corridor. "Snivellous, if you'll excuse us, Evans and I have work to do. Head business, very official."

"James, that's really not necessary," she protested, but even as she said it, Severus's face darkened and he raised his wand.

"Don't you touch her, Potter," he spat.

"Hello, I'm right here!"

"Get out of here, Evans," James said again. "This doesn't concern you."

"Do I have to hex the both of you again? Because I will! Marlene McKinnon taught me how to do a Bat Bogey curse that will have you drowning in your own snot for the first few months of term."

"Pleasure seeing you again, Snivellous," James said with a smile, giving Lily a final, backwards shove into the corridor.

They walked together in silence to the front car that was designated for the Heads and the prefects. When they entered the compartment, which was much more spacious than any of the others to compensate for the extra passengers, James threw himself onto a comfortable bench.

"Thanks for the heroics, Evans."

A hesitant smile lit up his face, and even though she was furious with him for instigating a fight on the very first day of term—and for getting her involved!—she couldn't help but notice how handsome he was, objectively speaking, of course. His wide hazel eyes peered up at her from behind crooked, round glasses. And on his chest, gleaming inconveniently, was a badge that read "Head Boy."

"Bugger all," she sighed.

"So," James Potter said uncertainly. His eyes bounced between her face and her Head Girl badge several times, as if he didn't quite believe what he was seeing. "I see congratulations are in order. Couldn't have happened to a nicer bird."

He shifted uneasily in his seat, watching her green eyes narrow. Talking with Lily Evans was always a little bit like facing down a dragon. They were beautiful creatures, but a fellow was liable to get burned if he got too close. Today was no exception.

"I want to make one thing perfectly clear before we get started, Potter," she said firmly. "I take this position seriously and I expect you to do the same. I had hoped that Dumbledore would give me a partner I could rely on, but as it is, it seems like I'm stuck with you. Try not to muck it up too badly. It would look awful if I had to dock points from my fellow Head. You're lucky that term hasn't started yet, or I'd feel duty bound to report your little duel with Snape."

James couldn't help but wince at the tone in her voice. He deserved it. She had often been the responsible senior prefect in Gryffindor tower, telling off trouble makers and putting a stop to the more egregious rule breaking that James and the other Marauders got up to, all without any support from Remus.

Lily was still staring at him coldly, so he nodded once, to show he understood, then gestured to one of the benches. "No promises, Evans, but I'll do my best not to bring the school burning down around your ears. Have a seat, love."

He had meant it to sound charming, but from her scowl, he guessed that Evans wasn't charmed.

Instead of acknowledging his promise, Lily simply pulled out a sheaf of parchment and got down to business, rattling on about preparing the prefects and getting ready for the start of term. He knew that he should be paying attention, but he simply couldn't focus on her words. Instead, he found himself staring at her mouth and thinking about the first time he had ever laid eyes on Lily Evans.

_They were sitting in a compartment on the Hogwarts Express, and she was huddled up next to Severus, who looked just as greasy and untrustworthy as a first year as he did all grown up. James remembered the exhilarating feeling of being out in the world, on his own for the first time. He was mostly focused on the landscape whizzing by outside the window, but he couldn't help but notice the red-headed girl huddled up to the window, wiping tears from her eyes._

_"You'd better be in Slytherin," the greasy boy next to her said. He said the words like it was some kind of great honor. James had been raised in a household that idolized the Gryffindor ideals of bravery and chivalry. His father, an Auror with the Ministry, instilled a great hatred of the dark arts in him, and by association, the house of Salazar Slytherin._

_"Slytherin?" James had said, his upper lip curling in disgust. He had looked at the boy sitting opposite him, the boy who would become his closest friend and brother, and laughed._

_"Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?"_

The words echoed in his head from across the years.

"Gryffindor will be down a prefect," Lily sighed, sweeping her papers into a pile. "I wish they would consider promoting new prefects to replace the Heads. It would make things so much easier in situations like this."

"Don't tell me you're throwing your hands up in despair, already, Evans?" James stood up, clasped his hands behind his back, and affected an upper-crust accent. "Never surrender, even in the face of extreme adversity!"

Lily coughed back a laugh as the first prefects began to trickle into the car. It was Howie Thistleswait and Dorcas Meadows from Ravenclaw. Dorcas gave a little squeal and hugged Lily immediately, congratulating her and asking about her summer. Howie and James had a significantly cooler greeting, probably because James had never been a prefect, but still managed to get appointed to the top spot.

The meeting went far smoother than Lily was expecting. James was helpful and instructive, bantering with the prefects and passing out information. It was over in a little less than an hour, and Lily sent out Docas and Justin Bones, the new Hufflepuff prefect, out to start patrolling the train.

"Can I trust you to behave yourself, Potter? Or are you going to run off and start more duels with unsuspecting Slytherins?"

Lily and James were alone in the compartment again, getting ready to join their friends.

"I'm surprised at you, Evans," James said indignantly. "I was attacked, and a Gryffindor can't just take something like that lying down. Excellent aim with those stunning spells, by the way."

"You're never serious, are you?" Lily shook her head and left the compartment, James trailing along behind him.

"No, you're thinking of another handsome Marauder."

"It all makes sense, now. You never have girlfriends because you're too in love with each other!"

"Scandalous, Evans, simply scandalous! I'm shocked you would suggest such a thing. Besides, you know I'd never stray from your side."

They reached the doors to the compartment Sirius had disappeared into earlier.

"Figuratively speaking, of course," James said with a little bow. "Unless you want to join us? Always room for a beautiful bird in our compartment."

"Lily!" Alice's voice echoed down the corridor.

"That's my cue," she said, laughing a little at the crestfallen look on James' face.

"Some other time," he said hopefully. She didn't answer, just turned and jogged toward the compartment where her friends were waiting.

It was going to be an interesting year.

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><p><strong>*looks around nervously* Hello... so this isn't really my normal fandom, but I've been feeling kind of artistically stuck. I figured, why not stretch a bit and play somewhere new? Since I've been lurking JamesLily fic for about a year now, I'm trying my hand at it myself. Hope you enjoy :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**JK Rowling rules this universe, I'm just playing in her sandbox. Many thanks to my beta, Katie 3**

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><p>James watched Lily hurry away toward her friends, sighing with relief. Normally, he wouldn't be happy to see her go, but he wasn't keen to have her overhear the conversation that was about to take place.<p>

Sirius and Peter were playing a game of Exploding Snap while Remus, recently returned from the prefect meeting himself, watched.

"There he is." Sirius looked up with a grin. He started humming "Hail, the Conquering Hero," and Peter quickly joined in, rapping his trunk to provide percussion accompaniment.

He stopped abruptly when several Exploding Snap cards blew up under his hands. Peter yelped and kicked out, knocking over the trunk and setting off several more minor explosions in the process.

Several minutes later, after Remus had healed Peter's hands and James and Sirius had packed away the cards, James found himself surrounded by his best friends, all eagerly leaning toward him, anticipation clear on their faces.

He turned to Sirius and slugged him in the stomach.

"What the hell, Prongs?" Sirius complained, punching him back in the arm.

"Are you actually asking that? What kind of a lookout job was that? You weren't gone five minutes before Evans charged in, brandishing her wand like a madwoman, shooting stunning spells left and right. She's lucky that she didn't get hit in the cross-fire."

"You weren't supposed to get caught," Remus said reprovingly. "The fact that Lily needed to shoot off stunning spells at all—"

"Don't turn this around on me, Moony," James interrupted. He glared at Sirius. "The reconnaissance mission got a little side-tracked, all right? Snape interrupted me."

"You got taken down by Snivellous? He didn't use an Unforgiveable Curse, did he?" Peter frowned nervously.

"Oi! I didn't get taken down by anyone!" James protested, then stopped and blushed a little. "Erm, I supposed Evans did stun me, but she wasn't supposed to be involved. Snape wasn't even supposed to be involved, but I could have handled him. He brought Mulciber, though, and then it was two on one. Besides, they caught me off-guard."

Remus sighed and slouched back. "That was careless, Prongs. You should have taken the cloak."

"I should have had proper warning from my lookout," James grumbled. "Now Evans is angry, and we didn't find out anything about what Snape's been up to."

"I don't know, Prongs, it really seemed like she was warming up to you in the meeting." Remus gave him an encouraging smile.

"If by 'warming up to me,' you mean she didn't curse me in front of all those stuffy prefects," James said gloomily.

"I resemble that remark!" Remus protested. "And anyway, if I'm stuffy, what does that make you, Mr. Head Boy?"

"Second best?" James flashed him a gloating grin, and Remus snorted.

"As fascinating as Jamesie's pursuit of the elusive Evans is," Sirius interrupted, "and as much as I would love to decide once and for all which of you is the biggest prat in the room" -this earned him another jab to the ribs from James- "what are we going to do about Snape?"

There was a silence in the compartment as each boy mulled the question over.

"We aren't … sure that he's a Death Eater, are we?" Peter asked hesitantly. "Not that he isn't a slimy git!" he added quickly.

"We've been over and over this, Wormtail," James said heatedly. "We know he's obsessed with the dark arts, always has been. And I know what I saw in my dad's study last week. He's on a Ministry watch list! Him and his Slytherin pals! What more proof do you need?"

"The Ministry has been known to make a few blunders in its day," mused Remus.

"Are you calling my dad a liar?"

"Nobody's saying that." Remus put his hands up in a calming gesture. "But maybe we need a little more intel before we try to go snooping through his trunk again."

"We won't have another opportunity like this one," James said stubbornly. "Once we get off the train, he'll disappear down to that dungeon the Slytherins call a common room and he'll be safe to carry on whatever dangerous or illegal schemes he wants!"

"Well, we've scuppered our chances for the time being." Remus glanced at Sirius but directed his words at James. "He'll be on high alert now."

"We could go back with the cloak," James said hopefully, but Remus was already shaking his head.

"No, we can't. He's probably completely surrounded. It'd be moronic to go back there."

"Sirius resembles that remark," Peter snickered. Sirius aimed his wand at Peter, whose hair and eyebrows suddenly turned a very bright pink.

:o:o:o:o:o:

Down the corridor, Lily's friends were pressing her for more details about James and the fight with Snape and Mulciber.

"Oh, Lily, how scary!" Mary covered her eyes and leaned into Emmeline's shoulder.

"I don't like it," Marlene mused. "It's fishy, even for that lot."

"What do you mean? Potter and Snape have been at each other's throats for years." Alice's eyes darted over to Lily. "They've never seen eye to eye."

"I wouldn't go that far," Emmeline said with a grin. "We know one thing they agree on."

Lily looked up from her pumpkin pasty to find all of her friends staring at her, varying shades of glee on their faces. She rolled her eyes.

"Not that again."

"Come on, Lily," Alice chuckled, "We never really understood your fascination with Snape, but his fascination with you was crystal clear."

"Sev and I were friends, that's all. And even if you're right and he did fancy me…well, he made it clear how he feels about me."

"_I don't need help from a filthy little Mudblood like her."_

Despite the fact that Lily had done her best to forget about that day, and every subsequent entreaty from Severus, the hurt still felt fresh. Her eyes burned and she blinked rapidly.

"Maybe I would have agreed with you then, but…"

"Lily, he still looks at you like you're a prize piece of beef, " Emmeline teased. At Lily's dark glare, she backpedaled. "Of course, James has been looking at you like that for ages, so its no wonder the two of them hate each other."

"James and Sev are two completely different people," Lily snapped. "James is a prat, but he's good and decent. Sev hangs about with evil people, and as far as I know, he's turned into an evil person himself."

There was a deafening silence, and then Mary cleared her throat. "The one time you compliment Potter and he's not even here to witness it!"

:o:o:o:o:o:

That night, warm in her bed, Lily lay listening to the sleepy sounds of her roommates. She was never more comfortable than in her four-poster at Hogwarts, a fact that made her even more uneasy about her impending entrance into the adult wizarding world. She didn't like to think about the future, preferring instead to live in a world of lists, homework, and Head Girl duties. At Hogwarts, she could take a little bit of control.

There was nothing about her life in the muggle world that she was in control of. Her parents were lovely, but they didn't understand that Lily was practically a grown-up herself. Every summer she reverted to the little girl she had been her first year at Hogwarts, asking permission for everything, never going out alone. They seemed to unconsciously think that because Lily wasn't with them, she hadn't changed.

Her older sister, Petunia, had changed, though. Gone were the days when Pet waited for her at the station with their parents, uncomfortably shifting from foot to foot as she waited among the wizarding families and scattered muggle parents waiting for the students to disembark. These days, she was more likely to appear only late the night of Lily's return, or even the next day, fresh from a raucous night with her University girlfriends.

Lily sighed when she thought of how far her relationship with her sister had fallen. Once, they had been as close as two sisters could be. As the years went on, though, her patience for Lily's newfound worldview wore thin. She didn't want to hear about Hogwarts, and when Lily brought up the events that were shaking the wizarding world—the murders, the vandalism, and Lord Voldemort—she sneered and jeered until someone changed the subject.

"That rubbish doesn't have anything to do with _normal_ people," she'd say. "Pass the chips, Dad."

Eventually, the rift between them grew into a giant canyon, and after several earsplitting rows that rattled the windows of the Evans' house, Petunia had declared that Lily was too much of a freak to be her real sister. And when Pet got engaged that last summer to a big, burly man named Vernon, whose mustache was so impressive that that Lily wasn't altogether sure was real, there was no talk of bridesmaids dresses or shopping together. In fact, Petunia had made it clear that Lily wasn't welcome.

"As if I would put a freak like that in my wedding," she had hissed to their mother. It had been late, and she and Petunia were sitting up, sipping tea and brandy and planning for the wedding. Mrs. Evans had hesitantly suggested that she ask her sister to be Maid of Honor, or at the very least give her a part in the ceremony.

"After all, you're family, Pet, darling," she had prompted.

"Family," Petunia scoffed.

Lily, standing hidden on the stairs, felt her eyes fill up with tears.

"We may be related by blood, but that thing upstairs is no family of mine."

Mrs. Evans had gasped in horror, and the two had gotten into a huge argument. Afterward, Petunia retreated from her position to appease her mother, and in the morning asked Lily to present one of the readings at the ceremony.

It was too late, though. The damage was done. Lily had stiffly accepted, mindful of her mother's hopeful gaze, but she avoided Petunia for the rest of the summer. And when she got on board the Hogwarts Express that morning, it had been with the satisfaction of knowing that she wouldn't have to see her sister for months.

The girls who slept peacefully in her dormitory were more her sisters than Petunia could hope to be, she reflected sleepily. She had found her place in the world at Hogwarts, and her true family. When they went out into the world, they'd go together. She wouldn't be alone. With that comforting thought, she drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, the chaos of the first day set in, with uniforms flying everywhere and spellbooks being unearthed from their hiding places in trunks.

"Lily, have you seen my tie?"

"You're wearing my skirt, Alice! Look how long it is on you!"

"What was it doing on my pile? And where's my skirt, then?"

Together, with the exception of Marlene, who was notorious for being late, the seventh year girls tromped down to the Great Hall, chattering excitedly about their schedules, which they would get from Professor McGonagall that morning. The Gryffindor table was nearly full, but they managed to find a place to squeeze in together near a group of fifth year boys.

"Budge up, you lot." Lily was jostled to one side as someone squeezed in next to her, nearly sending one of the fifth years off the other end of the bench.

"Evans," James Potter said warmly, "Just the girl I was hoping to see."

"Funny." Lily took a bite of her porridge and raised an eyebrow.

James raised his own eyebrows and gestured with his hand, as if to say go on.

"I could have happily gone the entire day without seeing you at all."

He brought his hand to his heart with an expression of agony. "Evans, you're a cruel mistress. What kind of way is that to speak to your fellow Head?"

Before she could answer, Professor McGonagall arrived.

"Let's see," she said briskly. "Potter, Potter... ah, here we are. Happy to see you back in Transfiguration this year, Mr. Potter. And it is nice to see you aren't slacking on your other studies. Still interested in a career with the Ministry?"

Lily gaped. This was the first she had heard of Potter having any kind of serious ambitions after school. Though he was undeniably bright, and often in the running for top marks in their classes, she never thought of him as having ambitions at all. It was stupid, but when she thought about the Marauders living outside of the castle, she pictured them sharing some bachelor's flat in London, drinking copious amounts of firewhiskey and living off of James' trust fund.

"If I'm to be accepted into Auror training, I'll need the full complement of courses," he said easily. "Longbottom and I have been talking about preparing our applications together."

McGonagall beamed. "Excellent. Please let me know if I can provide any recommendation, Potter. Despite your...extracurricular activities...you're a fine student, and I wouldn't hesitate to put in good word."

"Thank you, Professor."

McGonagall turned to Lily. "Another excellent student taking on a full load. My door is always open, Miss Evans, should you want to discuss future aspirations."

Lily flushed under her calculating stare, very conscious that James was listening. It grated her that he should have such clear and impressive post-Hogwarts plans, while she had been completely at sea during her required career counseling session the year before. Although Professor McGonagall had been very kind and given her many different pamphlets to consider, she hadn't given it much thought since.

Potter was already thinking about applications.

She was quiet after Professor McGonagall left. James cleared his throat.

"So, Transfiguration first thing, eh?"

Lily jumped, startled from her thoughts by his voice. He didn't quite succeed in hiding his smile. She consulted her schedule.

"Looks like it. Think they'll have the consolidated NEWT classes again this year?"

He shrugged. "No reason not to. There were what, twelve of us in Transfiguration last year? Not enough interest to extend those upper level courses to individual houses anymore."

She took another bite of porridge. "I guess, but it still surprises me that there isn't more interest in the basic courses like Transfiguration and Potions."

"Not everyone needs to know about things like human transfiguration and advanced switching spells, and its difficult enough that I can understand why some people would decide to drop it once they took their OWLs. And as for Potions, well, only someone truly sick would take a course like that unless they had to."

"Potions is a beautiful subject," she argued, finishing up her pumpkin juice and tossing her schedule in her book bag. "Subtle and logical, cause and effect."

Lily believed the things she was saying, but she was actually echoing an argument that Severus had made many times before. "No other subject requires the kind of analytical reasoning that Potions does."

They gathered their things up and continued their conversation as they walked to Professor McGonagall's classroom. Lily didn't even realize she had left her girlfriends behind until they reached the door.

Hurriedly, she took a seat in the first row to the left, laying out her bag and books to save spots for Alice and Emmeline, who were both taking the course.

"Where are you going, Red?" James followed her to the front of the room, tsking at her choice of seats. "Don't you know that it's easier to get into trouble from the back of the room?"

"You're welcome to go sit in the back. In fact, I wish you would." The easy conversation had unsettled her a little, and she was anxious for things to return to normal. And normal meant not talking to Potter was if they had been friends for years, instead of barely courteous housemates.

Potter sighed and took the seat immediately behind her. "Don't be like that, Evans."

She ignored him, turning to face the front. She made a show of opening up her textbook as Alice and Emmeline entered and took their seats on either side of her.

"This isn't over, Evans," he said, just loud enough for the girls in front of him to hear.

"What's he talking about?" Alice whispered, peeking over her shoulder to where James now sat with Remus and Sirius. It was obvious that Potter was glum about something, and a whispered argument had broken out between the three boys.

Sirius noticed Alice looking. "Take a picture, love, it'll last longer. I'll even autograph it for you."

She huffed and turned around to face front again.

"I couldn't believe when you just went off with him like that!" Emmeline said. "What were you two talking about?"

"Schoolwork," Lily answered briskly.

"We haven't got any yet," Alice pointed out.

"Head business, then," Lily snapped, exasperated. "Why does it matter?"

"You've just never been that friendly with James," Emmeline soothed. "Of course, it makes sense that you'll want to be on good terms this year, seeing as you'll be working so closely together."

"The Marauders were awfully pleased about it, too," Alice said with a giggle. "You should have seen them high-fiving each other when Potter got you alone."

Emmeline gave her a warning look, but it was too late. Lily erupted.

"He didn't get me alone. We had one conversation—ONE! It isn't like we're getting married, for Godric's sake!"

Too late, she realized that the class had gone quiet, and Professor McGonnagalagall was standing at her podium, ready to begin. Lily blushed right to the roots of her auburn hair. She could hear the muffled laughter of her classmates, including the three boys who sat directly behind her. Someone, probably Sirius, started humming the wedding march.

"That's quite enough, class," Professor McGonagall said. "Books out, please. And Miss Evans, I trust that will be the last such outburst we'll hear from you. If not, I will have to take points."

Lily sank into her chair, mortified. Class began, and Emmeline doodled on the edge of her parchment.

_At least it can't get any worse._

Lily scribbled back, _When it comes to Potter, it can always get worse._

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><p><strong>A million thanks to those of you who took the time to check out chapter one and leave a review :) Thanks for giving this a shot. I'm having fun with it so far, and hope you are, too!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**JK Rowling rules this universe. I'm just playing in her sandbox. Thanks to my beta, Katie!**

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><p>"You're not concentrating, Evans."<p>

"Stop saying that! How do you know if I'm concentrating or not?"

Lily and James had been partnered up in Transfiguration, much to Lily's chagrin and James' delight.

"For your information," James said airily, "you, Lily Evans, have a tell."

She scowled and swished her wand at the kitten they were supposed to be transfiguring into a marble statuette. The kitten blinked innocently back at her, completely unchanged. James huffed impatiently.

"What are you trying to do, kill the damn thing?" He nudged her aside.

"Think of it like you think of charm-work, okay? It's in the wrist." Delicately, he brought his wand up, flicking it downward in a complicated pattern.

The kitten froze, fur solidified into glossy black marble.

"Like so."

"Very good, Potter," McGonagall said. "Ten points to Gryffindor."

"Show-off," Lily muttered.

Class ended shortly after, but James wasn't ready to let her go just yet.

"Don't you want to know what your tell is?"

She sighed deeply, dropping Advanced Transfiguration into her book bag and looking around for Alice and Emmeline, who appeared to have darted out the door the second the bell rang. _Traitors_.

"Enlighten me, Potter."

James smiled, pleased with himself.

"When you are really, truly focused," he said softly, staring at her in a way that made her skin break out into goose bumps. He paused, still staring.

"Yes?" she prompted, forgetting for the second time that day that she was supposed to be concentrating on disliking him.

"You go a little cross-eyed," he said simply, turning briskly on his heel and walking away. The words took a moment to process, but once they did, she was furious. Of course, James had already made it halfway down the corridor.

"Oi! Potter!" She took off after him at a jog, dodging third years just getting out of History of Magic.

He stopped in his tracks, smiling.

"Come around already, Evans?" he started to say, but before he could finish the sentence he was hit with a Jelly-Legs jinx. His knees started to wobble uncontrollably.

"I wonder if my eyes went cross-eyed just then," Lily mused, hurrying past. "I suppose we'll never know."

James collapsed on the floor, knees giving out from under him. He cursed, struggling to remember the counter-jinx.

"Oh, and Potter?" Lily said sweetly. "Clear your schedule for tomorrow evening after supper. We need to talk scheduling and Heads' duties, and the monthly Prefects' meeting is Saturday morning."

She sashayed away, looking very pleased with herself.

"Need a little help, mate?" Remus came up behind him, chuckling at the sight. James' legs were still quivering, tangled up underneath him.

"What's the counter-jinx?" James asked, a little exasperated but also clearly amused.

"You know, I'm starting to think that you're just rubbish at dueling." Remus performed the spell and helped James to his feet.

"That hurts, Moony."

"Sometimes the truth does, I'm told."

His knees buckled, and Remus caught him. "You should have seen her. She's even prettier when she's angry." He steadied himself and let go of Remus' shoulder slowly.

Remus sighed. "You're hopeless, Prongs."

James shrugged, and the two started toward Gryffindor tower. They both had a break until after lunch, when they would go to the dungeons for double Potions. "We're supposed to meet to talk about our duties tomorrow night. I'm thinking it's my chance."

Remus stopped walking abruptly. James continued on a few steps before realizing that he had left his friend behind.

"What's up, Moony?"

Remus shook his head slowly. "James, I'm going to tell you something, and I want you to listen carefully."

"This sounds serious."

"Lily's smart, driven, brave, and good looking. You're not the first bloke to try to get her attention, and you won't be the last."

"And…?" James looked lost, then his eyes flashed. "You better not be telling me that you're interested in Evans, because Remus, I love you like a brother, but—"

"Nothing like that!" Remus was horrified. "I just…I see you trying so hard with her, and I just don't know that you've thought through your approach."

"What's to think through? I know we haven't gotten along well in the past, but we're working together this year, and she'll come around."

Remus sighed. "James, James, James." He clapped a hand on the other boy's shoulder and led him toward their common room. "You have a lot to learn about women."

:o:o:o:o:o:

Lily's day kept getting worse. Thinking to get a jump on her meeting with James, she went in search of the Heads' office, only to find that the previous years Head Boy and Head Girl had left it a disaster area.

Gideon Prewett was not known for his tidiness and organization, but Lily was a little shocked Dorotea Brooks had put up with that in their office. After a bit of nosing around, she realized that it was unlikely that Tee had ever done any work there. It was practically a second dormitory, with bits of parchment, scribbled class notes, and half filled out patrol schedules filling every nook and cranny. There was even a pillow and a blanket stashed under the desk. _This explains why Tee spent so much time in the Library_, thought Lily grimly, before rolling up her sleeves and diving headfirst into the mess.

She spent her entire morning break cleaning out the office and organizing it, looking in vain for anything that would help her figure out the best way to do her job. She could have used magic, but there was something incredibly cathartic about getting her hands dirty and doing things the Muggle way.

She barely had time to grab a quick bite at lunch before it was time for double Potions.

All the seventh year Gryffindors were in Advanced Potions, despite the fact that Peter and Emmeline had barely scraped together an OWL apiece in the subject. In fact, it was the only subject required for Auror training that Emmeline struggled with, a fact that greatly annoyed her should anyone bring it up.

The Gryffindors sat in a group toward the back of the dungeon, and when Lily walked in, Emmeline, Frank, and James were deep in conversation.

"Is it true there's a practical exam to go along with your application?" Emmeline was saying.

"Dad says its really informal, more of an interview with a few demonstrations thrown in than anything," James replied. "And you'd have to do an interview for any job."

"It's more than just a job though, innit?" Frank said longingly. "All I've ever wanted to be is an Auror."

Lily dropped her bag with a loud thud on the table next to Alice, who was watching Frank with undisguised interest. Alice jumped.

"Want to be partners, Alice?" Lily cast a sidelong glance at James, who was still engrossed in conversation. "I don't want to take my chances."

Before Alice could answer, Professor Slughorn strolled in, arms full of battered spellbooks.

"Settle down, settle down." Slughorn's jovial voice swept over the murmuring students, but no one paid much attention.

"That's quite enough," he tried again. A few scattered students stopped talking, but James and Frank were too wrapped up in their conversation to notice.

"Today, we will be discussing advanced antidotes as part of our—oh for heaven's sake!"

Slughorn, exasperated, pulled his wand from his voluminous robes. "_Silencio_."

The dungeon fell silent. James' mouth kept moving for several more seconds before he realized that no sound was coming out.

"I expect more from the Head Boy, Mr. Potter," Slughorn said reprovingly. He smoothed his mustache carefully. "As I was saying...as part of our exploration of the most intricate depths of potion-making, we will be starting our year off with a deep discussion of antidotes. You will recall your basic antidotes principles from fourth year..."

The first half of the lesson seemed to drag on, and by the time an hour had passed Lily's parchment was covered with a series of complicated equations and diagrams that looked more like notes for Arithmancy than Potions.

"We'll only begin putting what we've learned about Llewellyn's Fourth Principle of Transubstantiation to work today, but as this project will extend for several weeks, I'll be pairing you up according to skill level."

Lily scooted a little closer to Alice, who she knew was fairly accomplished when it came to potion-brewing. Surely, Professor Slughorn wouldn't have a problem with their partnering up.

"Let's see," he mused, as he stared around the room. "Mr. Potter and Mr. Black, don't make me regret this."

The boys grinned at each other and high-fived under their table.

"Mr. Longbottom, why don't you pair with Miss Fetescue?"

Alice's face turned the color of a ripe gurdyroot, and she gave Lily an apologetic smile.

"Miss Vance and Mr. Pettigrew, you'll work together. Mr. Lupin and Miss Meadows. Miss McKinnon and Miss MacDonald."

As Professor Slughorn paired off the students, Lily's stomach sank further and further. This project would last weeks, and all the Gryffindors were already taken. Professor Slughorn continued to list off pairs, moving onto the seventh year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs.

"Miss Evans...let's see."

There were only four students left now: Lily, Mycroft Nott, Tom Avery, and...

"Miss Evans and Mr. Snape, there's a winning combination."

Slughorn grinned as if he had just given Lily a bag of her favorite sweets. Potter suddenly looked murderous. Snape's expression could only be described as calculating.

"So that leaves Mr. Nott and Mr. Avery. Excellent, excellent. Please find a seat next to your partner so I can pass out the poisons you'll be working with over the next several weeks."

:o:o:o:o:o:

Lily got through the rest of Potions by not initiating any conversation that didn't directly have to do with the antidote they were trying to brew. Because they had been given an unknown poison to work with, they had to start by identifying the various ingredients at play.

Working with Severus was easier than she thought it would be. He seemed just as determined to avoid any uncomfortable conversation, although Lily caught him staring at her once or twice, apparently deep in thought. She wondered if he ever regretted that day two years ago when their friendship had ended.

To her great relief, James appeared to be avoiding her after Potions as well, so she was free to spend the rest of that day and all of the next getting acclimated to being back at school and socializing with her friends. She was in a very good mood indeed when she arrived at the Heads' office the night of her meeting with James. To her great surprise, he was already there waiting.

"Evans," he said coolly. "Have a seat."

He nodded at the squashy armchair across from him and on the other side of the desk. Lily grimaced, thinking that the arrangement would feel more like she was a student and Potter the teacher. She flicked her wand and moved the chair to the side of the desk where Potter sat.

"Obstinate," he muttered.

"Pushy," she shot back.

Instead of responding, he pulled out a couple of butterbeers from somewhere under the desk. She looked at him suspiciously.

"It isn't poison," he sighed, exasperated. "Just take it. It's a peace offering, okay? I think we got the year started on the wrong foot, and I want you to know that this job is just as important to me as it is to you."

She cracked open the bottle and took a cautious sip. "Where did you get this?"

He smiled mysteriously and shook his head. "Ah, ah, Evans, let's not go asking each other questions that cannot be answered. Just take the peace offering and let's get down to business, shall we?"

"All right," she said slowly, taking another swallow of butterbeer before rifling through her book bag. "I got started on the Prefect schedule, but..."

"So did I," James said quickly. "Actually, Gideon gave me some great pointers on the best way to tackle scheduling."

He pulled out a rolled up bit of parchment covered with boyish scrawls and tossed it to Lily. "His penmanship is atrocious, but there you are. What did Dorotea say in your letter?"

"I didn't get one." Lily frowned. "Where did you find yours?"

"Secret panel in the desk." James pounded his fist down on the top of the desk once, and a drawer that Lily had never seen popped open.

"How on earth did you find that? I was in here all morning the other day and didn't see it!"

James shrugged and smiled, reaching a hand up to tousle his hair. "I have a talent for seeing things that other people overlook."

They stared at each other for the space of several long seconds before Lily hastily grabbed Gideon's letter. "Okay, well, until I figure out if Tee left me any advice, I'm going to take a gander at this."

_Future Head Boy,_

_It's become a bit of a tradition for the outgoing Heads to leave words of wisdom for the next year's poor, unfortunate victims. You may be wondering why this letter was hidden—well, that's part of the tradition, too. With any luck, you'll discover this letter early in the year, but mine didn't surface until after Halloween! I'm not sure where my lovely counterpart is hiding hers, but the new Head Girl should probably spend some time investigating the Library...and maybe that unused Charms classroom on the fifth floor. _

_And speaking of your better half...It can be tempting to try to do this job on your own, but trust me when I say that there are two Heads for a reason. If you don't know the Head Girl already, get to know her. The sooner the better. Tee and I weren't very close when we started this gig, but I know the girl better than my own sister now. It's the nature of the beast that you'll spend most of your free time either directly coordinating with each other or passing the torch so that your partner can go off and get some schoolwork done. Best explain that to your mates and your girlfriend now, or it's going to lead to some rather irritating rows as the year goes on. _

Lily smirked at the thought of Head duties ever taking precedence over time with the Marauders.

Gideon continued with a brief description of their scheduling methods, along with a few sample schedules for illustration. There were some notes and observations about the Prefects from the year before—strengths and weaknesses, that kind of thing—that Lily found particularly interesting.

_Lily Evans is a hard worker but can be a bit prickly. She's a first rate disciplinarian and a good mate to have on your side. She does have a rather long memory for being wronged, though, so it's best to keep on her good side._

She shook her head and looked up to find James staring at her, a bit of a smile on his face.

"Did you get to the part where he calls you prickly?" He grinned. "That was my favorite part. Old Gideon had no idea what he was talking about. I find you sweet and docile as a lamb."

Lily sent a quill whizzing toward his head, which he only just deflected in time.

"See, that's just what I mean," he laughed. "Positively gentle."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading, and for your reviews! It's always nice to get feedback. (hint hint?) Seriously though, I'm just glad some of you are reading. I'd write it anyway, but it is nice to know that there's a small audience out there for it :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: JK Rowling rules this universe. I'm just playing in her sandbox.**

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><p>The most difficult thing about working with Severus Snape, Lily concluded after two weeks of antidotes work, was that no matter what she did, she was sure to be under scrutiny from someone.<p>

After the first awkward class, she had resolved to be pleasant to him. They didn't have to be chummy, but surely it was all right for them to share some simple conversation.

At first, he was suspicious.

"Afternoon, Sev," Lily had said during the second Potions lesson of the year. She set her bag down carefully and gave him a smile. "How are things?"

His black eyebrows had shot up past the ends of his long black fringe, and he had simply shrugged. Later, she tried again.

"How are you getting on this year? Reckon you know what you're going to do after graduation?"

As soon as the words came out of her mouth, she flinched a little, remembering earlier accusations she had made about Death Eaters and Lord Voldemort. But Snape didn't react.

"I imagine I'll find a place to live and start looking for a job," had been his rather bland answer. But in his eyes Lily thought she saw a spark of the old Sev, a curiosity at her interest that he just couldn't hide.

After class, James had cornered her on her way to North Tower for Astronomy.

"What do you think you're doing, chatting up Snape like that? Don't you know he's dangerous?"

She shoved him out of the way with her shoulder and kept walking. "I'm not interested in having this conversation with you, Potter. Last I checked, we were partners and fellow Heads. That's all. No where in our relationship is there anything that says you have the right to control the people I talk to."

"I just don't want to see you getting hurt, Evans," James had said, changing his tack. "I saw what happened after he called you a … you-know-what, and I don't want to see you hurt like that again. Besides, he's into dark magic." The last part he added quietly, almost as if he couldn't help but say it.

"Your concerns are unnecessary." She nearly smiled at his obvious worry, but stopped herself at the last second, knowing it would only encourage him. "I'm a big girl, and even if you're right, not that I'm saying you are, but even if Sev- if _Snape_ was into that stuff...he wouldn't try anything at school."

The next week in class, Snape was sincere and contrite.

"You don't have to pretend to be friends, Lily," he said quietly. "I know I ruined that a long time ago."

He stared at his mortar and pestle as he slowly ground some cockroaches into dust, and his voice was solemn and melancholy. It reminded Lily of secret trysts in the run-down park near Spinner's End where the two had met as children.

"Oh, Sev," she had sighed, patting his hand lightly. He colored, and the rest of the lesson was practically...nice. They didn't touch personal issues, but they were able to let go of some of the tension that always seemed to surround them, instead focusing on the natural academic chemistry they had.

It didn't go unnoticed. Across the dungeon, James squeezed his wand so tightly that purple sparks flew out and singed Sirius's robes. A few tables away, Nott and Avery watched Lily and Snape chatting and working amicably with growing fury.

After dinner that night, they had cornered her and shoved her into the antechamber just off the Great Hall where first years waited before the Sorting Ceremony. It was almost always empty, and they had been careful not to draw attention to themselves.

"Get your hands off me," she fumed, adjusting her robes and groping for her wand.

"Easy, Evans," Nott said coolly. "We just want to chat."

"Well, there are better ways to ask for a chat than grabbing me by the back of my robes and shoving me into an empty room," she snapped.

"This is a delicate matter," Avery said. "Privacy was called for."

Lily waited in stony-faced silence.

"What exactly is your interest in our dear friend Severus?"

She snorted. "This is about Snape? We're partners in Potions. Slughorn paired us up. You were both there."

"It would be prudent if you kept your distance." Nott glared at her.

"That's going to be kind of hard to do, as we're _partners_ on an _assigned project_." Lily was getting seriously irritated. "Just what do you expect me to do? Ignore him? Fail Potions?"

"I expect you to keep your Mudblood hands to yourself!" Nott roared.

The door to the antechamber swung open, and Sirius sauntered in, wand hanging loosely at his side.

"All right, Evans?" He gave the two Slytherins a cold stare. "I noticed you going off with these two...erm, fine gentlemen, and as our dear Head Boy is otherwise occupied at the moment..."

"I can handle it, Black."

"No doubt, no doubt." Sirius just smiled in a charming sort of way, folded his arms over his chest, and waited.

Nott and Avery caved first. "Remember what we've talked about," Nott warned as they turned to go.

Almost as soon as they disappeared, black robes flapping around the corner, the smile left Sirius' face.

"I knew you had a soft spot for snakes, Evans, but really, what were you thinking?"

James hadn't lectured her that time, although there was no doubt that he had been informed of the run-in. No matter where she was after that, it seemed as if one of the Marauders was dogging her footsteps, just in case. Given his tendency to overreact wherever she was involved, Lily knew that James had put them up to it.

It was a lot of fuss over nothing, Lily thought sourly, leaning back in her armchair. Some thoughtful house elf had lit a fire in the grate of the Heads' office, and even though the heat made the room a trifle stifling, it was also the perfect antidote to the fall breeze that had nipped at her ears the entire walk back from Greenhouse 5 that afternoon.

"It's a sauna in here." James' voice broke into her silent grumblings. He slammed the door behind him and started stripping down, discarding his robe, scarf, sweater and tie on the floor in front of the fireplace. His glasses were fogged up like he had just come in from the cold.

"I think it's nice," Lily said, turning her head as he reached up to adjust his t-shirt, which had ridden up to his armpits. She caught glimpses of a couple of long, white scars, faded with age, running up and down the length of his lean torso.

"You know what else is nice? When you don't treat our shared office space like your private locker room. Maybe you can leave your things strewn all over the floor in your bedroom, Potter, but please have the common courtesy to pick up after yourself here."

"How do you know what my bedroom looks like, Evans? Have you been spying?"

Lily shook her head and laughed. "Are you kidding? You boys have probably completely booby-trapped the entryway. I bet you know the second anyone penetrates your lair."

"Sniffed out our booby traps, too! You _have_ been spying."

"I've got better things to do than sniff around your smelly dormitory, Potter." She sighed gustily. "Like this essay for McGonagall."

James flopped onto the other armchair and threw his head back, eyes closed and a lazy smile on his face. "You haven't finished that yet? I did it ages ago."

"She only assigned it last week," Lily said defensively. "Did you just come in here to bother me or did you have a different reason for barging in here uninvited?"

He peeked at her through one half-open eye. "Touchy. We had a meeting scheduled. Or did you forget?"

She swore as the point of her quill snapped, blotting ink everywhere.

"Easy, Lily," he said, sitting up and brushing his mop of hair back from his face with one hand. "We can do it later."

"It's not that." She siphoned the blotted ink off her parchment with a sour look on her face, as though the ink had committed a grave sin against her.

"I didn't even start my half of the work I was intending to have finished before we got together."

He tried to interrupt her, but she plowed ahead.

"And I'm underwater in half my classes, even though term only just began. Whenever Snape and I try to get together to work on our Potions project, there are so many Slytherins hanging about that I feel like I'm constantly in danger of being cursed. I don't understand this human transfiguration assignment, so McGonagall will probably give me that _I'm so disappointed in you, Miss Evans_ face after she gives me a D for Dreadful. Meanwhile Flitwick has given me extra responsibilities because I'm such an _excellent_ student, but that means less time for DADA and Herbology, not to mention Arithmancy. Merlin's pants, why did I take Arithmancy again this year? How are you so calm? Isn't this the least bit overwhelming to you?"

She collapsed on top of her arms, breathing heavily. It was the most she had said to him that wasn't directly related to schoolwork or Head duties since they had boarded the Hogwarts Express. A year ago, he might have used the opening as a way to ask her out. In that moment, though, all he was thinking about was how tired and frustrated she looked. Her shoulders were hunched up, and her neck and ears were red and splotchy, the way they got when she was angry or crying.

He approached her cautiously, creeping toward the desk on pins and needles. She didn't move. He reached out a tentative hand and patted her shoulder. She shuddered and began to shake, silent tears dropping onto the desk.

"That's why you've got mates, right?" he said gently. "Sure, this year won't be a walk in the park, but you're Lily Evans, for Godric's sake! It isn't anything you can't handle."

She shook her head wordlessly and let out a little whimper.

"Let me take care of the Prefects and their griping this week, yeah? Quidditch is going to get started soon, and I'm sure I can find a week when you can pay me back."

She lifted her head a little and set her cheek down on her arm. Her eyes were red and glassy, but she smiled weakly. "Are you sure, James? I shouldn't let you."

"Let me?" He laughed. "You couldn't stop me if you tried. Now how about letting me take a look at that essay?"

He pulled a bright red handkerchief from his pocket and held it out. "In the meantime, mop that pretty face up."

She wrinkled her nose. "I don't want your dirty hanky, Potter."

"Oh, it's Potter again, is it?" He waved the handkerchief under her nose again. "Go on, it's clean."

She pointed her wand at the proffered hanky. "_Scourgify_."

He rolled his eyes. "Now it's extra clean. Take it already, your nose is dripping."

After sternly ordering Lily to make use of his handkerchief, James disappeared for a short time and reappeared with a tray full of treats. An hour later, they sat with mugs of hot chocolate in front of the fire, warm and cozy, tears forgotten for a time.

"There, you see, this isn't such a mystery to you," James said triumphantly. "You've come to exactly the right conclusion about the proper application of nonverbal spells to Hobenpheifer's Six Laws of Human Transformation."

"I wish I could repay the compliment, but this Charms essay is a hopeless mess," Lily laughed, looking up from the work she was proofing for him. "Didn't you look at the text at all?"

He shrugged and grinned. "Moony usually checks my Charms work; he knows I'm hopeless."

She shook her head at him, admiring the way the flickering firelight seemed to make him warmer and more...friendly than before.

No, she corrected herself. He seems friendlier because he's making an effort. He meant it when he said that he was going to work hard this year. And maybe it's time for me to step up and reciprocate.

"I'll tell you what," she said. "You help me with Transfiguration and I'll do my best to keep you from failing Charms."

James choked on his hot chocolate and sprayed a little on the rug in front of him. Lily pretended not to notice.

"Maybe we could put together a study group with the seventh year prefects." She aimed her wand at James' essay and corrected a few spelling errors. "You know, we're all juggling an awful lot right now, and the NEWTs are going to be here before we know it."

"I mean, we don't really anyone else dragging the study group down, do we?" he said quickly. "Large groups are always so chatty."

"And you would know that how, exactly?" Lily giggled. "All those study groups you've participated in over the years really made you an expert, is that it?"

"I guess a small group," he conceded grudgingly. "And maybe the two of us can do some extra work together when needed?"

"We'll see," Lily said. James was much encouraged by the light blush on her cheeks.

:o:o:o:o:o:

"I'm telling you, boys, I'm sensing a definite thaw."

The four Marauders were sitting by the lake eating apples they had pinched from the kitchens.

"It's just a few short steps from doing homework together and comforting her when she's down to—"

"Her taking a stroll with Snivellous around the lake?" Sirius interrupted.

The shift on James' face from euphoric hope to tragic disappointment was so rapid that Peter started to laugh helplessly.

Remus kicked him in the shin, and he coughed into his shoulder until the laughter subsided.

Sure enough, there was Lily, a Gryffindor scarf tied tightly around her neck where it clashed splendidly with her auburn hair, walking next to Snape. Both of them were smiling broadly, and their arms dangled loosely at their sides, inches apart, chatting like best friends. James gripped his wand tightly and started to get up, but Remus grabbed his collar and hauled him back down.

"Easy, Prongs," Remus warned. He held tight to James' collar even as the bigger boy struggled. "Don't do anything rash."

"Let him go, Moony," Sirius urged. "Snivelly has it coming."

"Aren't you the least bit curious the kind of curse he'll try?" Peter prodded.

"Ignore them, James, and use your head." Remus wrestled James down to the ground. "Remember what happened the last time Lily saw you cursing Snape for no good reason."

"I have a very good reason," James snarled. "Let me up, Moony."

"Hey, I'm trying to help you get the girl, mate. I'm on your team. If you go over there and charge Snape, give him horns or boils or curse his nose off—" Sirius barked in laughter "—then you will confirm that you are an underhanded git who curses innocent bystanders for fun. Look, they're in plain sight. They're only talking. She's fine. He won't try anything out in the open like this."

Slowly, James relaxed onto the ground, sprawling on his back under the oak tree and discarding his glasses shakily. He dug the heels of his hands into his eyes and groaned.

:o:o:o:o:o:

Across the lake, Lily was oblivious to her fellow Gryffindors avidly watching her circle the water with the black-haired boy at her side.

"Brilliant idea, Sev," she said, stretching her arms above her head. "It's probably one of the last beautiful days we'll have before October sets in and things get really chilly. Why sit indoors in that stuffy old library?"

"Not to mention it's a lot easier to escape from prying eyes and ears," Snape answered. His eyes landed on the Marauders. They seemed to be wrestling under the large live oak that sat at the water's edge. _Idiots_. He shook his head and turned back to the girl beside him.

"Don't you think that's a little paranoid? We're working on a school project. I don't know why your little Slytherin pals are so fascinated."

"If you think I haven't noticed the way James Potter and his cronies have conveniently appeared every time we've worked together this term—"

"That's not my fault," Lily protested. "Anyway, keep your prejudices to yourself and I won't hold it against you that Nott and Avery practically attacked me the other day!"

The color drained from Snape's already sallow face. "What?"

"Like you didn't know." Her eyes narrowed and she peered around at the other students lounging by the lake. "I'm not stupid, Sev. _Keep your Mudblood hands off him_, I believe it went."

There was an uncharacteristic bitterness in her voice.

He swallowed hard. "Lily, there are things in this world that aren't safe for you. I know you understand...you've studied Muggle history. Think of the American civil rights movement, or apartheid in South Africa. You may not know it now, but I'm trying to make things better for you and your kind."

Now it was Lily whose face was pale and bloodless. She stopped walking and turned to him, green eyes on fire.

"It's nice to hear you weren't sleeping or planning how to commit mass murder during Muggle Studies, Snape." She spat his last name like a curse word, and all traces of amicable conversation were gone. "A word of advice, though? Don't go talking to me about my _kind_. It makes you sound like an ignorant ass."

As she stormed away from him, hair flying loose behind him, James Potter watched with equal parts pleasure and concern.

"Score one for the good guys, mates." He stood up and brushed off his trousers, glancing back at the place where Snape stood frozen, his face contorted in pain. "If you'll excuse me, I've got work to do."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Back for another installment :) I'm so happy to hear from you guys, and to see some of you alerting the story. Thanks for reading, this has been a really fun experience for me so far. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns this universe. I'm just playing in her sandbox. Thanks to my beta, Katie!**

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><p>"Tell me."<p>

"No!"

"Tell me, please."

"Mind your own business!"

Lily and Alice were sitting in front of the hearth in their common room late one night eating Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans and pretending to work on Defense Against the Dark Arts homework. Alice had hinted at dinner that she had a secret crush, and the other seventh year Gryffindor girls had been merciless about trying to tease the information out of her.

Lily had taken a less direct approach, waiting for the rest of the girls to go to bed before starting her campaign for more information. Lily knew that Alice could be shy, but that she was far more likely to share her secrets to one person than four.

"I'll eat an entire handful of Every Flavor Beans at once if you tell me." Lily scooped up ten or fifteen of the candies and held them near her mouth.

"Well..." Alice grinned. "Okay. But first, the beans."

Dutifully, Lily tipped back her head and dumped the beans in.

"No fair just swallowing, you have to chew!"

Lily groaned through her mouthful of candy, but chewed it up and swallowed with a gasp.

"Dreadful. Marmalade and black pepper were not meant to be eaten together." She shuddered. "Now, Fetescue, spill your guts."

Alice's ears turned pink, and she stared at her scrap of parchment. "Promise not to laugh."

"Cross my heart."

"You can't tell Marlene, either. Or Emmeline. They'll take the mickey out of me."

Lily huffed and rolled over to face her friend. "I promise, okay? Spit it out!"

"Ihaveacrushonfranklongbottom."

"Excuse me? Was that English?"

"I have a crush on Frank Longbottom," Alice repeated. She spoke slower the second time, but she still mumbled her way through it.

"Alice! That's fantastic, Frank's a good bloke. Not like those Marauders he rooms with."

"He doesn't even know I'm alive." Alice threw her hands up dramatically, then realized she had spoken a bit louder than was appropriate for the peaceful common room. A few fourth years glanced up in curiosity, but quickly got back to their books. Across the room, however, near the staircase that led to the boys' dormitories, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin looked up from their game of Exploding Snap.

"Shhhhh!" She waved her hands even more hysterically as the boys put away their cards and exchanged devious smirks. "Merlin, Lily, they heard you say Marauders."

"How could they have?" Lily lowered her voice further, just in case. "I was whispering, and they're all the way across the room!"

"Some kind of trouble-making sixth sense, or something," Alice moaned. She warily watched them approach. "Hi, boys."

"Evening, Alice. Lily." Remus nodded politely.

"Where are the rest of your cohorts?" Alice asked, glancing around the common room. "It's rare that the four of you aren't together."

"Aren't you a bit more interested in Frank?" Peter grinned as Alice let out a little gasp of shock.

"Wormtail, be nice," Remus warned. He smiled apologetically at Alice. "Don't worry, Frank doesn't know."

She slumped. "Of course not. How could he? He'd have to know I exist first."

"Oh, he knows you exist," Peter chuckled. Remus gave him another warning glare and Peter bit his lips to stop from snickering.

"What are you two up to?" Lily looked from one guilty face to the other with increasing suspicion. "And where are James and Black?"

"James, you say?" Remus said casually. "You mean Potter, of course."

Lily flushed. She had started calling him by his first name privately, mostly because it made him more compliant when it came down to studying and coordinating on patrols. He always got a little dreamy eyed when Lily said his name, and she wasn't above using that to her advantage. James didn't need to know that her stomach usually fluttered at the sound of his voice, whether he was explaining their Transfiguration homework or droning through their agenda for the latest prefect meeting.

Somehow, in spite of herself, Lily was beginning to develop feelings for James Potter. She wasn't yet sure what kind of feelings they were, but they were definitely different than the general indifference she had maintained for years.

She cleared her throat. "James, Potter, whichever," she said airily, hoping that the boys bought her dismissive tone. She knew from the look in Alice's eyes that she hadn't fooled her friend. She'd have to do damage control later.

"Prongs is upstairs working on his Quidditch training schedule, putting the finishing touches on before Sunday's practice," Remus said, still smirking. "As for Padfoot...well, it probably isn't a good idea for me to tell the Head Girl just what kind of rule breaking he's getting up to at the moment."

"Let's just say that Sirius likes to put the Astronomy Tower to good use before the weather gets too cold," Peter added.

"Shouldn't you have better control over your cronies, Remus?" Lily asked disapprovingly.

He shrugged helplessly. "I know better than to try. But we didn't come over here to talk about Padfoot's sexual exploits."

He turned back to Alice. "I happen to know for a fact that Frank will not be going to Hogsmeade tomorrow."

Alice stared blankly at him. "And...?"

"He will not be going to Hogsmeade because he heard through the grapevine that a certain seventh year Gryffindor girl would be going with Paul Prentiss of Ravenclaw, and he simply could not bear to watch."

"Paul? He might of mentioned something in DADA the other day..." She blushed prettily.

"Well, good old Frank thinks he's missed his chance, and the rest of us are sick of hearing his belly aching," Peter said. "Any chance you could put him out of his misery?"

"Hang on," Lily interrupted. "What are you two up to? What's in this for you?"

"The happiness of two of our fellow Gryffindors, of course," Remus responded immediately. "And Pete's right, Frank has really been a stick in the mud lately."

"This wouldn't have anything to do with Quidditch sabotage, would it?" Lily pressed. "I don't suppose you or your friend Potter have given any thought to the fact that Paul Prentiss is the Ravenclaw Seeker, or that a romantic rivalry might put him off his game?"

"I'm hurt you would jump to such a…a specious conclusion." Peter sniffed and looked at Remus, feigning horror. "Here we are, going out of our way to help out a friend—"

"Two friends!" Remus put in.

"And all you can do is accuse us of looking out for own self-interests. Shocking."

"Ladies, enjoy your evening," Remus said with a nod. "Come on, Wormtail. Let's see if Prongs is still up."

Once the two boys were safely up the staircase, Lily turned to Alice. "Paul? You didn't say anything about Paul!"

"It didn't seem relevant." Alice turned a darker shade of pink. "I didn't think it was like a date, he just invited me to come with him and some of his mates. Jennifer Jones will be there! We get on well, and I thought I could, I don't know, branch out a bit?"

She buried her face in her hands and groaned. "Now I've ruined things with Frank."

Lily patted her on the back. "You never know. It isn't a good idea to put too much stock into what that lot says, even Remus. Even if it is true that Frank isn't going to Hogsmeade tomorrow, it could just as easily be because he has too much work to do. Isn't he president of the Defense Against the Dark Arts League this year?"

Alice smiled weakly. "You're right, of course. Practical Lily, always finding the answers."

Lily scoffed. "Nonsense. I'm just not as close to the situation. Besides, even if it is true that Frank is jealous of Paul, you aren't necessarily sunk yet. Use it to your advantage! Nothing wrong with a little good, old-fashioned jealousy."

"A little late night scheming by the fire, eh, Evans?" Sirius Black strolled into the common room, which by that time almost deserted. His scarlet and gold striped tie was hanging loosely around his neck, and his shirttails had come untucked.

"I won't ask where you've been," Lily said sternly, "because I'd rather not go docking my own house points."

"Knew you weren't beyond favoritism." He smiled and threw himself onto the love seat right next to where the girls were sitting. "Having two Heads in Gryffindor house really is a lark, especially when one of them is a Marauder. Although, I've been meaning to talk to you about that, Lilykins."

"Talk to me about what?"

"You've bewitched Prongs. He's become practically...responsible."

"I haven't done anything. Maybe James has just come to understand what it means to actually have responsibilities, instead of treating life like one giant party."

"James," Sirius paused a bit, drawing out the name with a mischievous grin, "has come to realize that the only way into your stubborn heart is through pretending to be respectable."

Now it was Lily's turn to flush. "Get off it, Black. If you don't mind, Alice and I are having a private conversation."

"I think I do mind, now you mention it." Sirius propped his feet up on the arms of the love seat and settled in. "So...what's the gossip?"

"Is it true that Frank isn't going to Hogsmeade tomorrow because of me and Paul Prentiss?" The words flooded out of Alice's mouth, and she looked surprised after she had said it, as though she couldn't quite believe she'd had the nerve.

Sirius's eyes twinkled. "Cat's out of the bag, is it? Poor Frank, he's been pining for years. Almost as long as dear Prongs."

Lily ignored the jab. "I suppose it would be nice to have a male perspective. I was just telling Alice that maybe a bit of jealousy would help move the situation along. What do you think?"

"I think that if you asked Frank to choose between dueling with a dragon and asking a girl on a date, he'd choose the dragon."

"I can't ask him out!" Alice gasped, horrified. "I'd die of embarrassment."

Lily sighed. "It appears we are at an impasse. I still think you should go to Hogsmeade with Paul and the Ravenclaws, enjoy yourself, and let Frank eat his heart out. Maybe it'll be just the kick he needs."

"Speaking of the first Hogsmeade weekend of the year," Sirius interrupted. "I assume you will be making your way into town at some point, Miss Evans?"

"Yes," Lily said suspiciously. "Of course. Why?"

"Just making sure. You've been looking a little peaked lately, and we can't have you off your game. You need to take care of yourself." He yawned and stretched. "Well, ladies, it's been lovely, but I need my beauty sleep."

The girls watched him leave, stripping off his tie and unbuttoning his dress shirt as he went. Alice laughed and shook her head.

"You have to hand it to him, the boy is devilishly handsome." Alice stared after Sirius as he climbed the stairs to the seventh year dormitory.

"Devilish being the key word."

One thing was for certain, Lily thought to herself as she cuddled under her covers that night, soaking in the heat from her hot water bottle. The Marauders were up to something.

:o:o:o:o:o:

Everyone was buzzing with excitement over the year's first Hogsmeade weekend. Lily, Marlene, and Emmeline were planning on going into town together, as Alice and Mary had made other plans. It was a typical Saturday morning at Hogwarts, except that students made their way down to the breakfast table particularly early in order to beat the rush into town.

"It's a bit depressing, really," Marlene said. She poked at her toad-in-the-hole and sighed. "No more Hogsmeade weekends after this year. This is the last first Hogsmeade weekend."

"Once we've graduated, we can go to Hogsmeade whenever we like," Emmeline pointed out. "Besides, there'll be so much more freedom. What's the loss of one small perk when you're gaining your whole life?"

"That's the spirit," Lily said, shoveling oatmeal into her mouth.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you look absolutely ravishing when you talk with your mouth full, Evans?" Sirius sat down next to her and leaned back, really taking her in. "I feel as though I should frame this moment forever. The little flecks of oatmeal on your chin. Your pink cheeks. The evil look in your eye."

"Can we help you, Black?" Marlene snapped. Lily hurriedly wiped her chin and pushed away her breakfast.

"Now that you mention it..." He smiled at her and waggled his eyebrows. "You and me, McKinnon. The Hog's Head. The first firewhisky is on me."

"In your dreams," she scoffed, although she couldn't quite hide her smile.

"Ah, well." He shrugged. "Can't blame a bloke for trying. I assume you lovely ladies will be flying solo today? No lucky boys tagging along and begging for scraps?"

"However will we manage?" Lily scooped up her bag and adjusted her Head Girl badge. "Come on, girls. I want to get to Zonko's before the crowds."

As the three girls left the Great Hall, they passed a small knot of Slytherins. Lily didn't notice Snape among them, staring after her longingly. James, however, making his entrance to the hall just ask the girls left, saw everything.

"I think its time we do a little more research into what our dear friend Severus Snape has been up to, don't you?" He sat down in Lily's recently vacated seat and scowled in Snape's direction.

"I thought you wanted to start reeling in Evans today?" Sirius asked, speaking around a mouthful of eggs and toast.

"Tell me, do you chew your food or just inhale it?" James wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"If you think I'm bad, you should see the way Lily treats her oatmeal. You won't sleep for a week."

"Lily already keeps me up at night, for completely different reasons."

"So why not work out all that pent up frustration with some other bird? You know, she was telling Fetescue last night that she should go ahead and date Prentiss to make Frank jealous? Turnabout is fair play."

"She was? Excellent. Make sure to tell Frank later, will you? Get him good and worked up about it. A love triangle is just what the Ravenclaw Quidditch team needs."

"You're missing the point, Prongs."

"No, I'm choosing to ignore your point because it is, in the simplest of terms, bullocks."

"But James—"

"Look, I'm not going to go fool around with some other girl just to make Lily jealous. I'm biding my time. I'm doing this the right way. And today, I'm going to spy on Snape."

Sirius shook his head. "Take the cloak."

:o:o:o:o:o:

Tracking Snape and his friends from Slytherin through Hogsmeade was child's play. James didn't even really need his invisibility cloak, although he felt safer with it on. He didn't want to find himself in another situation like the incident on the Hogwarts Express, especially because this time it would be five on one and there would be no one to come in and break up the fight.

Slytherins weren't afraid to curse first and ask questions later.

It wasn't just because Snape was interested in Lily that he bothered James so much, although that certainly didn't help. He had tried to explain it to his parents one Christmas, after they had received multiple owls from Professor McGonagall informing them of his more underhanded exploits.

"He just gets under my skin," he had protested after a particularly stern talking to. "He's an underhanded and slimy git, and he's a Slytherin!"

"Not all Slytherins are bad people, James," his father had said sternly. "I work with several former Slytherins at the Department of Mysteries, all of them upstanding citizens and excellent, if a bit ambitious, witches and wizards. And just for your information, it is just as easy for a Gryffindor to turn bad as a Slytherin."

James hadn't bought into the argument, especially since he had grown up hearing about scuffles with Slytherins his father had had in his own schoolboy days. But he kept his mouth shut and his eye on Snape. Looking back, much of their rivalry was motivated by petty jealousy. Later though, as they began to grow up, James observed a pattern of disturbing, dark behavior.

It wasn't just Snape, although he did show a perverse pleasure in causing pain. It was the entire group of Slytherins in James's year. The lot of them hero worshiped Lord Voldemort, a dark wizard who most people, including the reporters at the Daily Prophet, feared to even mention directly.

At the end of the summer, when he had found the list of names in his father's office, his suspicions had been confirmed. There were Death Eaters in Hogwarts...or at the very least, aspiring Death Eaters. Naturally, James, as an aspiring Auror, felt that he was duty bound to stop them.

After trailing them all over, however, James was starting to regret his decision. So far, they had visited Zonko's, the Post Office, and Honeydukes, purchasing nothing more than ordinary trinkets and snacks that any other Hogwarts student might select.

The entire outing might have been a gigantic waste of time, except for two useful bits of information he managed to glean. At Zonko's he was able to get close enough to the small band of Slytherins to overhear their conversation.

"It's Halloween." It was Tom Avery's voice, James was nearly sure of it.

"That seems unnecessarily risky. The entire school will be up past curfew, not to mention the annual festivities." Snape's cold and calculating voice broke in.

"If that's what He wants, then that's what shall be," the only girl in the group, Victoria Amundson, said. Her voice was distinctive in that it was high and girlish, much too child-like for a seventeen-year-old young woman.

"It won't do us any good to get caught this early in the year, especially not considering the task set to us." Snape again.

The group stood huddled between two rows of shelves stuffed to overflowing with joke products. The layout of the shop allowed them to have a private conversation without looking too out of place. Unfortunately, it also prevented James from getting too close without giving himself away, even with the protection his cloak provided. He lost track of the conversation when a gaggle of third year girls, clearly enjoying their first trip to Hogsmeade, wandered too close to his hiding place.

By the time the girls left, the conversation had passed, and James was left to ponder the tantalizingly vague piece of information he had overheard. He didn't have much time to mull it over, however, as the Slytherins were off to their next destination: Honeydukes.

The first thing that he noticed when he walked into the door, apart from the usual overpowering aromas of sugary sweet treats, was that Lily and her friends were lounging around the taste testing counter.

"Things seem to be going well with you and James," Emmeline was saying when he approached. At the sound of his name, James made the split second decision to change targets. He would put his head together with the other Marauders to discuss what the Slytherins were up to later.

Lily shrugged uncomfortably. "He's been loads better this year. Seems to be taking everything seriously, and we even study together at least once a week."

"He's definitely still got a thing for you," Marlene said. James felt his heart speed up. What would she say?

"Eh, maybe," Lily answered. She wasn't making eye contact with the other girls. Surely that was significant. "I prefer to think he's grown out of it. We're just friends."

"Come on, Lily, it's just us," Marlene wheedled. "No one here is going to judge you."

James scooted a little closer and accidentally knocked over a few boxes of cockroach clusters. The girls jumped and craned their necks, looking for the intruder. After a few moments of searching, they relaxed again, satisfied for the moment that their conversation was private.

"I don't know," Lily said quietly. "I suppose I don't find him so annoying anymore. And he's really been helpful. And of course he's funny and charming. And handsome." She added the last almost as an afterthought.

"And he smells like leather and the outdoors," Emmeline added dreamily.

"And he's heaven on a broomstick," Marlene added, swooning a bit for effect.

James thought his cheeks would break from smiling. Why hadn't he thought of this earlier? Brilliant idea.

"All right, I hereby adjourn this meeting of the James Potter Fan Club," Lily snapped. The tone in her voice brought James crashing back down to earth. "Just because he's decided to grow up doesn't mean that I'm in love with him, okay? In fact, the very thought of being in love with James Potter makes me sick to my stomach."

The other girls wisely let the subject drop.

After that, his heart wasn't in his investigation anymore. He drifted back toward the group of Slytherins he had been following, who were about to leave the store with their bags of sweets, his mind still fixed on Lily and her harsh words. He had thought that they were making progress. She had certainly sounded like she was attracted to him at the very least. Why would she get so snappish all of the sudden?

Women, he decided, were hopelessly difficult.

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><p><strong>AN: I can't help it, I just love writing Marauder banter. :) Thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing, I love hearing from you! **


	6. Chapter 6

**JK Rowling owns this universe. I'm just playing in her sandbox. Thanks to my beta, Katie.**

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><p>The next afternoon, after Quidditch practice, all four of the Marauders sat around the fire in the Heads' office. James knew that Lily would be none too pleased to discover that the biggest troublemakers in school were using their official workspace to coordinate illicit activities, so he made sure that she was safely ensconced in the library before he brought the other boys round.<p>

"So they were talking about Halloween?" Remus furrowed his eyebrows and stared into the flickering flames.

"And some kind of task," James added. "Snivelly seemed to think that whatever is going down on Halloween night will be a risk to a bigger mission. That, and the fact that the whole group of them are the biggest candidates for joining up with the Death Eaters after school, has me concerned."

"I still say you're blowing this out of proportion, mate." Sirius shook his long hair out of his eyes and shrugged. "Don't forget, I had a front row seat to the pureblood mania for years. Even a fanatic like Lord What's-His-Face isn't going to recruit teenagers who are still in school to execute some grand plan of evil, death, and destruction. More likely they're planning a big prank on Halloween and don't want to get detention for it."

"That's not what it sounded like to me," James said stubbornly.

"But you didn't hear the whole conversation, right?" Peter spoke for the first time. He had been silent during the discussion, listening intently with a worried little frown creasing his forehead. "I mean, they're definitely planning something, but maybe it isn't as...sinister as you think?"

"Where that lot is involved, how can it be anything BUT sinister?" James ran a hand through his hair, tugging on the ends so it stuck up in the back. This habit exaggerated a cowlick that had caused his mother no end of annoyance over the years, but James didn't mind, especially since the girls thought it made him look roguish.

Sirius jumped to his feet. "I think Pete's right," he said firmly, and Peter grinned thankfully. "And I also think that this whole thing has been a wake-up call!"

Remus wrinkled his nose and turned away from the fire. "What do you mean?"

"Do you realize it's nearly Halloween and we haven't done anything truly spectacular? The castle has been downright dull!"

"We've done..." Remus trailed off. "Hang on, Padfoot may have a point."

"We shouldn't be planning spectacular pranks," James said faintly. "I'm Head Boy. Moony is a prefect. We have to...uphold the rules and all that."

"So we won't get caught," Sirius wheedled. "Come on, Prongs. All work and no play makes James a dull boy. We never see you anymore. What would it hurt to charm the pumpkin pasties at the Halloween feast with a color changing charm?"

"Better yet, charm the pasties so that anyone who _eats_ them starts changing colors!" Peter exclaimed.

"That's the spirit, Wormy." Sirius clapped him on the back and looked up hopefully at the other two.

"Well..." Remus started, before stopping and looking up at James.

James hesitated for a long time, staring at the floor. Things with Lily were going well and pulling a large-scale prank seemed to be a giant step backwards. Still, Sirius had a point...

"You'll never get close enough to the pasties before the feast to charm them. Even if you did, the house elves would never forgive us for ruining all their hard work. We'd be personas non grata in the kitchens for the rest of the year. "

"He's back!" Sirius cheered. "Excellent. What do you suggest, then?"

"As Head Boy," James said with a devious grin, "I happen to have open access to all the decorations for the Halloween feast...including the pumpkins that get carved up and suspended over the house tables."

:o:o:o:o:o:

An hour later, Lily stumbled through the doors of their office. She had spent the entire day in the Library, digging through bookshelves and poking her nose in every nook and cranny she could think of for the letter that Gideon Prewett seemed to think that Dorotea Brooks had left for her. Mary MacDonald had sat at a nearby table doing her Charms homework and occasionally giggling at Lily's single-minded pursuit of the letter.

James had shooed his friends out minutes earlier, when Remus happened to see her coming on their map.

This map was a rather unique magical object, and as far as they were aware, nothing like it existed anywhere else. It had taken the boys nearly a year to make, but by the end of their fourth year they had perfected the magic enough to risk enchanting an old scrap of parchment.

It was a rather tricky combination of experimental transfiguration techniques that James dug out of _Transfiguration Today_ and charm work that cooperated directly with the protective network of spells that kept the castle safe. Breaking into the security network had actually been the most complicated part of the whole thing.

The trick, they discovered, was to cast the spell in such a way as to convince the castle that their intentions were friendly. It was a lot like staring a hippogriff directly in the eye and hoping you don't get trampled. Remus had hypothesized that if something went wrong, the creation of the map could have triggered a massive protective reaction with untold consequences.

Luckily, nothing went wrong.

As completed, the map was an intricate detailing of every corridor, stairway, secret passage, and classroom in Hogwarts, along with its surrounding grounds. Not only that, but it kept track of every inhabitant, living or dead, human or nonhuman. Each person, animal, house elf, or ghost was represented by a tiny dot, and with a little patience it was possible to know where anyone was at all times.

Lily stomped into the office and threw down her book bag, which spilled out onto the floor. James, who had been concerned she would immediately sense that intruders had been in the room, stared at her quietly for a few moments before daring to speak.

"Something wrong?"

"How is it," she sputtered, "that you can be in this castle for less than a week and manage to locate your Head's letter, and I have searched the entire library _and_ the fifth floor Charms classroom for _weeks _and haven't seen hide nor hair of mine?"

She was seething mad, and it showed. Her face was pale and bloodless, but her ears were as red as her hair, which fell in tangled curls around her shoulders.

She was so beautiful it was hard for James to look at her.

"I am a bit of a magnet for the mysterious," he said cheerfully. She glared.

"Dumb luck?" he tried again. Her scowl deepened.

"Do you want me to help you look?"

She sighed deeply and plopped down on the floor. "You wouldn't know where to look any better than I do. It's a waste of time. I just got it into my head that it would help..."

James approached her slowly, and when she didn't protest, sat down next to her. "Help with what, exactly?"

"Nothing ever phases you, does it?" The words came out hushed and garbled. "You just keep on coasting along, acing your classes, running the Quidditch team, finding your bloody secret letter..."

"I'm hardly coasting," he scoffed. She made a tsking sound, but he shook his head fervently. "Honestly, Lily, this has not been an easy year. The boys were just taking the piss out on me because we've been here for nearly two full months and we haven't pulled anything big."

It was the wrong thing to say.

"Oh, right, because your definition of a challenging schedule is one which precludes the planning and executing of pranks liable to get you expelled."

"Now, Evans, don't hear what I didn't say," he said sternly. "You know we don't do anything dangerous, and it's practically expected that we get into trouble by this point. And frankly, I'm mostly talking about how little time I've had for my mates so far this year.

"On top of that," he continued when she didn't respond, "I'm studying or patrolling or doing homework or trying to get some semblance of organization into my Quidditch plans every night of the week. I'm lucky if I get a free Saturday to just take a breather. You're not the only one who's struggling. Now, either tell me what you're hoping Tee's letter will help you with, allow me to help you look for it, or take a deep breath and move on with your day."

Lily stared at him in shock. James just didn't talk to her like that as a rule. She was so surprised by the stern look in his eye that she accidentally told him the truth.

"Uh...I guess I'm hoping she has some advice on what comes...next."

His forehead creased. "Next?"

"You know." She gestured helplessly. "After Hogwarts."

"Why would that be in a letter about how to be Head Girl?" James felt hopelessly lost, but he was unwilling to let it go just yet.

"I don't know, I guess I'm just feeling a little desperate. It's stupid." Lily sank down onto the soft rug in front of the hearth and covered her eyes with one hand. "You must think I'm insane."

"Well, yes, but that's hardly a recent development."

When she didn't smile, he sat down next to her and patted her shoulder awkwardly. It was the nearest he'd been to her in a long time, and despite the fact that there was nothing remotely romantic about the situation, his heart sped.

In a most unexpected turn of events, she sighed and leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. He let his hand linger on her back, gently rubbing circles into her shoulder.

"Do you ever worry about the future?"

"Of course," he said. "Everyone does."

"I'm not talking about the everyday kind of worries." She was barely speaking above a whisper now, and James had to strain to catch every word. "There's so much going on in the world these days, and sometimes I'm not sure that I fit anywhere."

"Why would you say that? You fit right here." He had meant Hogwarts, but after he said it he realized that it would be easy for her to interpret his words as a come on. Most unusually, Lily let the comment pass without a word.

"I don't. Muggleborn, Mudblood, whatever you want to call it." James made an indistinct snarl of protest at the derogatory term. "There's a war starting over whether people like me have any rights in this world. And seven years living in the magical world have ruined me for anything else. I can't go home, but I can't stay here."

"I know it must feel that way, but Lily, there are people who are outraged by the things that have been happening. Just because one bloke is putting on airs and stirring up the pureblooods—"

"He's murdering people, James." Her voice grew stronger. "Killing them because they're not magical enough, or of some noble heritage. Not only that, but he's getting away with it. If no one stops him, who's to say that I won't be among his victims?"

"That won't happen." He shook with fury at the very thought. "For one thing, I won't let it."

She snorted. "Spoken with the true arrogance of a barely of-age wizard who hasn't even got facial hair yet."

"I resent that!" He dropped his arm and looked down into her face. She smirked up at him, and the heaviness of the moment seemed to fall away. "I'll have you know that I use a rather clever charm to keep my face smooth and hairless like this. It takes work!"

"James Potter, you are absolute rubbish at Charms. If you tried something like that you'd probably end up completely bald all over."

He did his best to look affronted, but in the end, the tiniest hint of a smile on her face undid him. The two collapsed into helpless laughter.

"Imagine you bald," Lily giggled, tears coming to her eyes. "You'd look like a British Ghandi with those round glasses!"

"Ghandi?"

"A famous muggle." Lily waved the question away and hiccuped, recovering from her fit of giggles. "Oh! I forgot. Professor McGonagall wanted to make sure that we knew Halloween night means extra patrols. You and I will are expected to be out in the corridors from nine to midnight, and we need to make sure that there's a pair of prefects assigned to each hour as well. It's a favorite night for troublemaking, as I'm sure you are aware."

James' face fell. "Three hours of patrol? On Halloween?"

"That's the high price of the mantle of authority, James," Lily said with a wry smile. "Instead of partying back in the common room or sneaking out to Hogsmeade, you'll have to enforce discipline with me."

"Sneaking? I don't sneak!"

"Right," she scoffed.

"Hey," he said after a few second. "You're smiling. Feel better?"

"You know what, Potter? I do."

:o:o:o:o:o:

Later that week, Lily was studying with Alice and Mary in the library. That is, Lily was studying while Alice and Mary were doggedly trying to get her to gossip about the boys in their year.

"Come on," wheedled Mary. "If you had to pick...Henry Jacobs or Remus?"

Lily threw down her quill in frustration. "Henry Jacobs is a prat. I don't know how those Ravenclaw girls stand the sight of him."

It was a bit harsher assessment than perhaps Henry deserved, but Lily had been trying, and failing, to complete a complicated set of Arithmancy equations for the better part of an hour.

"So you choose Remus?"

"No, of course not. Remus and I are friends. We're practically colleagues. That's inappropriate."

"Okay, Professor McGonagall." Alice rolled her eyes. "Come on, unbutton your robe a little and play the game."

"I know why she doesn't want to pick Remus," Mary said slyly. "It's because he's one of James's best mates."

"Don't be silly," Lily sniffed. "I just don't think this game is any fun."

"Here's one." Alice leaned forward on her elbows with a bright gleam in her eye "Severus or James?"

She and Mary looked expectantly at Lily, whose face turned bright pink.

"I am not going to answer that!"

"Oh, come on, you have to have an opinion," Alice pressed. "Especially now that you've been able to spend so much...up close and personal time with James."

"I need a different book." Lily stood up in a rush, her cheeks burning, and practically fled from the table. She didn't stop until she was hidden safely among the ancient tomes that filled the west side of the library. Students didn't usually come to this part of the library unless they were desperate for a quiet hiding place, or, for many of the older students, a quiet place to snog.

"Lily?"

Severus's voice broke into the peaceful silence of the library, though he was practically whispering. Lily gave a little shriek and jumped.

"Sev! What are you doing back here?"

He stared past her, as if trying to formulate the right answer.

"Sev?"

Reluctantly, he looked back at her face, his dark eyes searching. "I came to warn you."

She leaned back to really look at his face. He looked drawn and tired. "Warn me? About what?"

He moved his lips soundlessly for a moment, then stared at his feet. "Stay in your common room after curfew on Halloween, all right?"

"Be serious, Sev," she protested. "I'm Head Girl. Halloween means extra patrols, not less."

"Have someone else do it for you then. Have Potter," he begged, suddenly looking up into her eyes. He reached out and gripped her shoulders. "Lily, you have to listen to me. I know we haven't been close, and maybe you're right to not trust me, but I care about you."

"Let go of me!" She frantically tried to shake him off and groped for her wand, but Severus just pushed forward, pinning her against the shelves.

"Things are happening that you can't protect yourself from," he warned in a harsh, low voice. Slowly, he reached up a hand and traced a hesitant finger down her cheek. She flinched at his touch, and there was pain in his eyes when he spoke again. "I can protect you, if you'll let me. You'll never come to any harm, I promise."

Her shoulders ached where he was holding her. "I'm being harmed right now! You're hurting me, let go!"

"Promise me you won't be out on Halloween," he insisted.

Finally, she felt her wand at the bottom of her pockets. Stretching her fingers as far as they would go, she managed to pull the tip up into her fingers and get a solid grip on it.

"I can't do that," she said. "Now let go of me, or else."

He let out a harsh cackling laugh, and it was so different from his usual sly chuckle that Lily's mouth went dry. She felt as though she were watching her former friend come unhinged.

"What are you going to do, take House points?" he wheezed. "As if any of that matters anymore!"

"_Stupefy_," she whispered, managing to aim her wand through her robes. His eyes slid back and he fell.

"Twenty points from Slytherin," she whispered shakily, before fleeing from the stacks and back to the safety of her dormitory, completely forgetting her book bag in the process.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry for the gap between postings. Thank you for reading, and for your reviews :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter et. al. I'm just playing in her sandbox.**

* * *

><p>Lily spent the rest of the afternoon lying in bed and hiding under her covers. When Mary and Alice came looking for her with her books and book bag, she told them she had come down with the flu and needed to rest. She wasn't normally one to hide, but she needed time to think.<p>

The most concerning bit was that Severus had almost seemed frightened. What was happening on Halloween night? His warnings made no sense, although she gathered that they had something to do with her so-called blood status.

The real question was: should she tell someone, or keep it to herself? And if she kept it to herself, what then?

Ordinarily, Lily wouldn't hesitate to turn in a rule-breaker, but this felt different. For one thing, she didn't know what exactly was going to happen. Maybe nothing. Maybe the whole thing was a stunt to get her to start spending time with him again, to turn to him for protection and guidance. If their relationship hadn't changed so drastically, maybe she would have. Then again, the fear and urgency on Severus's face was just a little too real for the whole thing to be a total sham.

Maybe his Slytherin friends were planning a stunt. Yes, that would be it. The rising panic she had been feeling since fleeing the library was quelled to a dull murmur, and she sighed deeply, settling further under her comforter.

It was no secret that Sev's pals were less than thrilled that he associated with a Muggleborn. The fact that she no longer considered herself his friend wouldn't matter to _them_. Most likely they had some scheme to target the figures of authority who patrolled the halls, and with Halloween night being a good one to find many such people out and about at all hours...it only made sense. Obviously, as Head Girl and Mudblood, she would be public enemy number one.

Then she had a thought that really made her squirm. She would have to tell James.

:o:o:o:o:o:

She was still fretting over what she would tell James as she emerged from her dormitory that night. When she came down for dinner, he was waiting for her at the foot of the stairs, a worried frown on his face. He had run into Alice and Mary on their way to the Great Hall, and the two hadn't hesitated to tell him how out of sorts and ill Lily was.

When he saw her coming down the stairs, cheeks flushed but otherwise looking completely healthy, he felt a little foolish for being so concerned.

"All right, Evans?" he said automatically.

"James? Were you waiting for me? I didn't forget a meeting did I? I thought we were getting together tomorrow after dinner?"

"Er, no. I mean, yes. I mean..." He reached up to ruffle his hair, but at the last moment remembered the habit annoyed Lily. He rubbed the back of his neck instead. "Mary and Alice said you were sick and I was worried, I guess."

The strange fluttering feeling that usually occurred when James acted like a decent human being struck again, and Lily tried hard not to remember that this had been happening with some regularity of late.

"That was nice of you." She dropped her eyes and ducked her head. "I'm okay, though."

"Are you going to be okay to patrol tonight? I know you're on with Remus. I could...I could take over for you if you want. If you don't feel good."

"I think the Slytherins are planning something for Halloween night," she blurted. "Something dangerous."

His jaw dropped open and he stared at her in shock for a moment, unable to process her words. Finally, he sputtered, "How do you know about that?"

Now it was Lily's turn to stare. "_You_ know?"

He glanced around the common room, noting that it was crowded with students relaxing after a day of classes, chatting and goofing around. "Not here, okay? Let's go to the office."

She rolled her eyes. "That's all the way on the other side of the castle. Let's just go up to your room if you want a little privacy."

It was James' turn to duck his head in embarrassment. "My room?"

"Well, we can't go to mine," she huffed. "I assume Sirius has told you about the trick our stairs will pull on any boy who tries to get in."

When he didn't respond, she added, "Or maybe you have personal reasons for knowing about that particular feature of Gryffindor Tower."

"Ah," he coughed, "you're right, let's go up. Padfoot is in detention for the evening, and Moony and Wormtail went down to dinner."

"Padfoot," she mused. She shook her head and followed him toward the boys' dormitories. "Moony, Wormtail, and Prongs. What strange names you have for each other."

James shrugged uncomfortably. The names had been questioned before, of course, by students and teachers alike. In fact, the boys had various stories they told to explain away the nicknames that represented their foray into illegal human transfiguration. They rarely told the same story more than twice, and it only served to add to the mystique that sometimes surrounded the four boys.

"_You see, when Peter was a baby, he got hit by an experimental curse that gave him a long tail. The Healers at St. Mungo's gave it up as a hopeless case, but we managed to get rid of it in second year."_

"_Muggles in America make a liquor called moonshine. A few years ago, Remus figured out how to streamline the process with distillation charms. It's enough to make you drunk for a week from a single shot. He sold the recipe to Old Ogden's for a small fortune."_

He could have told her any one of a dozen stories about the nicknames, but for some reason, lying to her about anything made him feel guilty, even when it was something so private and personal. Instead, he just shrugged awkwardly.

"I guess. They never seemed too strange to me."

He stopped in front of the door to the room at the top of the tower, which had been his home for the past six school years. "Just...give me a minute will you?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to be shocked by your dirty pants, Potter. Just let me in."

"Give me a minute," he said again, and slipped inside, stopping her protests. The door slammed in her face before she could take a step forward.

It was a good thing that the boys were all out, because they would have taken the mickey out of him for the small fit he had just then.

"You're being stupid, James, just let me in." Lily's cross voice came through the solid wood door. He sprang into action, knowing she would only respect the closed door for so long. He circled the room stuffing robes, dirty clothing, and the odd pair of pants out of sight. Whatever she said, he didn't think that Lily would appreciate staring a pair of Sirius's undies in the face. He also whisked his invisibility cloak into his trunk and checked to make sure the Map wasn't sitting out anywhere, conspicuously tracking the castle's inhabitants.

Taking one last deep breath, he called out, "Come on in."

She came in immediately, an annoyed grimace fixed on her face. "Took you long enough."

"You were waiting for two minutes, if that," he snapped. She startled, and he sighed, sternly telling himself that the whole conversation would go poorly if he didn't get a grip on his nerves. It was so unfair that the moment he finally had Lily Evans in his room, standing there like she owned the place, they were there to talk about Slytherins. _Ugly gits._

"What do you know?" Lily demanded. "And more importantly, how?"

James frowned, unsure of how much to reveal. Obviously he couldn't tell her about the Cloak or stalking her former best friend through Hogsmeade. Regardless of her current stance on Snape, James knew from experience that Lily could still get touchy where the greasy haired slimeball was concerned.

"I overheard a group of older Slytherins talking in Hogsmeade," he said slowly. "They were talking about something big...and they mentioned Halloween."

"That's all?" she asked impatiently. "You had to have heard more than that."

"Since when do you encourage me to stick my nose where it doesn't belong? Especially when it involves Sniv-Snape."

She sighed. "I just meant that if you were so sure that something was happening, you must have heard more than that they were planning something big."

"I heard one of them say _It's Halloween_." James struggled to remember the exact details of the conversation. "Snape said that it was foolish because they might get caught. He mentioned being out after curfew, and how security is always up that night. And then they were talking about a...task. Something else they had to accomplish."

Lily sat down on Remus's trunk and rested her chin in her hands. "Well, that's not a lot of help."

"There's something else, but you're not going to like it."

"Goody."

"You know my dad's an Auror, right?"

Lily nodded.

"Okay, so right before we left for start of term, I was doing some...investigating in his study."

"You mean you were snooping."

"To put it coarsely, I suppose I was," James admitted. "But it was only because I was concerned, and my dad wasn't telling me anything! I'm a fully grown wizard now, and I'll be starting the Auror training program next year. I have a right-"

"To government secrets?"

"He would hardly keep state secrets in his study," James scoffed. "But we're getting away from the point. I was going to tell you what I found."

"What you found...when you were snooping."

"Yes, yes, you're so much more ethical than I, Evans. Some day you must tell me how you manage to live with your nose six inches higher than everyone else's. It must make walking a straight line quite difficult."

Lily snorted, and for a moment it almost looked like she was holding back laughter. Then she said gruffly, "Well, go on, then."

"I found a list of suspected Death Eaters, and some of the names on there were a little too familiar, if you know what I mean."

"I think we're a little past riddles, Potter. Just tell me who was on the list."

There was a tinge of fear in her voice, but James could see from her eyes that she knew what he was about to say already. "Snape, for one. And all his friends, at least the ones in seventh year. Eight names that I recognized; I think two of the seventh year girls didn't make the list."

Lily nodded glumly and expelled a sharp breath. "I was afraid you were going to say that."

"But not surprised?"

She shrugged. "He's been going that way for years, now. It's one of the reasons we...had a falling out. He always insisted that somehow I didn't fit inside all those muggleborn stereotypes that purebloods believe, that I was _different_. I just couldn't reconcile that with someone who would campaign for the alienation of everyone who was like me from the wizarding world. No matter how much I wished I could."

James shifted uncomfortably, wishing that they had progressed far enough in their friendship that he was able to cross the room and offer a reassuring hug or a hand to hold. He remembered the moment in front of their office fireplace longingly, when her head was nestled into his shoulder and his arm was solidly wrapped around her.

"I'm sorry," he said instead. "I can't imagine how difficult that must have been."

"No," she agreed. "You can't."

He waited a few moments, and when she didn't say anything else, he continued. "Anyway, it seemed to me like a bunch of potential Death Eaters planning to make trouble didn't bode well."

"As opposed to you and your friends planning to make trouble."

"We don't make trouble," he said slyly. "We provide much needed stress relief and entertainment for the student body, and we keep the staff agile! Wouldn't want them to get rusty, now would we?"

"I forgot. You're all about showing off."

"_Was _about showing off. I'm reformed." He tried not to think about the stunt that he and the boys intended to pull at the Halloween feast. Lily could spot a guilty conscience at fifty paces.

"A reformed James Potter." She laughed. "I'll believe it when I see it."

"It seems we've gotten off topic again," he said. "That's all the information I have. It's your turn."

Lily briefly recounted the story of her meeting with Severus in the Library, leaving out the bit where Sev pinned her against the bookshelves. Somehow, she understood that no matter how reformed James was, if he knew the extent of their encounter, he would go after Snape and not stop until serious damage had been inflicted.

"He said you would be in danger if you were out after curfew? Just you?"

"I don't think he cares about _you_, if that's what you're asking."

James smiled grimly. "No, I don't expect he does. But it's still troubling that he singled you out like that. Have we set patrols for that night yet?"

"No, that was on our agenda for tomorrow. Why do you ask?"

"Because I'm thinking it may be a good idea to avoid putting any Muggleborns out on patrol that night. You, I can control for. Roving pairs of Prefects are a bit trickier."

He knew immediately that he had said the wrong thing.

"Avoid putting Muggleborns on patrol? You mean because Muggleborns obviously can't protect themselves? We're so helpless and weak, we need the big strong blood traitors to protect us!"

"You're out of line, Lily," he said coldly. "First of all, only people like your mate Snape use the term _blood traitor._ It's beneath you."

She flinched and colored. "I just meant-"

"Second of all," James continued, as if she hadn't spoken. "Anyone who has ever been in a Defense class with you knows that Muggleborns can be just as lethal as any other witch or wizard. Don't be deliberately daft. But if we can fill the patrols with Prefects who won't be targets, why shouldn't we? In the name of safety and cutting down on the risk of injury? Tell me, do you really want to pit a fifth year Prefect against a troop of seventh years who know how to use Dark magic and aren't afraid of getting their hands dirty? Because I don't want to be responsible for that."

Lily's face went white. "Of course I don't want people to get hurt. But I don't think that buying into the same value system as the crazy buggers who want to take away my wand and kill my family is productive."

"Like it or not, that value system is going to determine a lot about how this war is fought. The sooner you accept that, the safer you and your family will be."

"Don't you dare talk to me like you know what this is like for me. James Potter, pureblood, the son of purebloods _ad nauseum_. You grew up sucking on a silver spoon. Who cares if your family supports Muggle rights? You belong to their world, and like it or not, you'll never know what it means to be a Mudblood."

James felt as though she had slapped him. It was as close as anyone had ever come to calling him a bigot, and the fact that it was Lily made the accusation sting that much more.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Evans. I didn't realize that my blood status was so important to you. But might I suggest that perhaps you are the one being narrow-minded?"

He stood up from his bed, anger churning in his stomach, and walked toward the door. "I think the only way to resolve this Halloween issue is to go speak to the Headmaster. You're welcome to join me if you like."

Pausing in the doorway, he added, "And I don't care who you are. That word is filthy, and shouldn't cross anyone's lips. I thought you were better than that, Evans. I guess I was wrong."

She lost track of how long she sat there, frozen, trying to decide whether to follow him and beg his forgiveness or simply hide in the boy's dormitory forever. She wanted to fly into a rage, to tell him to take back his hurtful assessment. She wanted to cry, to tell him he misunderstood. Most of all, she wanted to go back to this time last year, when James Potter was simply a boy who misbehaved and got on her nerves. This new Potter, one who had ambitions and ethics, who was decent and thoughtful and had strong feelings about important issues, was too confusing.

The longer she sat there, the more she realized that he was right. Not just about telling Dumbledore, which should have been her first plan as soon as she felt something dangerous was going to happen. He was right about her. While she still thought that he had no idea what it was like to be Muggleborn, and probably wouldn't ever, she wasn't right to lump him in with the purebloods who looked down on her. She knew from reading the Daily Prophet that Mr. Potter was outspoken about his opposition to Muggle cruelty and the persecution of Muggleborns. He even worked on a special task force dedicated to tracking Lord Voldemort.

She was still sitting on Remus' truck when he and Peter returned from dinner. The boys stopped in the hall outside the room, staring in a combination of shock and awe that would have been hilarious if she was in a better mood.

"Are we on the right staircase?" Peter said after a brief pause.

"I think we'd know by now," Remus said with a smile. Lily didn't return it. She stood stiffly, feeling as though she had been cramped in a tiny ball for hours on end. Her muscles throbbed, and it occurred to her that she hadn't moved a muscle since James stormed out. She wondered how long ago that was. The room was dark, and in the distance she could see the red glow of the sun slipping beneath the horizon.

"Sorry. James and I had a meeting and…"

She faltered, and her eyes burned with unshed tears.

"Is she going to cry?" Peter asked, bewildered. "What did he do, pay you one too many compliments?"

He had meant to lighten the mood, but at his feeble joke, Lily's tears overflowed, and she sank to the cold stone floor and sobbed. Remus reacted first, rushing to kneel next to her. For several minutes he could only interpret sniffling mumbles. Eventually she sat up, eyes puffy and red.

"Erm, I don't have a handkerchief," Remus said quietly. "Perhaps you'd like to blow your nose in my tie?"

He loosened the tie in question and offered the end to her with a grin. Lily gave him a watery smile and shook her head.

"I'm all right." She dabbed at her eyes with her sleeve and sighed. "But I've been a total idiot, and now I'm going to have to do something dreadful."

"What's that?" Remus asked.

"Apologize to Potter."

Peter offered her a slab of Honeydukes chocolate, which she took gratefully. "Thanks."

"No problem." He sat down next to her carefully, watching for any signs she was about to cry again. Peter didn't do well with crying women. "You know, usually I'm offering James chocolate to cheer him up after he's said something stupid to _you_."

"What happened?" Remus cut in, seeing the hurt in her eyes when James' name was mentioned. "Whatever it is, I'm sure he'll forgive you. You only have to ask."

So she told them about their conversation, skipping over bits and pieces but not bothering to hide their concerns about the Slytherins. She assumed, rightly, that James had already shared his information with his friends. When she got to the part when she told James he was just like the rest of the purebloods, Remus and Peter both winced.

"Did you know that Mr. and Mrs. Potter have taken quite a bit of flack from the rest of the pureblood community for being so outspoken?" Remus said. "And they aren't just paying lip service to the cause, either. They really believe that Muggleborns, part-humans, non-humans, that they all deserve the same rights and treatment as the rest of the magical world."

"Part-humans and non-humans?" Lily asked.

"You know, house elves, goblins...werewolves."

"Goblins and werewolves? What does that have to do with anything?"

"Everything!" Remus' eyes were suddenly on fire, and Lily fell back against his trunk, startled. "Why should someone's ancestry have anything to do with the rights they are afforded in wizarding society? Why should we force house elves to punish themselves cruelly for every mistake? Or forbid a goblin from holding a wand? Or prevent someone who was unfortunate enough to suffer a werewolf's bite from holding a _job_?"

Lily just stared at him.

"The Potters care about basic rights being available to everyone, is my point." Remus' face was flushed, and he was breathing heavily, but he spoke carefully once more. "And because of that their home has been vandalized. They've received Howlers from old family friends, and they've been excluded from the homes of those same friends. They've had things shouted at them on the street and nasty words whispered about them at public events. James understands the true cost of activism better than most purebloods, I'd wager."

"I'm sorry, Remus," she stammered. "I didn't know."

Peter put a calming hand on Remus' arm and the bigger boy seemed to come back to himself. He took a deep, steadying breath and gave Lily a weak smile. "It's all right. Of course you didn't. How could you?"

"If you'd just step outside for a second, Lily, we can tell you where James went." Peter helped her up and led her to the door.

"Why do I have to leave?"

"Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies." With a wink and a nod, the door to the seventh year Gryffindor boy's dormitory was slammed in Lily's face for the second time that day.

:o:o:o:o:o:

Remus and Peter directed Lily to the large oak tree that stood just off the shore of the lake. The sun had completely set by the time she left the castle, and she regretted leaving too quickly to remember her cloak. She shivered and pulled her robes tighter around her body. She wondered how they could be so sure about James' whereabouts, but realized that it was probably better she didn't. With the Marauders, it was often better to remain in the dark.

She found him exactly where they said he'd be, long legs dangling down from a high branch. He must have heard her coming as she walked over the crunchy, fallen leaves, because he hunched his shoulders.

"Go away, Moony. I'm really not in the mood for a lecture."

"How about an apology?"

At the sound of her voice, he whipped around, and through the sparse gold leaves she could see him lose his grip. Before he swayed too far, however, his natural sense of balance kicked in, and he righted himself. Lily smiled when she realized it was a lot like watching him fly on the Quidditch pitch.

"I'm really not in the mood for you either, Evans. Can we just do this later?"

He turned back to face the lake, pulling his legs up so that they rested on a nearby branch. Lily stopped a short distance from the tree and took a deep breath, comforted by the fact that she could not see his face.

"I'd rather do it now, if you don't mind. You don't have to say anything. I...I know I was a prat back there. It wasn't fair of me to make comparisons, especially when...I mean, Remus told me about your parents. I didn't realize—"

"You didn't realize that other people have morals, too? That you're not the only one who's worried about the wizarding world at war?"

James was drawn into the conversation in spite of himself. Whatever else he could say about Lily, and there were many things, the biggest reason he couldn't make himself walk away was the way she prickled under his skin, stabbing sharply and just enough to sting.

"I'm trying to apologize, you idiot!" she shouted. "Would you let me get on with it?"

He looked over his shoulder at this, too tempted by the frustration in her voice. Her hair was flying around her head, whipped by the autumn wind, and the fool had come out on the grounds without even a decent cloak to keep herself warm. Her pale skin was splotchy and red, partly from the wind and partly, he suspected, from recent tears.

"Were you crying?"

She stomped her foot and glared at him. "That's irrelevant! Shut up, Potter, it's my turn to speak."

Giving up on staying aloof, he grabbed the branch he was sitting on and swung down to the ground.

"You're pretty rude for someone trying to apologize."

She wrapped her arms tightly around her middle, clutching her robes to her body.

"Oh for heavens sake," James said impatiently. He took off his cloak and tossed it at her. "Put that on before you freeze to death."

"What about you?"

"I'll live."

She wrapped the cloak around her shoulders, revelling in his residual body heat.

"I'm really sorry, James."

It was almost too simple, but after staring into her green eyes for a moment, he realized that he had already forgiven her. He gave her a smile and shrugged.

"Forget about it."

"But—"

"Evans, I swear, you make everything ten times more difficult than it has to be. Are you arguing with me? I accept your apology!"

She snapped her mouth shut and nodded.

"Now let's go back inside and I'll tell you what happened with Dumbledore."

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><p><strong>AN: Thank you so much for reading! **


	8. Chapter 8

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter et. al. I'm just playing in her sandbox.**

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><p>Halloween morning dawned clear and bright at Hogwarts. James knew because he had barely slept the night before. Unfortunately, October's full moon fell on the 30th that year, which meant that James and his friends had important business to attend to.<p>

It was a tradition of sorts for the boys who lived at the top of Gryffindor Tower. Near the end of their second year, James, Sirius, and Peter had discovered an awful truth about their friend Remus: he was a werewolf. What happened next defined them as friends and brothers for the rest of their lives. Vowing to help Remus in any way they could, the other three hatched a plan to become unregistered animagi. Over several years of hard work, they eventually accomplished the feat, although the journey wasn't without its scary moments.

For example, when they first began experimenting with the actual spellwork involved, Sirius had accidentally transfigured his upper half while leaving his lower half human. Once they had all succeeded in the transformation process, it was a funny joke to look back upon, but at the time they were terrified. They couldn't go to Madam Smythwick, the cranky old witch who ran the school infirmary. She would know in a heartbeat what had happened. If they had been caught doing highly dangerous, unsupervised magic, the consequences would have been dire. Expulsion, or at the very least, detention every night for the rest of their Hogwarts careers.

Luckily, working together, James, Remus and Peter had managed to transfigure Sirius back to his old self. Needless to say, it was several weeks before either of them were brave enough to try it again.

By the end of their fifth year, they completed their transformations and mastered the art of the animagi: James became a stag; Sirius, a large black dog; and Peter, a rat. From that time forward, the boys were together every full moon, running around the Forbidden Forest or exploring the countryside around Hogsmeade. In the summers, they met near Remus' home in Wales whenever possible. Remus was never quite himself during these romps, and he rarely remembered the entire evening, but he was less likely to harm himself when they were there, and the days after the full moon tended to be easier for him on the whole.

As James watched the sky turn a pale pink and orange that Halloween morning, Remus was being led from the rickety but extremely secure house in Hogsmeade where Dumbledore and the other faculty believed he spent the entire night every full moon. He would take the rest of the day to recover in the Hospital Wing, but they had high hopes that he would be let out to enjoy the Halloween feast with the rest of the student body. Sirius and Peter had both passed out on top of their covers as soon as they got up to their tower room, and the only sound was the distant hooting of an owl and Peter's soft snores.

James rubbed his eyes tiredly, wondering whether he could get away with skiving off his classes altogether that day. The risk of getting caught and punished was too great, though. He had to be allowed to patrol with Lily that night.

Lily. He sighed and rested his chin on his arms, staring moodily out the window. Working with her hadn't been the gift he had thought it would be. She was stubborn, opinionated, and persistent...and those were her good qualities. These days she was also prone to mercurial moods, changing from happy and almost flirtatious to stormy in an astonishingly short length of time.

At least they had been on relatively civil terms since the whole blood status incident. He thought most of that was probably due to his uncharacteristically responsible choice to involve Dumbledore in planning for the Halloween patrols. At the time, he had thought it was the best way to shut her up and save face. After speaking to the Headmaster, however, even he believed that it had been far and away the best decision either of them could have made.

The usual faculty patrols would be doubled that night, and Dumbledore himself had selected the students who would be patrolling with James and Lily. Some of them were purebloods, like James, but others were particularly gifted Muggleborn and halfblood prefects.

"Not that I don't trust your judgment, Mr. Potter," the old wizard had said gently, "but, as they say, better safe than sorry, don't you think?"

"Absolutely," James had answered fervently. "Um, sir?"

Dumbledore had looked up from the piece of parchment on his desk, blue eyes serious.

"Do you think they'd really do something dangerous? Or is all of this just precaution?"

The Headmaster leaned back in his chair and peered thoughtfully at James over the top of his half-moon spectacles.

"_Just_ precaution? No. But as to whether they would really do something dangerous...I'm afraid that depends on how accurate some of the information I have gathered recently is, and how imminent certain events truly are."

"Certain events?" James felt a thrill of fear run up his spine.

"I'm afraid I can't say much more at present," Dumbledore said gently.

"Oh, of course," James said quickly. "Sorry, Professor. I shouldn't have presumed..."

"No, perhaps not." The Headmaster smiled, and his blue eyes twinkled. "But you should never apologize for asking the appropriate questions. Good day, Mr. Potter."

Later, Lily and James had conjectured what information he had that would increase the threat level on Halloween night, but quickly abandoned the discussion. There was simply too much that Dumbledore had access to above and beyond any ordinary wizard.

James knew if he were to lie down, he'd sleep until the afternoon, and so, groaning, he clambered to his feet, threw on his uniform, and stumbled down the stairs. The common room was silent in the pre-dawn hours. The embers of the previous night's fire glowed red in the dim light.

Breakfast wouldn't be served for another hour at least, so James wandered over to his favorite armchair and sank into it. He leaned his head back against the chair and closed his eyes.

Lily had also had a sleepless night, though for markedly different reasons. In the days following their encounter in the Library, she had noticed Severus's eyes following her everywhere. He watched her at mealtimes, in class, and across the courtyard on sunny afternoons. His eyes were full of concern, but it didn't make the whole thing less creepy. She found she actually missed the days when James was dogging her every footstep, hounding her for dates. At least if he was in her immediate vicinity, it usually meant that Sev wasn't.

Dumbledore's promise of additional faculty patrols had made her feel marginally better, but she couldn't shake the feeling that something big was about to happen. Unwilling to rock the boat with James, she had kept her mouth shut past some blind speculation about what Dumbledore really knew about Lord Voldemort and his followers. All that nervous anticipation made it practically impossible to sleep the night before Halloween.

She waited until breakfast was due to start before wrapping her dressing gown around herself and walking down to the common room. She would have missed James entirely if he hadn't let out a particularly loud garbled sound as she passed by the fireplace.

Surprised, she looked toward the sound. James was sprawled on an armchair, long legs draped haphazardly over one arm, head thrown back against the high back of the chair. One of his arms was curled into his chest and the other hung loosely down toward the floor, his fingers barely touching the cold stones. His glasses were slightly askew.

The sight warmed her. He looked so peaceful. She crept over to where he was standing, careful not to make any noise. She wondered what he was doing down in the common room, and if he had spent the entire night in such an uncomfortable position. He mumbled indistinctly again, and then he smiled.

She sighed. He was so approachable when he slept. "Oh, James. You are a problem."

"Mmph." His eyelids fluttered, and Lily took a step back, flushing at the thought of him catching her practically ogling him in his sleep.

"Oi, Potter!" she whispered loudly, deciding it was better to go on the offensive. He opened his eyes. "What are you doing down here?"

He struggled to sit up with a large yawn. "Evans?" he said groggily.

"What are you doing sleeping down here? Is there a bogart under your bed?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I just came down a few minutes ago." He straightened his glasses and shoved them further up his nose before standing up and stretching. "I didn't mean to fall asleep. Must have drifted off waiting for breakfast. You heading down?"

When she nodded, he grinned. "Excellent. Divine providence, that's what I call this. Shall we?"

In spite of herself, Lily smiled. "Come on, then. We'll probably get the pick of the food. I doubt anyone else is even awake."

The castle was peaceful in the early morning hours, and they met no one as they wandered down toward the Great Hall.

"Why don't you and I patrol together more often, Evans?" James asked suddenly.

"We've patrolled together as much as any other pair," Lily protested. "The whole point of setting patrol schedules is to rotate through pairs evenly, so that no one spends all their time with the same person."

"Yes, but we _make_ the schedule."

Lily stared at him blankly. "And?"

"Never mind."

"You're not the most coherent person in the early morning hours, are you?"

He grinned ruefully. "I suppose not."

In the Great Hall, only Professors McGonagall and Sinistra, along with a scattered handful of students from various houses, were sitting down to breakfast. James and Lily made their way to the empty Gryffindor table, helping themselves to plates and glasses of juice.

"Happy Halloween," Lily said with a smile, lifting her pumpkin juice in a mock toast.

"Here's hoping," James answered darkly.

:o:o:o:o:o:

James loved Halloween at Hogwarts. When he stopped to think about it, he knew that the yearly Halloween celebration would easily be one of the things he missed most about the castle. While he was looking forward to patrolling that night with a dull sort of dread, the feast was sure to be one for the record books. He had to stop himself from chuckling over the charmed pumpkins that would be levitated over the student body in just a few hours time.

Remus appeared in their dorm shortly before the feast that evening, looking drawn and worn, but otherwise happy.

"Moony!" Peter cried. "They let you out!"

"Gentlemen, it appears I've been granted parole," he answered, bowing slightly to the applause of his roommates.

"And just in time." Sirius rubbed his hands together gleefully. "We were starting to think we'd have to go down to the feast without you, mate."

"As if I would miss the opportunity to get detention with you lot for the next month," Remus laughed.

"Only a month?" James asked. "Selling us a bit short aren't you?"

"Always best to make a conservative bet on festive occasions." Remus shrugged. "Chances are good that Dumbledore will just think it's a good spell and funny as hell. That always leads to lighter punishments."

"I'm starving," Peter complained. "Can we talk about how many detentions we're in for a bit later? _After _we've eaten?"

In the Great Hall, James sidled up behind Lily, who was laughing with Alice, Mary and a couple of Ravenclaws who he recognized by sight but not by name.

"Boo!"

She screeched and jumped, hand over her heart. "James, you prat!" she laughed. "You're lucky I didn't curse your pants off."

"Wouldn't be a curse, love," he said with a wink.

She rolled her eyes but didn't make any snide comments, which James took as a victory. He wandered off with a smile on his face, and Lily turned back to her friends, who were staring at her incredulously.

"What?" she snapped when neither one of them said anything.

"You two seem friendly," Mary said, glancing at Alice.

Lily shrugged. "We are. Friendly. Friends. You know."

Suzy James, a pretty Ravenclaw sixth year, peered over at where James and the other Marauders were goofing around and sighed enviously. "He's wasted on you, Lily."

Myra Ackles, Suzy's friend and fellow Ravenclaw, nodded fervently. "I'd kill to have James Potter look at me that way."

Lily bristled. "Well, all you'll have to do is reject him continuously for about three years, and then ignore him for another. That's been my experience anyway."

Alice cleared her throat. "I think it's nice that you're putting all that rivals and enemies rubbish behind you. You might just find that James is quite…fanciable."

There was a loud crash behind them, and the girls stopped talking and whipped around toward the noise. Severus stood a few feet away, a shattered crystal goblet at his feet. His face flamed, and he stooped, muttering, "_Reparo_," and hurrying back toward the Slytherin table, goblet in hand.

"Weirdo," Myra scoffed.

But Lily didn't miss the furious look in Severus's eyes, or the scowl on his face before he turned away. It felt as if there was a lump of ice in her stomach, and nothing, not her favorite treacle tart, not hot chocolate with huge, fluffy marshmallows, or even the food fight that ensued when the pumpkins floating over the house tables started shooting sweets down at the students, could completely erase the feeling.

She was picking Droobles Best Blowing Gum out of her hair—thankfully still wrapped in wax paper—in the common room later when James walked up to her.

"That stunt with the pumpkins wasn't particularly funny, you know. I've seen better." She tried to keep her face stern but knew she failed when he winked at her.

"I don't know what you mean," he said cheerfully. "I certainly don't know anything about who snuck into the Great Hall last night to charm those Jack-o-Lanterns into spitting out sweets after dessert. Or why they started swooping down on the house tables and dive-bombing professors."

"Honestly, James." The sound of her laugh warmed him, and for a moment he allowed himself to enjoy the prospect of spending several hours in her company, making her laugh. Then he remembered the Prefects they were responsible for, and the fight that would likely occur in the corridors while the rest of Hogwarts slept. He swallowed a lump.

"Listen, Lily, can we head down to our office before getting started? There's something I'd like to show you."

She arched an eyebrow at him and leaned back to get a good look at his face. "I will _not _show you mine if you show me yours."

He choked, then sputtered out a maniacal giggle. "Lily Evans, I didn't think you had it in you. No, alas, I have a different sort of show and tell in mind."

She shrugged. "You've intrigued me. Lead on."

As they left the common room, she caught sight of Sirius standing at the foot of the boys' staircase. He was glaring daggers at them, and Lily leaned into James, confused.

"Why does Sirius look like he's about to murder both of us in cold blood?" she whispered loudly.

James glanced behind them and sighed. "Never mind him. He was outvoted, and Padfoot doesn't like to lose."

"Outvoted?"

"You're about to be let into a couple of rather big secrets. Marauder secrets. Had to get the lads' permission first. Peter and Remus agreed to let you in on it, but Sirius...well, he still thinks you're a bit of a narc."

"Sirius likes me!"

James laughed. "I didn't say he doesn't like you. Just that he thinks you'll run to the professors once you learn our tricks. So you'll have to promise me that you absolutely won't go blabbing to the whole school. Or McGonagall."

She stared at him. "I don't know that I can agree to that."

He stopped in his tracks and crossed his arms. They were still well away from their office, and older students were wandering by, enjoying their last free moments before curfew.

"Don't be a ponce, Evans."

"I will not agree to keep something dangerous or illegal to myself."

"What if I were to tell you that the secrets you would be told are neither dangerous nor illegal?"

She frowned. "Then why are they secrets?"

"Oh, for the love of—Evans, can you just trust me? Just suspend your ever-loving skepticism for a moment and trust that I am not about to make you complicit in something terrible?"

There was another pause that seemed to stretch for far too long. Finally, however, Lily gave a hesitant nod. "Okay. I trust you. And I promise."

"Thankyou," he huffed, and they started out toward their office once more, Lily sneaking curious glances at him out of the corner of her eye.

The truth was, it had been incredibly difficult to convince Remus and Peter to agree to share the existence of the Map and the invisibility cloak with her. Sirius had flat-out refused to even consider James's arguments, and the real reason hadn't anything to do with Lily's ability to keep a secret.

"She's a _bird_, mate," Sirius argued. "She isn't one of us. And she never will be. You don't see any of us running off and sharing trade secrets with the girls we fancy, do you?"

Describing Lily Evans as just another girl he fancied was a stretch, but James hadn't felt like getting into the argument right then.

Instead, he said, "Look, we don't know what's going to happen. Dumbledore is legitimately concerned. And not having to hide the Map or the Cloak from her will make things much easier. It isn't like Moony can come out with me tonight. For one thing, he's not assigned, for another, he's completely knackered."

Remus had frowned, but reluctantly agreed with his point. But Sirius wasn't backing down.

"Oh, will it be easier?" he had scoffed angrily."I'm sure it will be easier to impress Evans, maybe even sneak off for a quiet snog. All while you're selling your best mates up the river!"

"Padfoot!" Peter had gasped. "Lily's all right. Besides, all James wants to do is keep the school safe."

"I'm sure that's all he wants," Sirius replied. "That and Lily Evans starkers in his—"

"That's enough!" Remus interrupted, standing up and sticking a hand out to stop James from pouncing on Sirius. For good measure, he cast a shield spell between them as well. "Don't make me hex you both."

James had declared a majority vote, and though Sirius fought tooth and nail, the other three agreed.

"It isn't like I'm telling her about Moony, Padfoot," James had said as he left their room. "Or about being animagi. The invisibility cloak is mine to share, and the Map, well, that's just a damned impressive bit of magic. It isn't as though anyone else is going to be able to duplicate it. Relax."

After he left, Sirius had sat staring at the empty doorway.

"Once you let a girl in the group, everything changes," he said eventually, to no one in particular. Remus patted his shoulder and left the room, heading for the common room with a pile of parchment and some spellbooks. But Peter came over and joined him on the floor.

"Nothing has changed," Peter said quietly. "We're still best mates. We'll always be together, just like we planned."

Sirius shook his head sadly. There was a note of bitterness in his voice when he spoke again. "Nah, Wormy. We're growing up. If it wasn't Evans, it would be some other girl infiltrating. Adults have wives and children and jobs. They don't have time for pranks, or their old school friends. Priorities change."

Peter's face fell, and he looked down at his pudgy, too small hands. "That won't matter," he said firmly, as though just saying the words made them true. "Not for us."

"I hope you're right," said Sirius quietly.

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><p><strong>AN: Thank you so much for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter. I'm just playing in her sandbox.**

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><p>"James...this is...it's...I just—" Lily stumbled over her words, staring at the innocuous piece of parchment in her hands.<p>

He rubbed the back of his neck and stared at his shoes. "I know, it probably breaks about a zillion school rules but—"

"Who cares about that?!" Lily laughed. Her fingers traced lightly over the hundreds of moving dots, each one labeled neatly in Remus' unmistakable handwriting. "James, this is seriously impressive magic. I can't believe you four managed to do this. How old did you say you were?"

Her excitement gave him hope. He peeked up at her, relaxing more at the sight of her broad smile. "Fourth year. I take it you're impressed?"

"Impressed? James, most fully trained wizards couldn't pull something off like this. How did you do it?"

"It's kind of a long story," he said truthfully. "I wasn't showing you to brag, though. And I hope your earlier agreement not to tell anyone stands."

Some of the joy fell away from Lily's face, and for a moment she seemed to waver. James held his breath.

"Of course," she said at last, and James sighed in relief. "But you said that there was more than one secret. What else could there be that's more impressive than this map?"

"I don't know if it's more impressive necessarily." James reached into a desk drawer and pulled the invisibility cloak out from where he had hidden it earlier. "But it certainly is just as rare."

Lily gaped. "Is that what I think it is?"

With a flourish, James swirled the cloak up into the air before drawing it over his body and covering his head, effectively disappearing from view the second the silvery material covered him.

"An invisibility cloak," she whispered, gazing into the empty space where James had stood just moments before.

"You can see why I'd rather you not tell people about this." His voice came from behind her now, and she whipped around, straining her ears for the sound of soft footfalls.

"I won't lie, James, this is a little disconcerting." She turned around again when she heard him laughing somewhere behind her left shoulder.

"Only a little?" He was closer now, and she reached out blindly, trying to pinpoint his location.

Suddenly, hands wrapped around her waist from behind, and she screeched.

"Gotcha!"

She twisted out of his grip and turned toward the sound of his laughter to see him gradually reappear as he pulled the cloak off.

"Okay, I take it back. That was freaky as hell."

"Language, Evans!" He pulled a shocked face, then threw the cloak at her. "Here, take a look."

"Where did you get it?" she asked, ignoring his teasing. "It must have cost a fortune. True invisibility cloaks are impossible to find."

He shrugged. "Got it from my dad, who got it from his dad, and so on. It's a family heirloom, I guess you could say. I think my father has some records of how it was passed down somewhere, but honestly, I never bothered to read them."

She rolled her eyes. "Of course not. Why would you want to find out about a priceless magical object that happens to belong to you?"

"Testy."

"Only a bit." She sighed. "And mostly because it seems you don't know how lucky you are most days."

"I'd have to be a total idiot to not know that, wouldn't I?"

She raised her eyebrows.

"Never mind," he chuckled. "Don't answer that."

She sat down at the desk and handed the cloak back to James, who folded it neatly and stuffed it into the pocket of his robes.

"So, I suppose you have a grand plan for how we're going to prevent mayhem tonight?"

He squirmed. "It isn't exactly a plan."

"Okay..."

"I think you should wear the invisibility cloak while we patrol."

"James—"

"Hear me out!" he interrupted. She sat stony-faced and silent, arms crossed over her chest. "I'm not saying you don't come out and do your job. I'm certainly not saying you don't participate in patrols. I just think, especially with what happened with Snape, that you need to take precautions."

"If we have the map, why do I need the cloak?"

"Take a look at that thing. It isn't exactly easy to follow with all the dots shifting around. I've gotten good at reading it, but things can change quickly, and it's easy to lose track of things in the heat of the moment. The cloak is just an added safety measure."

"I'm not an infant, James." She scowled at the Map, knowing that he was right. Even with most of the students in their dormitories, there would be roving faculty members, Prefects, and all the castle ghosts to account for.

"I'm sure you were a lovely baby, Evans, but I'm more interested in the grown-up version of you."

She rolled her eyes, but couldn't help but smile. "Fine. I'll wear the cloak. But you have to have more of a plan than that."

He shrugged easily. "Not really. Truthfully I've often found that the best way to be prepared for a Slytherin assault is to go in without any preconceived notions."

"So you don't have a plan at all?"

He threw an arm over her shoulders. "Come on, Evans. I've got you on my side. What could possibly go wrong?"

:o:o:o:o:o:

The night got off to a quiet start. Sirius had let out a loud wolf whistle when Lily and James left the common room, but the lip-locking curse that she sent over her shoulder at him stopped that nonsense quickly.

"How long will his lips stay puckered like that?" James asked, covering his laughter with one hand. Sirius was making muffled attempts at speech, turning red in the face as he tried to work his mouth.

"That jinx wears off on its own in about an hour," Lily answered with an evil grin. "But I'm sure Remus knows the counter-jinx."

"Ah, but will he use it," James mused. "That is the question. Sometimes seeing Sirius struggle for an hour is well worth the cost."

"And here I thought he was your best mate." Lily giggled.

"Sometimes true friendship requires tough love. With a healthy dose of mocking thrown in."

"Something tells me that all the mocking in the world can't make Sirius less of a pain in the arse."

James pretended to think about that for a moment. He shook his head sadly. "I think, Lily, my dear, you may just be right on the money with that observation."

Outside the Head's office, the Prefects who had been chosen for patrols were gathered and waiting for instructions. They chattered loudly, speculating among themselves about the reason for increased security. The good mood that had buoyed James and Lily from the common room fled at their excited, happy faces. Lily couldn't help but think about the danger they would be in as they patrolled that night.

"All right, chaps, eyes on me." James clapped his hands and the room quieted immediately. "I know you veterans may be curious about the extra numbers we've got assigned to tonight. Well, no use lying to you. Dumbledore is concerned about possibly Dark activity on the grounds tonight."

"Dark?" squeaked Jenna Haxley, a six year Hufflepuff with a reputation as one of the best Charms students in the school.

"Don't worry," Lily said firmly. "Dumbledore has set out extra faculty patrols. Besides, all this is just a precaution. More than likely, nothing will happen."

James marveled at how cool and confident she sounded, as if Snape hadn't as good as promised she was in danger on Halloween if she was anywhere but her dormitory. Lily Evans, as it happened, was a terrific liar.

They passed along the instructions that Dumbledore had given them, including how to get in contact with the nearest teacher if they ran into trouble.

"Nobody expects you to be a hero." James leveled a stern look on the younger students, eyes lingering on the face of one particularly defiant Ravenclaw boy. "Keep yourself safe and find an adult if things go south. Got it?"

Somberly, the gathered Prefects nodded.

"Right." Lily's bright voice belied her concern. "Out you go. Everyone has routes and schedules. Stay safe."

:o:o:o:o:o:

"This is boring." James stared at the Map and sighed deeply. It was nearly midnight and there had yet to be a single incident. He was torn between relief that absolutely nothing had happened and irritation that they had gotten so worked up.

"Be grateful," Lily scolded. She had discarded the invisibility cloak an hour earlier. "You sound like you're actually disappointed this has just been another night patrolling."

"Something feels off about the whole thing," he grumbled. "Why all the dramatics if they were just going to stay in?"

Lily didn't answer. They were sitting in their office, having completed several full circuits of the school. James had assured her it would be easier to see the whole picture by relying on the Map and going where they were needed if something happened, and the suggestion had been appealing. Every hour, a couple of pairs of Prefects had returned to their dormitories, and now, as midnight neared, Lily and James were the last two students out of bed. She watched him scowl at the Map, his dark eyebrows furrowed and a stray hair sweeping across his forehead in the exact opposite direction of the rest of his unruly mop. Her stomach swooped.

_No_. She shook her head and turned to face the fire. _He's always been handsome, that's not the issue._

"Oh," James said suddenly. He stood up and walked to the desk, pulling out a roll of parchment. "I forgot. Found this for you."

He tossed it across the room, and she caught it automatically.

"What is it?"

"Your Head letter."

Lily squinted at the handwriting on the outside of the scroll and recognized Dorotea Brooks' meticulous script. Her jaw dropped.

"How did you— _Where_?"

"Restricted Section, behind a rather gruesome book about dark curses and their effects. I didn't read it," he added quickly, seeing the flash in her eyes that usually predated a storm.

"I looked in the Restricted Section!" Once again, James had gained the upper hand somehow, and she found herself floundering, reaching out for anything she could grab onto that would even the score. She hesitated, began to unroll the parchment, and then stopped when James made a startled sound.

"What?"

"I don't believe it." James swore and stood up quickly, looking around for his wand. "They weren't even in the bloody castle."

"Who wasn't in the castle? James, you aren't making any sense!"

He tapped the Map with his wand and muttered, "Mischief managed. Come on, Evans, we've got to get going or we'll miss them!"

She followed him at a run, not stopping to pick up the invisibility cloak, which was draped over her armchair. "Shouldn't we get Dumbledore or McGonagall or someone?"

"No time. Hurry up or we won't get there in time!"

She sprinted after him, taking a staircase two at a time just to keep him in sight. "Potter, wait! Where are we going?"

She hadn't kept her voice down, and the shouting echoed a little across the empty corridor. He didn't answer, and she lost sight of him, running with the speed borne of long days on the Quidditch pitch.

"Bloody hell!" Lily held the stitch in her side and gasped, still jogging doggedly after him. "Damn."

She rounded the corner and collided with someone else, flying backwards and landing on her backside. It took her a moment to scramble for her wand, and by then she recognized the person she had so rudely plowed into.

"Goodness gracious, Miss Evans!" Professor Flitwick straightened his glasses and sat up. "Where are you going in such a hurry?"

"I'm sorry, Professor." Her mind was racing, trying to come up with a reason that James would be sprinting through the school without mentioning the Map. "It's just…James thought he heard something."

"Heard something?" The Charms professor was nonplussed.

"Yes." She remembered his words. _They weren't in the Castle._ "We were patrolling and he thought he heard something near the Great Hall. At the school's entrance. He went ahead and I was running to catch up. I'm sorry, I didn't hear you coming."

"I heard you, though, Miss Evans." They stood up, both dusting off their robes. "Shall we go see to Mr. Potter, then?"

She nodded gratefully, her stomach twisted in knots. Whatever James had seen, it had infuriated him, which surely meant the Slytherins were involved. She worried about him taking on a whole group of the evil gits herself.

_If any of them hurt him, I swear to Merlin I'll…_ She almost laughed as she hurried just ahead of Flitwick. James would be positively gleeful if he knew how protective she was feeling right then. And then he'd probably take the mickey out of her. The idea that James Potter wasn't perfectly capable of taking care of himself, even up against a whole bunch of Slytherins, was preposterous.

He wasn't on the ground floor, and the Great Hall and the entryway was clear, but Lily could hear voices coming up the stairway that led to the corridor off of the kitchens.

James was there, pointing his wand at three Slytherin boys, Snape, Nott, and Avery. They stood in a point formation, wands drawn. James and Snape were staring each other down, each practically snarling. It didn't look as though any spells had been exchanged, but from the looks on their faces, it wasn't for lack of desire.

"What's the meaning of this, Mr. Potter?" Professor Flitwick squeaked.

"This gents were out of bed, Professor." James voice was calm, despite the tension that rolled off of him in waves. "I caught them coming in from the grounds."

"Lies," Snape said coolly. "We were headed to the kitchens for a late night snack."

"Wands away, boys," Professor Flitwick said sternly. "Mr. Potter, what did you see exactly?"

None of the four boys lowered their wands.

"I found these three sneaking in from the entrance hall. Wasn't hard to figure out where they were coming from. Their dormitory is in the opposite direction."

"Mr. Snape?"

"We were only having some fun, Professor." His sunken eyes flicked to Lily's face for a moment. "We weren't coming from our common room."

"Where were you coming from then?" Lily demanded. James' eyes never left Snape's face, but she saw his shoulders tense at the sound of her voice.

"None of your business, mu—"

"Shut up, Nott." Snape cut his friend off before he could finish the word.

"All right, that's quite enough," Flitwick said sternly. "I will escort the three of you to your common room. Professor Slughorn will speak with you in the morning. Wands down, gentlemen, or I'll be forced to take them from you."

Slowly, the boys lowered their arms, dropping their wands to their sides.

"Good lads." The tiny professor sounded relieved. "Now, back to your common room with you. Let's go. Mr. Potter, Miss Evans? I believe your rounds are over. The staff will take it from here."

Lily and James didn't move until Professor Flitwick and his three charges were out of sight.

"They weren't wandering around the castle." James gritted his teeth furiously and turned on his heel, heading back up toward Gryffindor tower. "I saw them coming in from the grounds. I saw it and I couldn't say anything."

He swore and kicked at the wall. Lily reached out a tentative hand and touched his shoulder. He froze.

"I saw them, Lily." There was resignation in his voice now, and he slumped into her touch.

"I know."

He didn't move, and she squeezed his shoulder hesitantly. He sighed.

"I was worried you were going to get into a duel."

James shook his head and moved, reluctantly letting her hand fall away. "I would have, but for all their talk they didn't seem to be in the mood to sling curses. I wish I knew what they were doing on the grounds."

"We'll probably never know," Lily said sensibly. "For now, I'm exhausted. We made it through the night with no casualties, and those Slytherins will probably end up with detention. I'd say that's a pretty successful night, partner."

She hooked her arm around his and tugged, leading him back the way they came. He yawned loudly, and she laughed.

"Past your bedtime, Potter?"

"Definitely." He stifled another yawn. "I normally turn in by eight o'clock with a warm glass of milk."

"Yep, that sounds like you."

He gave her a playful shove. "Watch it, Evans."

"What? You said it, not me."

"Might I remind you that I just did something very responsible and did not curse the daylights out of those three idiots?"

"You're practically a middle-aged house witch," Lily said with a mocking grin. "How the marauder has fallen."

"As a reward for my responsible behavior, I think you should let me read your Head letter. It's only fair, after all. You read mine."

"I don't even know what it says yet!" Lily protested.

"Well, you can read it first. I'm not picky."

"How generous."

"I thought so."

They reached the Fat Lady's portrait, where the guardian of Gryffindor tower was snoring quietly.

"Oy!" James said loudly. She didn't respond. "Excuse me! Hello?"

She sputtered awake, opening one sleepy eye. "Yes?"

"_Leonis_."

The portrait swung open and they climbed through the hole. Lily could feel her energy lagging. After being on high alert all day and all evening, her body was crashing.

"Tell you what," she said, holding back a yawn of her own, "I'll read it, and as long as it doesn't contain anything terribly embarrassing, you can see it. Deal?"

James paused, pretending to consider the offer. "Deal."

He stuck out his hand, and she took it, shaking it with mock solemnity. There was a moment, right before he let go, where he could have sworn she hesitated. Then it passed.

"Good night, Evans."

"Good night, Potter."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading!**


	10. Chapter 10

**J.K. Rowling owns this universe. I'm just playing in her sandbox.**

* * *

><p>The next morning, the Great Hall was awash in whispers and rumors at breakfast. The headline on the front page of Lily's <em>Daily Prophet<em> confirmed her worst fears. Halloween night hadn't been quiet everywhere.

**MYSTERIOUS ATTACK AT HOGSMEADE VILLAGE LEAVES AURORS BAFFLED**

**_Ministry keeping mum over series of break-ins. Magical Law Enforcement has no comment._**

Wordlessly, she stood up and walked to where James sat with his friends. They were laughing about something Sirius had just said. Peter noticed her first. He coughed loudly and shot a significant look at James.

"What's up, Lily?" Peter asked.

James turned around, eyes shining, a lopsided grin in place. She hesitated, knowing that what she was about to show him would wipe that look right off his face. Then she handed him the paper.

The effect was instantaneous. Quickly, he spread the paper out in front of him and began to read.

"I knew it was too good to be true," he muttered, racing to get through the article.

According to the _Prophet_, a group of masked wizards had attacked three of the businesses on High Street in Hogsmeade in the hours before midnight. No one had been killed, but at least ten people had been taken to St. Mungo's. Four were listed in critical condition.

"Those bastards. I knew it. I just—"

He looked up at Lily, and his heart ached at the frozen, horrified look in her eyes. Without thinking, he stood up and took her into his arms. She sank into him, gripping the back of his robes tightly in both fists. Her face pressed into his chest and she let out a deep, shuddering sigh. He could feel wet, warm pinpricks as her tears sank into his robes. She pulled away too soon, eyes red but dry.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, not sure what, exactly, he was apologizing for. She shook her head quickly and sniffed.

"No, I'm sorry. Don't know what came over me." She blinked rapidly and cleared her throat. "Anyway, I just thought you should know. I have to go...get my school bag. Left it in the dorm. Right. See you in class."

She hurried away, her arms wrapped tightly across her chest, schoolbag dangling off one shoulder.

Remus, who had taken the _Prophet_ and begun reading the article while James and Lily were talking, looked up. "I'd wager that this is why Dumbledore isn't at breakfast. Ministry probably got him involved first thing, this happening on Hogwarts doorstep and all."

Sirius and Peter crowded around Remus, scanning the article with uncharacteristically solemn expressions on their faces.

James' stomach felt like lead. Why hadn't he bothered to make sure all the Slytherins were accounted for? How many times had he and the boys snuck out to Hogsmeade and made it back without rousing anyone's concerns? He knew better than anyone how easy it could be with the proper planning. And now all those people had been hurt, and some could even die.

And yet.

A small part of him buzzed with the memory of Lily Evans' arms wrapped around him, the subtle, flowery scent of her perfume tickling his nostrils, her cheek on his chest.

:o:o:o:o:o:o:

Lily hurried through the hallways, not quite sure where she was going. Her heart was heavy, weighted down with the knowledge that someone she used to care about could do something so horrible. The irony was too much. James Potter, the boy she had once hated with an unmatched, fiery passion, had been the one to console her when Snape went on a homicidal rampage.

Well, no, not homicidal. Yet.

She wandered in the direction of the office she shared with James, wondering how much he would mind if she took his Cloak out for a spin. The idea of being able to sit somewhere and not be seen or worried over was terribly tempting.

In the end, though, she decided that the quiet of the Library was what she wanted. To sit in the back of the long, silent room surrounded by the smell of old parchment and leather, staring at the ink spots left by students of a hundred wizarding generations... that sounded perfect.

She found her favorite table, nestled behind the wizarding law statute books that were only unearthed once every few decades by particular ambitious upper form students. No one ever went back there, and she could always count on remaining undisturbed for as long as she wanted. Despite the early hour, that corner of the Library was dim and warm. She settled down into her favorite chair and wrapped her robes tighter around herself, thinking that it would have been better if she had just stayed in bed that morning.

A soft creak startled her from sleep some time later. Her head ached dully and her eyes were puffy. She barely had time to register sharp hunger pains in her stomach when a hand slipped over her mouth. She shrieked and struggled, but an arm anchored her against her chair.

"Shhhh, Lily, it's me. Shhh."

At the sound of Snape's voice, she struggled harder, trying to work open her mouth so she could bite his hand. She heard him sigh.

"Fine, have it your way."

Then she was frozen, her eyelids stuck wide open and arms pinned to her sides. He came around into view and sat next to her, wand drawn.

"I just want to talk."

She couldn't respond, but her eyes stayed fixed on the tip of his wand. Maybe there was some kind of nonverbal spell she could do that would undo the body bind curse and allow her to disarm him. Her stomach turned just thinking about what that wand had done in the previous twenty-four hours.

"I warned you, Lily. I warned you! And still you went out. A part of me knew you wouldn't listen. Still, at least Potter was the one who found us. I'm not sure things wouldn't have gone another way if it had been you."

He stared at her pensively, anguish written all over his face.

"Do you know that I rearranged everything for you? I talked them down from the kind of over-the-top childish display they wanted to put on at school. Hogsmeade was my idea. We had to prove ourselves, you see. It had to be big."

There was a desperate edge to his voice, and he reached out to touch her cheek. She wanted to recoil, spit, do anything to show him how disgusting she thought he was. He sighed again.

"I didn't want to, Lily, but some sacrifices have to be made for the greater good. People need to be scared in order to open their eyes to how the world really works. If you would only listen to me, talk to me, I know I could show you..."

Someone shuffled through the shelves nearby, and Snape stopped talking for a moment, just listening. He raised his wand, ready to strike.

_Please, don't hurt anyone else_, she thought at him. _Don't make this worse._

As if he heard her, he turned his sunken, black eyes back to her. Slowly, he dropped his wand arm to his side.

"I didn't want it to be this way," he said again. He stopped, clearly frustrated by how this was going.

"We all make choices, Lily. We do what we have to in order to get the lives we deserve, and sometimes that requires sacrifices. I can still take care of you. I can protect your family from what's coming. Protect you. He'd see, he'd have to, how important you are, how talented. And if He didn't...well, I'd figure something out. I promise, Lily. You may not like our methods. Sometimes I don't like our methods, either. But the world is changing, and you'd be a fool not to know that. I can save you. All you have to do is let me."

He stood up and leaned in close again, cupping her cheek with a cold, clammy hand. "You don't have to give me your answer now. Think about it. I'll be in touch."

She heard him walk away, and a few minutes after that, the body bind lifted. She fell forward, just managing to catch herself before face-planting into the table. Her heart was racing, and her face flushed with anger. If he thought for one second she would save herself by turning her back on everything she believed in, then he didn't know her at all.

_He'd see, he'd have to, how important you are, how talented._

Sev had been talking about Lord Voldemort; that was the only real possibility. What did he think he was playing at, palling around with someone like that? They were saying the dark wizard was responsible for at least fifty deaths so far, and he was only operating on the fringes of the pureblood mania that had always existed in the wizarding world. With attacks like the one in Hogsmeade becoming more and more common, it was only a matter of time before his body count skyrocketed.

And it was worse, somehow, that her former friend was doing this to get the life he thought he deserved. The boy she had been friends with would never have hurt someone else to get ahead. Or at least she thought he wouldn't. Everything was so confusing; she wasn't sure if that boy had ever really existed.

She looked at her watch. It was nearly noon. She had missed her morning lesson, which she would probably regret in the evening. Still, she thought hopefully, maybe James had notes she could borrow from Transfiguration. The thought was laughable, not because James wouldn't have excellent notes, but because the idea of borrowing notes from Hogwarts' troublemaker in chief would have been preposterous to her six weeks ago.

She grabbed her bag and stumbled out of the Library, trying to ignore the strange looks she got from students who had arrived after her to study during their breaks. A prickling feeling lingered on the back of her neck, as though someone were watching her. But she couldn't see Snape anywhere, so she tried her best to ignore it.

James was sitting in front of the fire in the common room, an open textbook in his lap. He wasn't reading it, though. His eyes were fixed on a spot on the wall, unfocused and dreamy. She sat next to him, and he closed his eyes and smiled.

"Hey, Lily. You weren't in class."

"No."

Something in her voice made him open his eyes and look at her. He took in the guarded, red eyes and the drawn, tired appearance.

"What happened?"

She thought for a moment, and then, with monumental effort, shook her head. It was better if James wasn't involved in the ongoing drama between herself and Snape. He would probably make it worse.

"Nothing. Just upset about Hogsmeade. Has there been any more news?"

He shook his head, fighting the urge to tuck her hair back behind her ear and gather her up in his arms. She looked so worn out. He hoped she had skivved off class for a nap.

"A lot of rumors, mostly. No one seems to have any idea what the real damage is. I've heard everything from the Shrieking Shack being blown up to every patron at the Three Broomsticks being cursed to smithereens. You know how this place is."

"Can I borrow your notes from Transfiguration?"

"Yeah, no problem. I told McGonagall you were sick. She seemed to buy that."

Lily snorted. "McGonagall hasn't ever believed your excuses. Why would she believe this one?"

"I beg your pardon?" James closed his book with a snap and drew himself up tall, looking down at the smiling redhead with a superior sort of frown. "Minerva McGonagall is putty in my hands. She adores me!"

"She tolerates you."

"She thinks I'm funny!"

"She finds your talent in Transfiguration grudgingly acceptable."

He gasped. "You take that back! I have never in my life scored an Acceptable in Transfiguration! I'll have you know I got an 'O' on my O.W.L., and between you and me, Minnie has practically promised me an 'O' on the N.E.W.T.!"

Lily choked on her laughter. "Minnie?"

"That's right. We have a very special bond."

"Merlin, Prongs, are you waxing poetic about McGonagall again? Give it a rest, mate, she's never going to marry you."

Sirius dropped into the empty space next to Lily, forcing her closer to James.

"I bet you didn't know that there was another woman, did you, Lily?" Sirius continued. Her cheeks flushed and James gave his friend a warning glare, but Sirius continued blithely.

"I expect it's because he's always fancied the older women."

"Padfoot."

"There was that time when we were twelve, Karen Digsby. Remember her, Prongs? Legs for days, even at the ripe old age of 14. Turned into a bit of a stunner as I recall."

"Sirius!"

"Donna Elridge, summer after fourth year. She was a sixth year at Beauxbatons, but you'd never know it to talk to her. The girl's French accent was atrocious."

"Lily, this is total bullocks," James said, still glaring at Sirius. "I don't even remember what he's talking about."

Sirius grinned gleefully and opened his mouth to continue, but Lily stood up abruptly, cheeks burning faintly in the firelight.

"I don't know what you're on about, Sirius, but I really have too much to do to figure it out. James, I'll get those notes from you later. I have to finish that Charms essay Flitwick set out for us, and I can't miss Potions this afternoon."

She rushed up the stairs to her dormitory and never looked back.

James reached over and slugged his friend right in the stomach. Sirius swore and swung back, and in a minute, they had wrestled off the couch and onto the stone floor. James got another good punch in before pulling away and rubbing at his eye.

"What was that for?" Sirius raised his eyebrows and frowned innocently. "I was just making conversation."

"You're a git. Making conversation, my arse. We were having a—a _moment_. I ought to hex you."

"A _moment_? Sounds like you've already been hexed, mate. Take it from me, that bird isn't worth it. Did you see how high and mighty she got when I mentioned your other girlfriends?"

James stood up, grabbing his book and bag quickly. "Making jokes about McGonagall is one thing. But I kissed Karen on a dare. Your dare, if I remember it right. And Donna is a friend of my _parents_ and stayed with us for the summer with _her_ parents. I only spent time with her when forced and you were there for most of it! Honestly, Padfoot, what is your problem?"

"Problem?" Sirius said airily. "No problem. You're the one with your pants twisted up your bum."

With another weighty glare, James left the common room and headed for his office, hoping to take refuge there and put his head on straight before Potions. Sirius watched him go.

"I'm not the problem here," he muttered quietly, kicking his feet up in front of the fire and leaning his head back against a nearby armchair.

:o:o:o:o:o:o:

Lily collapsed onto her bed, grateful that none of her roommates were present. Her mind was racing, but she wasn't happy with any of the possible subjects at hand. Then her eyes fell upon the rolled up parchment she had taken from James the night before. Tee's letter! An excellent distraction.

She unrolled it with a happy little sigh, sure that Tee was about to impart some awe-inspiring wisdom that would fix her problems and make James easier to deal with.

_Dear Future Head Girl_,

_Welcome to Hell._

Lily frowned. And re-read. No, she had read that correctly. She began again.

_Welcome to Hell. As you've no doubt already realized, this job is a constant race against the clock. It requires dedication, determination, and focus like you would not believe. Don't let anything get in your way. The only way you're going to survive this year is by sheer force of will. I don't care if you're top of your class or never had to study before in your life, the responsibilities of being Head will trump all that and leave you spinning._

"Nice one, Tee, don't lay it on thick or anything," Lily muttered.

_I hope your Head Boy is just as dedicated as you, and not as handsome as Gideon. Yes, I said handsome. _

Lily's pulse began to race.

_Don't go getting any romantic notions. I'll tell you right now, it is a Bad Idea, getting involved with your fellow Head. It may seem perfect. You're alone in the office, maybe studying late after patrols. You're always together. He sees you more than his girlfriend, knows you better than his own sister. Why wouldn't you be perfect together? _

"Yeah, why not?" Tee was giving voice to the forbidden thoughts Lily had been having for weeks, painting the vivid details she had been trying to ignore every time they were alone together.

_I'll tell you why. Because when it all goes sour, you'll have no one to rely on. No matter how perfect you think that romance might be, it is no substitute for a reliable partnership. Remember what I said earlier about this year being Hell? I meant it. And you don't want to go through Hell alone._

A weight settled into Lily's stomach.

_I know this probably isn't the advice that you expected, but its the advice I wish that someone had given me._

_Don't fall in love with the Head Boy._

_Now that I've got that out of the way, let's talk Prefect management._

But Lily couldn't concentrate on the rest of the letter. One thing was for sure: Potter was never going to see Tee's letter. Ever.

_Don't fall in love with the Head Boy._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading!**


	11. Chapter 11

**J.K. Rowing owns the HP universe. I'm just playing in her sandbox.**

* * *

><p>In the days that followed, Lily found it easier than she had imagined to avoid her increasingly confusing feelings for James. Not only were their professors piling on work, but James was gearing up for the first match of the season, Gryffindor vs. Slytherin. The rivalry between the two houses was enough to keep the Head Boy and Captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team completely engrossed.<p>

The only time things got difficult was when they studied together. When the other seventh year Prefects were present, it wasn't such a big deal, but alone in the Head's office, Lily often felt a prickling, creeping tension beneath every interaction. She avoided touching him at all costs and tried to keep her instruction as impersonal as possible. She knew her behavior bordered on rudeness, but every time she felt herself relax just a little in his presence, Tee's advice about maintaining an effective partnership blazed back into her mind.

_Don't fall in love with the Head Boy._

Lily found herself wondering if anything had happened between the Tee and Gideon, or whether it was all one-sided for the former Head Girl. It would be terrible, working with someone every day who you desperately loved, to know you couldn't tell him because it would ruin everything. The irony of this line of thought was not lost on Lily.

Snape continued to lurk around her, always appearing at a distance. He did not approach her again, but she was constantly on edge, waiting for him to make good on his promise and come for her answer. Perhaps he realized that she hadn't reacted favorably to his offer. Maybe he knew that she was planning to hex him into the New Year if he promised protection in exchange for her love and loyalty again. Whatever the reason, he stayed just close enough to keep her always on her guard.

At first, James chalked her new coldness up to the attack on Hogsmeade. He had written to his father immediately, but received a vague and unsatisfying answer in return.

_I have told you before, James, that when the Auror Department needs the assistance of a seventeen-year-old boy, you'll be the first to know. For now, concentrate on your studies. You're safe at Hogwarts._

Mr. Potter hadn't responded to James' insistence that the perpetrators of the crime were students at Hogwarts. He had moved on to news from home, sending Mrs. Potter's love to her son and his friends and inquiring about "that redheaded girl." Mrs. Potter's letters were no different, although she did ask that James try to keep out of trouble, because Mr. Potter had quite enough on his plate at work without worrying about his son as well.

After a while, however, James couldn't keep making excuses for Lily's behavior. Something had changed, and there was a new distance in the way she spoke to him, and even to his friends.

"Women," Sirius said one evening after James had come back to their room complaining again. "What can you do? That's why I never go out on second dates."

"Is that why?" Remus asked mildly, looking up from his novel. "I thought it was because once the girls see that you're actually as crass as you seem, they're not interested in a second go."

"I thought it was because you were a lousy shag," Peter added, grinning.

"When did this become pick on Padfoot day?" Sirius sputtered indignantly. "I'll have you know, Wormtail, that I am an excellent shag. Girls boast to their friends and relatives once they've been in a broom closet with me."

"Right after they visit the healer to make sure you haven't passed along anything contagious," James added.

"This is what I get for trying to be helpful! Well, fine, but don't come crying to me with your women troubles." Sirius closed his curtains with a sharp blast from his wand, leaving his roommates to dissolve in laughter.

"I don't recall anyone asking for your advice," James called. A loud harumph was the only answer he got.

"Have you tried talking to her about it?" Remus asked. "Lily's usually pretty straight-forward. She's never had a difficult time telling you where to shove it before. Seems like directness is your best bet."

"You'd think that wouldn't you?" mused James. "She's been very evasive lately, though. Won't talk about anything but school, Head duties, or the occasional side comment about quidditch, if I bring it up."

"What's the worst that could happen?" Remus grinned. "She's already tried just about every hex she knows on you."

This was sensible advice, but with the pending match between Gryffindor and Slytherin, James couldn't find any time to sit down and have an actual conversation with Lily. They passed in the hallways and exchanged brief, quickly jotted notes about Prefect rotations, patrols, student complaints, and teacher feedback. Their study sessions were tense, silent affairs in the week before the match. Both of them struggled quietly with their own problems, neither daring to turn to the other for help or comfort: Lily because she didn't want to find herself even more invested in her relationship with James, and James because he didn't want to risk a major emotional blow-up right before the match.

The morning of the Gryffindor/Slytherin game, the ceiling of the Great Hall was overcast, and no sunshine peeked through the steel grey clouds above. James' stomach was in knots, but that was normal. The tension and excitement that surrounded every quidditch match made it impossible for him to eat anything until the game had been called, to the point where he almost always associated the gnawing feeling of having missed breakfast with the swooping, soaring feeling of racing through the air on his broomstick.

His team was ready and chomping at the bit to get Slytherin back for their defeat the previous school year. Dorcas, the only other seventh year on the team, clapped James on the back when she arrived at breakfast.

"We've got them this year, James. All their decent players graduated last year, and their new captain, Brody Bulstrode, is an idiot. He doesn't have any other strategy besides putting the biggest, meanest blokes on brooms that he can find."

"Even if he has come up with something," Annalise Meachum, a fifth year and one of the Gryffindor beaters, added, "we've been practicing day and night. We're a better team than they can hope to be by the end of the season, and it's only November."

More people gathered around James, offering bits of advice. After about ten minutes, Sirius looked up from his toast.

"Hey, you lot! Anyone without a shiny Captain's badge on their chest should leave the strategizing to the experts. You can congratulate him at the after party, got it? Shove off!"

James smiled gratefully at his best friend as the crowd dispersed. "Thanks, mate."

"Being friends with you can be a real trial some days," Sirius answered with a grin. "You need a bodyguard to chase off the crowds of admirers."

"Oh, that's just what he needs. Someone else to inflate his ego." Lily dropped into the open seat next to Peter and wrinkled her nose.

"It's a good thing you're always around to deflate it back to a more manageable size, Evans." James smiled at her, hoping for some kind of a positive reaction. She didn't look up at him, but he thought he saw her cheeks flush ever so slightly. Even that was enough to buoy him.

"Well, can't be late for my own pep talk." He stood up and slapped Remus on the back, grinning at a passing fourth year girl, who giggled and sped up to whisper to her friends. "See you gents after? You, too, Head Girl. I know you don't patrol tonight, so you can play chaperone at our victory party."

Without waiting for a response, he jogged off, waving to Gryffindors here and there.

Lily watched him go, shaking her head. "Just when I think he's different...he goes and reminds me just how much he's still the same."

Peter heard the muttered comment and laughed. "If you think James is the same person he was a year ago, or even two, you haven't been paying attention."

"I'd have to disagree with you, Pete. James is the same as he's always been. No changing him," Sirius put in. "I think our dear Evans here is just starting to cotton on to his more admirable qualities. Pure in heart and all that."

"I thought Gryffindor was brave at heart," Remus said, grinning. "I'd say you're both right. James is still James just...grown up."

Sirius shuddered dramatically. "Don't even say those words around me. It might be catching."

"Don't worry, Padfoot." Remus patted his head patronizingly. "I very much doubt you'll ever grow up."

Sirius raised his glass of pumpkin juice in a toast. "Here's to that!"

:o:o:o:o:o:o:

Lily's roommates joined her at the pitch, and they crowded in next to the Marauders, who were passing a flask back and forth as they waited for the game to start.

"What is that?" Lily asked, eyeing the small bottle suspiciously. A thin tendril of smoke escaped out the top of the flask as Sirius took a swig.

"Pepper-up potion," Remus said, arranging his face into a practiced, innocent expression. "It's nippy out here, can't expect us to freeze to death waiting for Gryffindor to win, can you?"

"Ohh, I'll take some of that," Marlene said. She reached over Lily and snatched the flask out of Sirius' hands, ignoring his loud protests. She tipped it back and took a long drag. "Lovely. It's just pepper-up potion, Little Miss Head Girl, calm down."

Lily sighed and turned her attention back to the field, missing the wink that Marlene sent to Sirius. He grinned and gave her a thumbs up.

It was a tense game, and one that kept the Gryffindor fans on their feet more often than not. Even Professor McGonagall was noticeably anxious as the Gryffindor and Slytherin chasers traded point for point. After two hours, the energy on the field began to lag. Neither seeker had even hinted at a snitch capture.

Gryffindor was down 120 to 130 when it started to rain. Icy drops soaked into the players' uniforms, scarlet deepening into blood red.

"Come on, Lions!" Lily yelled, watching as James, Dorcas, and Adam McKinnon, Marlene's younger brother, tossed the quaffle back and forth. A bludger narrowly missed James' head and Gryffindor voices raised in anger as a loud cheer went up among the Slytherins. Lily grabbed Sirius' arm and squeezed tight, ignoring his grunt of pain.

Annalise Meachum batted the offending bludger back toward the Slytherin keeper just as James sent the quaffle flying at the center hoop. Forced to choose between getting knocked off his broom and blocking the goal, Brody Bulstrode swerved and James scored, the ball sailing easily through the hoop.

Lily screamed with the rest of her classmates, and at the sound of his name, James turned toward the stands and did a spiral in the air, waving to the crowd. He spotted Lily cheering with the rest and his mood soared.

"Focus, Potter," he said aloud, turning his broom to face the pitch once more. Just then, Jenny Pradt, the fourth year he had drafted the previous season to play seeker, took off like a rocket.

"Pradt has spotted the snitch!" Jeremy Wilkins was commentating, and while the sixth year Ravenclaw had been mostly fair to both sides, the excitement in his voice was unmistakable. Ravenclaw had also been beaten rather badly by Slytherin the previous season, and they were desperate for revenge. "Greenglass is on her tail, but the Cleansweep 3 just doesn't hold a candle to Pradt's brand new Silver Arrow!"

A second later, Jenny's hand grasped the golden snitch, and the entire pitch erupted in screams and boos.

"Pradt has caught the snitch! Pradt has caught the snitch! Gryffindor defeats Slytherin, 280 to 130!"

"Thank Godric for that," Peter shouted gleefully. "It would have been much less fun to drink all that firewhiskey at a 'sorry you lost' party than a victory party."

"What about firewhiskey?" Lily said, but her question was lost in the roar of the crowd. As they filed down the rickety wooden steps that lead to the pitch, Alice grabbed her arm.

"You're not going to be on duty tonight, are you? Because I was thinking it would be fun to actually do a little drinking with the boys and it would be reeeeally nice if you didn't turn us all in for detention."

If Sirius had delivered that line, Lily would have bristled and barked something about how it would be really nice if he didn't make her turn them in for detention quite so often. But Alice didn't join in the debauchery frequently, and Lily was already kind of looking forward to the festivities. She threaded her arm through Alice's and sighed.

"I suppose that on this _one_ occasion I can look the other way. But you owe me. And I better hear that someone caught you and Frank Longbottom snogging behind that tapestry of Wendelin the Weird on the fourth floor."

Alice flushed. "I don't know about that, but I promise to owe you a favor."

"Better be careful about owing Evans here anything." James appeared next to them, soaked through but looking in high spirits. "She'll probably make you do lines or something just for the fun of it."

"That sounds like something that I would only do to you, Potter." Despite her severe tone, Lily grinned up at him, and didn't protest when he dropped an arm over her shoulder.

"Oh, so it's Potter again?"

"You called me Evans first!"

"Yes, but that's different."

"How? How is that different?"

"Oh, look! Padfoot's here. See you later, Evans."

Before she could respond, he swooped in and dropped a quick peck on her cheek. Then he dropped his arm and dashed ahead, tackling Sirius from behind.

Lily's face froze in shock, and the only thing that kept her moving was Alice's persistent hold on her arm. All around her, students chattered and her friends were planning the party that would rock Gryffindor tower that night.

But the only thing that Lily could feel was the burning spot on her cheek where James Potter had kissed her. She struggled to keep from touching it. He had branded her, and then walked away like he didn't even care.

_Don't fall in love with the Head Boy._

As she watched him clowning around with his friends, she sighed and experienced a now-familiar sinking feeling.

_Too late._

:o:o:o:o:o:o:

James was flying. They had beaten Slytherin, albeit by a narrow margin. His friends had filched food from the kitchen ahead of time, and they had plenty to drink thanks to the pretty young barmaid at the Three Broomsticks. Rosmerta had a soft spot for the four boys, and even though the pub was a popular spot for teachers in the evenings, she had never revealed that the Marauders frequented the village when they were supposed to be locked up in the castle.

But none of that came close to the euphoria he felt at having finally, after years of failed attempts, managed to kiss Lily Evans. And she hadn't even hexed him for it! He chanced a peek over his shoulder, pretending to look for Peter, who had gotten separated from them in the crowd. There she was, still walking alongside Alice Fortescue, red cheeked and looking slightly dazed. He grinned and turned back around. Who needed conversation when a little impulsivity yielded such great results?

"I'm telling you, boys, I feel like a million galleons right now. I can do anything!"

Sirius laughed. "Anything? That sounds like a challenge, doesn't it, Moony?"

Remus nodded, his face flushed from a few too many nips from the flask. "Def-definitely a challenge. Make it good, Padfoot."

Sirius rubbed his hands together, surveying the milling students around him with glee. They were walking past the lake, it's waters murky and choppy in the continuing rain. A lazy tentacle extended upwards into the rain from the center of the lake, the only sign of the grounds' biggest inhabitant.

"What's that Evans always used to say to you? She'd rather go out with the giant squid?"

James frowned. "So? She hasn't said that in ages. We're...friends now."

Sirius hiccuped and watched the giant squid wave its tentacle in the rain. "I just thought you should meet your rival face to face. You can do anything, right? Go touch the giant squid! He's right there."

James started to come down from his euphoria. He eyed Sirius warily. "Jump in the lake? In this weather?"

"Oooh, is Prongsie scared of a widdle rain?" Sirius nudged Remus, who snorted and took another drink from the flask. Peter emerged from the crowd just then, looking as if he had been trampled by two dozen students on his way out of the stadium.

"I know that I'm not the tallest bloke in school, but I swear sometimes people go out of the way to shove me the ground." His robes were mud splattered and nearly as wet as James', but he was grinning. "What'd I miss?"

"Prongs is about to jump in the lake and shake hands with the giant squid," Remus slurred.

"Excellent!" Peter clapped and looked eagerly at James. "Er...why, exactly?"

"Didn't you know? He can do anything. Told me so himself." Sirius was giggling drunkenly now, his voice raised above the chatter of the crowd. Here and there people had stopped to watch the exchange, including Lily and Alice. James was acutely aware of Lily's eyes on him. He drew himself up and took a deep breath, feeling another jolt of adrenaline as he remembered his lips on her smooth, soft skin.

"Why not?" he said cheerily, dropping his broomstick and stripping off his gloves. "I always did like a nice dip after a workout."

More and more students were stopping now, watching in fascination as James took off his uniform and got down to a pair of athletic shorts and a tank top. Lily pushed forward to where the seventh year Gryffindor boys stood. Frank had emerged from the crowd to join them in cheering on James.

"What in Godric's name is he doing?" she demanded, tugging on Remus' arm furiously.

"Just dropping by for a chat with the squid. No big deal, Lily." He laughed at the horrified look on her face.

"This time of year? He'll catch his death of cold!"

"Worried about him? That's so sweet," Peter clapped her on the back. "He'll be touched."

James was wading into the shallows. The icy water stabbed at him, but he forced himself forward. Just to show he was unphased, he turned and gave a jaunty wave to the watching students, blinking rapidly against the rain. It was falling heavier now, making it harder to see. He made sure his glasses were still secured with the temporary sticking charm he applied before the game, then wiped at the lenses with one hand.

"Just fancied a swim!" he called.

"He's bonkers," Lily muttered, her hand still gripping Remus' arm. "Completely bonkers."

Deciding that it would be easier to just take the plunge, James took a deep breath and dove into the water, dunking his body completely and swimming a quickly as he could to the center of the lake. Sensing an intruder, the giant squid withdrew from the surface, shooting downward into the black depths.

"It ran away!" James shouted, treading near the place where they had spotted the squid.

"Are you going to let a thing like that stop you?" Sirius hollered back. The other Gryffindor boys laughed, but Lily was speechless with rage.

"You'll freeze to death, James Potter! Or worse! Get back here right now!" She stomped her foot.

James didn't hear either one of them from his spot in the middle of the lake, but he could see he had Lily's rapt attention. The cold was seeping into his skin now, and his feet and hands had gone numb. He waved, kicking and sputtering a little when it caused him to sink beneath the waves. Then, steeling himself for another dip, he dived down into the water in search of the giant squid.

On the shore, Lily watched with her heart in her throat. "This is insane. He didn't do a bubblehead charm or anything! What is he thinking?"

No one else seemed concerned. Most of the watching students were still chatting excitedly about the game, and all of them seemed confident that James' stunt was harmless. Certainly no one batted an eye when he failed to surface after thirty seconds. Then a full minute passed.

"Where is he? He's been down a long time, hasn't he?" Lily scanned the surface of the lake frantically, looking for some sign of life.

Remus frowned. "He has, a bit."

He turned to Sirius. "'S been down a long time."

Sirius turned away from Marlene, who was hanging on his arm. "Eh?"

"You're all useless," Lily raged, throwing off her scarf and robe. "He could be drowning and you're standing here half drunk and distracted."

Alice grabbed her arm as she struggled to shrug off her jumper. "Lily, what on earth are you doing?"

"I'm a better swimmer than any of you," she snapped. "And I'm not going to stand by while that prat drowns himself in search of the giant squid. Let _go_, Alice, I mean it!"

She wrenched her arm free and ran into the lake, hurriedly casting a bubblehead charm as she went. She knew there was spell to keep her dry underwater, but in her fear, she couldn't remember the words. She'd have to risk it.

"If we both don't get hypothermia and die," she muttered furiously as she swam out to the spot where James had gone under, "I will kill that boy."

It was impossible to see under the waves, but Lily was able to gain limited visibility by lighting her wand tip. She pushed deeper, doing slow circles and keeping an eye out for some sign that James had passed that way. He had been underwater for nearly two minutes. Her stomach churned with fear.

Finally, she saw something...her wand light glinted against something just below her. She got closer and recognized James' glasses, still on his face. His eyes were closed and his skin was green and ghostly in the murky water. A grindelow dangled off his right arm, tugging him toward deeper waters.

She acted quickly, blasting the creature with a stunning spell and hooking her arm around his waist as soon as it let go. She kick frantically for the surface, the boy nothing but deadweight in her arms. It was slow going, but the water helped buoy him a little as they neared the surface. Finally, they popped up like a cork, exploding out of the water with a crash. A cheer went up among the students on the shore.

Slowly, Lily towed him toward land, stopping frequently. Her face was numb and her skin had broken out in goosebumps. She was so cold that her teeth didn't stop chattering from the second she popped her bubblehead, but James looked even worse. His lips were blue and she couldn't tell if he was breathing. Her heart was pounding with dread. She wished she could remember some sort of useful first aid charm, but her mind had gone completely blank. All she could do was keep moving.

When she got close enough to shore she ran out, pulling him out after her by his arms. She could see bruises and cuts left by the grindelow. By the time they reached land, Remus and Sirius had realized the severity of the situation and sprang into action. Within moments, James was vomiting lake water onto the wet, coarse sand on the small beach. Alice cast a warming spell over both of them, blasting them with hot air until they were dry.

Marlene and Mary wrapped Lily in their cloaks after wrestling her back into her jumper.

"You're a hero, Head Girl," Mary said cheerfully, but her eyes were wide with fear. "We thought we'd lost both of you."

James was still mostly unresponsive, although he had opened his eyes and muttered Lily's name once or twice. The other Gryffindor boys had sobered up quickly upon seeing him half-drowned, and they worked together to check his vital signs and put him back together. Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, this was not James' first brush with death, and the Marauders were used to performing healing spells unsupervised.

Dorcas tried to lead Lily back to the castle, but she wouldn't budge, her eyes fixed on James' pale face. "Not until that git wakes up."

Alice wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "He's going to be okay, Lily. I promise."

At her friend's gentle words, Lily's eyes filled with tears. _I will not cry_, she thought furiously. _Not over Potter._

But then his eyes fluttered open and he struggled into a sitting position, looking dazed and ill but very much alive, and she couldn't stop the flow of hot tears down her face. Wriggling free of Alice's grip, she pushed her way past his friends and knelt down next to him.

James grinned weakly up at her, taking in her red eyes and tears.

"All right, Evans?"

And then she slapped him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading! Lots of new alerts since the last update, I am flattered and so excited to have you join me :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**J.K. Rowling owns all this wonderful stuff. I'm just playing in her sandbox**

* * *

><p>It took the watching Gryffindors a moment to react and pull Lily off of James. Even then, as Mary and Dorcas each held one arm, she struggled, kicking and flailing with all her might.<p>

"You absolute _git_!" she yelled. "You could have died! You never think of anyone but yourself!"

Sirius, Remus, and Peter looked on, shell-shocked, as the redheaded girl ranted and railed against their friend, all the while struggling to break free so she could continue to beat him. Sirius' mouth hung open, his jaw slack.

"-didn't even occur to you there might be dark creatures in that lake!"

"Erm, Lily?" James tried to interrupt, but she was on a roll, eyes blazing. He stared at her, marveling that she had the energy to throw such a fit even after single-handedly rescuing a boy twice her size from drowning.

"Have you ever even learned how to swim properly? Just thought you'd wing it, I suppose! And of all the days to go charging into the deep end of the lake, you pick a blustery day where the lake temperature is near freezing! You would have deserved to die! "

She collapsed, apparently exhausted, panting but no less furious than before. Bright red spots stood out on her pale cheeks.

James rolled up onto his knees, crawling toward her slowly.

"Are you done?" he asked gently. She just glared.

"I'm sorry I frightened you."

She sputtered, clearly objecting to this characterization, but he stopped any further tirade by gently laying a hand on hers. The feeling of his fingertips brushing over her bare skin made her shiver, and a new batch of goose bumps spread over her arms.

"It was stupid," he continued. "I wasn't planning on going for a deep dive; that's why I didn't prepare better. Then that grindelow got a hold of me and I couldn't get to my wand and I guess I just panicked."

He spoke softly, as if to a wild animal. The burning feeling returned to Lily's eyes, and she could feel more tears collecting there. He sensed victory was within his grasp.

"Thank you for rescuing me. You're my witch in shining armor."

She burst into tears, and this time Mary and Dorcas let her go when she tried to pull away. She threw her arms around his neck, bawling.

"Never do anything like that again," she ground out, hating herself for clinging to him but not being able to stop. "Do you hear me? Never."

He allowed himself a small moment to savor the victory, and then happily replied. "Never."

:o:o:o:o:o:

Despite the scene at the lake, or perhaps because of it, the party started earlier than anyone anticipated. If there was one house in the school that knew how to celebrate a thrilling act of bravery, it was Gryffindor, and so it happened that Lily and James found themselves sharing the spotlight.

"I was really impressed with how calm you were through the whole thing, Lily." Oscar Kearney leaned in close to refill her drink, flashing an alluring smile. He was a handsome boy, and most of the sixth year girls were wild for him. "Have you considered Healing after school? You have the presence of mind for it."

He delivered the compliment smoothly, staring deep into her eyes, but it was all she could do to stop herself from laughing in his face.

"Not really," she answered honestly. "To tell you the truth, I was so scared I couldn't remember any of the healing charms we learned in first aid last year. I was lucky the boys were waiting with cooler heads."

Her eyes drifted across the room, seeking out James' lanky form. He was standing by the fire, surrounded by a crowd and talking animatedly about the game. As if on cue, all the girls within earshot of him laughed at once. Lily sighed inwardly and directed her attention back to Oscar, who was still talking.

"Slughorn is always talking you up in Potions. He says you're the most gifted Muggleborn he's ever taught."

Oscar's words sounded complimentary, but they left a bad taste in her mouth. Somewhere in the room, a radio blasted a popular song by the Cornish Pixies, and Lily cut him off before he could continue.

"Do you want to dance?"

Oscar stared at her blankly for a moment, mouth still half-open. Then her words seemed to register with him, and he grinned.

"Absolutely."

James watched Lily out of the corner of his eye as she was approached again and again by male admirers. He started to go over to her several times, but each time he was stopped by another group of people eager to hear about his plans for the rest of the season. He had been talking to a group of fourth year girls about the same play for nearly fifteen minutes when Lily joined Oscar on the dance floor.

"When you took that shot from fifty meters, I couldn't believe it," Rowena Jackson simpered, putting her hand on his arm. James sighed and looked down at her.

"Right, well, I'm pretty unbelievable." He made eye contact with Sirius and jerked his head, beckoning his friend over.

"Sirius here can tell you all about it." James deftly sidestepped the younger girl and slapped Sirius on the back. "I owe you," he muttered in Sirius' ear as he stepped away.

"When do you not?" Sirius replied, just as quietly. "Pretty girls are my specialty, you know," he said to Rowena, slinging his arm over her shoulders and pulling her in close. She giggled and James sighed gratefully, clearing the girls and edging around the room toward where Remus was tending bar.

"You look like you could use a piece of treacle tart," he said when James approached. Following James' gaze to wear Lily was swinging her hips on the dance floor and laughing with Oscar, Remus nodded sagely. "Or maybe a firewhiskey."

"Make it a double."

James eyed the deep red liquor as it filled the tumbler. He hadn't been drinking much, foolishly hoping that their interactions earlier in the day would make Lily putty in his hands. He didn't want to be drunk for the moment when she finally realized how much she loved him.

These were thoughts he hadn't let himself dwell on in a long time, and the realization that nothing had changed, despite their friendship and her obvious feelings towards him, filled him with despair. He steeled himself and drank deeply, then slammed the glass down in front of Remus once more.

"Again."

His friend's eyebrows drew together in concern, and he opened his mouth.

"Unless you're about to tell me you have something stronger, shut up and pour, Moony."

Reluctantly, Remus lowered the bottle again. "You know, you still haven't really talked to her."

James ignored him and threw back the drink. "Again."

"No."

He made to grab for the bottle, but Remus held it out of reach.

"Moony," James whined.

"You know how you get when you're plastered, Prongs. I'm not saying you can't drink, just...pace yourself."

James slumped against the table serving as a makeshift bar and glared back at Sirius, who was now educating Rowena on the finer points of snogging.

"How does he do that? Every bloody time."

Remus rolled his eyes. "He finds a girl who thinks he's fit and then flatters her until she agrees to fool around. That's not what you're after."

"It could be," James said sullenly, still watching his friend.

"No, it really couldn't. You're so hung up on Lily that any girl with brains would see it from a mile away."

"Easy solution. I'll find one without a brain."

"Right because _that's_ better. Look, Lily's obviously having a miserable time with Kearney. Go make your move. Just talk to her; she'll thank you for it, I promise."

James swiveled his head blearily back toward the dance floor, and noted with pleasure that Remus was right. While they were still dancing, Lily was staring vacantly around the room, clearly bored with her companion. Every time Oscar turned to look at her, she'd smile unconvincingly, then go right back to looking like she'd rather be just about anywhere else.

"You think so?"

She sighed and looked toward the bar, and as soon as her eyes fell on him, she smiled. James noted with distinct pleasure that there was nothing unconvincing about the way she looked at _him_. He grinned back and she laughed, shaking her head and turning back to Oscar, who had started talking again.

"I think you have your answer," Remus said, nudging his shoulder. "What are you waiting for?"

James pushed his way onto the dance floor, weaving through couples and pushing aside a few overly enthusiastic third year boys who looked more like they were having seizures than performing any kind of recognizable dance moves.

"Evening, Evans," he called once he was in earshot. "Kearney."

Oscar turned around and frowned at James. "Potter. Anything I can help you with?"

James cocked his head and examined the younger boy. He supposed he could see what the girls liked about him, but he was altogether too buttoned up and proper for a girl like Lily.

"No, actually I was looking for Evans here."

Oscar pulled himself up to his full height, which was still several inches shorter than James. "We're a bit busy. Can't it wait?"

"'Fraid not." James made a sad, tsking sound with his tongue and winked at Lily. "Official Head business. You wouldn't understand. Top priority."

Before he could object further, James offered his arm to Lily.

"Sorry, Oscar," she said cheerily. "Duty calls."

Once they were out of earshot, she sighed gratefully. "Thank you. Really, you have no idea."

He chanced a peek over his shoulder and saw Oscar glowering at them. "Dodged a bullet with that one, Evans. I hear he snogs like a fish."

She punched his arm. "I wasn't planning on snogging him."

"That's a relief. You could do much better."

There was a pause while Lily wondered if he would say what she was sure they both were thinking.

"I was actually just checking to see if you were doing okay. You haven't been yourself lately."

The abrupt subject change threw Lily, and she realized she was disappointed that he wasn't flirting with her anymore. She let go of his arm and sighed.

"Yeah, well...with N.E.W.T.'s, everything going on over Halloween, the holidays coming up...I guess I've been a bit overwhelmed." _And I think I'm falling in love with you, so that hasn't helped._ She tried to keep her voice as steady as possible, but she was sure he could hear it shaking.

"Why are the holidays stressful?" James looked down at her, realizing that he knew very little about her home or family. He had gathered that she had a sister, older, he thought, and he knew her parents on sight thanks to years of run-in's at Platform 9 3/4. But other than that, he knew precious little about her life in the Muggle world.

"My sister and I don't really get on at the moment. Haven't for years, really. And she's engaged and getting married this summer, so there will probably be a lot of hubbub about the wedding. Her fiance is a bore, and at last check he had no idea I was a witch. So that's fantastic. No magic, even though I'm of age. My parents will probably make me lock up my spellbooks and wand just to keep the peace."

James stared at her. "I thought all birds loved weddings. Isn't it in your basic, girly make-up? And where does he think you go all year if not to Hogwarts?"

"I don't know." She shrugged uneasily, vaguely uncomfortable sharing such personal details with James, but surprised at how good it felt to voice them to someone. "Petunia has made it pretty clear that she doesn't want me to have anything to do with her big day. She only asked me to give a reading because our mum forced her."

"Oh, I'm sure-"

"I heard them arguing about it last summer. It was a couple of weeks before the end of holidays. They had this huge, horrible fight and Mum basically threatened her into it. Said that we're family, and when she and Dad are gone we'll only have each other to rely on."

James frowned. "Seems a bit grim."

"She's right, though. Petunia's all I've got. Both my parents were only children and all my grandparents are dead. And she despises me."

"I'm an only child," James offered. They sat down near the fire. Around them, the party raged on, but for the moment no one seemed to be looking for them. In their corner of the room, all was quiet and peaceful. "My parents are both really old, too. I don't know what I'll do if they ever die."

Lily looked at him oddly. "How old are they?"

"They're in their seventies. And my dad is Head of the Auror Department at the Ministry, which isn't exactly an easy-going sort of job. Sometimes I worry about him. He works too hard, and my mum...well, she isn't what I would call frail." He grinned. "In fact she'd probably box my ears if she heard me say that. But she's been sick on and off for the last couple of years."

"James..." Lily looked up at him, at a loss for words. For years she thought she knew him so well, but it turned out she had no idea. His eyes were soft and open, as if he was willing to tell her anything, if only she asked. She wished she knew the right question. Finally she said, "I'm sorry. I didn't know any of that."

He shrugged and smiled, breaking eye contact. The moment passed. "It's all right. I didn't know any of that stuff you told me, either. It's amazing how much you miss, living side by side with someone for seven years."

Lily didn't miss the hidden meaning in his words, and she swallowed hard against a sudden lump in her throat. He was giving her an opening, if only she was brave enough to take it.

"I need a drink," she said quickly, standing up and moving out of the firelight. Without saying goodbye, she fled for the bar.

Peter joined James not long after she left. "You just lost me a galleon. I bet Sirius she'd kiss you before the night was over."

"Night's not over yet, Wormtail."

"It is for you two." The smaller boy gestured to the stairway leading to the girls' dormitory, and James saw a flash of red hair disappear into the gloom. He sighed deeply.

"What else were you two betting?"

"Sirius bet me a sickle she'd hex you before the holidays."

"You must like giving him your money."

:o:o:o:o:o:o:

Once she reached her room, Lily ran to the window and threw open the sash, letting the cold November air pour into the room. Her cheeks were burning, and she wasn't sure if it was because of the alcohol, James, or some unholy combination of the two. He had looked at her as if he could see right through her. The only other person who had ever looked at her like that was Dumbledore, and it wasn't the same thing at all.

"Knock, knock."

Mary stood in the doorway, arms crossed against the cold. "Can I come in?"

Lily smiled wearily. "It's your room, too. Of course."

She walked across the room and sat down next to Lily on the bench at the window.

"You left pretty quickly."

Lily squirmed. "I guess I just didn't feel like partying. I'm tired. Potter isn't exactly a lightweight."

The joke fell flat, and Mary gave her an appraising look.

"You know, you may fool a lot of people, but you don't fool me, Lily Evans."

"Excuse me?" Her heart started to pound, but she forced her face to remain neutral.

"I won't tell anyone. If it makes you feel any better, I don't think anyone would believe me if I did. Except maybe Alice, but then, you've probably told her everything."

"What are you on about, Mary?"

"You want me to spell it out for you? Fine. You fancy James Potter, and you have no idea what to do about it."

Lily stared at her, heart in her throat. The words floated there between them, taking up space, breathing her air. She didn't know what to say. Finally, she gave a barely perceptible nod. Mary's face split into a wide grin.

"I think it's splendid. Plus it's good for you to be thrown off balance now and then."

"Off balance is one way of putting it."

Mary patted her knee. "He'd be good for you, you know. We all think so."

"What does 'we all' mean?" Lily spat, outraged. "Are you all just sitting around chatting about my love life now?"

"What love life?" Mary rolled her eyes. "No, no one has said anything about it in ages. But we have talked about the two of you on occasion. The girls and I have, that is."

"He makes me completely mental," Lily protested. "We'd kill each other!"

"I don't think that's true," Mary said sagely. "You get along well enough now. Once he stopped trying to romance you constantly and against your will, and once you lightened up a little bit, things calmed down."

There was a pause while Lily digested that and Mary looked out the window.

"He makes you laugh." Mary's soft voice cut through the silence. "_Really_ laugh, not just smile politely. I can tell you feel better when he's around. You look for him now when you get stressed out, like he can do something to fix it."

"What, are you stalking me now?" For the third time that day, Lily could feel tears burning in her eyes, but this time they were tears of defeat.

"No, just paying attention. Come on, you obviously have feelings for him. What's holding you back?"

Lily blinked, and a tear trickled down her cheek.

"You can tell me. I won't breathe a word. Not to anyone. We never have to talk about it again."

When Lily still didn't answer, Mary reached out and pulled her into a hug, ignoring the soft sounds of protest. Sniffling, Lily let tears seep from her eyes and into Mary's robes.

"It's stupid," she said finally. Mary smiled but didn't reply. She rubbed slow circles in her friend's upper back, swaying lightly from side to side.

"It's just...he's Potter, isn't he? He's always been this huge thorn in my side. But he's also a constant. I know what to expect, or at least I always used to. Everything is changing, out there, in here. People have all of these expectations of me, but I still feel like a kid. Going out with James...I don't know how to describe it, but it feels like that would be a real step forward, into some future that I don't even know I want yet. And once I've taken that step, there's no way back. What if I'm completely wrong about him? Do you know how awful that would be?"

Mary waited for several long seconds, but Lily seemed to have run out of words.

"All good points," she said. Lily pulled out of their hug and wiped her eyes. Mary looked into her friend's tearstained face and smiled. "But Lily, but if you're right?"

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><p><strong>AN: Welcome to all the new readers! We're going to go on a little romance-centric frolic for a few chapters. Hope you enjoy :) Thanks for reading!**


	13. Chapter 13

**J.K. Rowling owns this universe. I'm just playing in her sandbox**

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><p>For the seventh years, time seemed to speed up as the holidays approached. November blended seamlessly into December, and the days were full to overflowing with homework assignments and frantic study sessions. It was hard to focus on the dark and frightening headlines in the <em>Daily Prophet<em> when things closer to home were already so stressful. Lily had given up worrying about James for the time being, although she thought she saw Mary watching them occasionally.

"It isn't worth getting fussed about, Mary," she had whispered harshly one night, after catching her friend's knowing smile at the two of them sitting side by side near the fire. "We're friends, and I like it that way."

She wasn't quite sure she believed that, but James hadn't pushed anything or made any indication that he still harbored romantic notions for weeks. That night after the Gryffindor victory represented a turning point in her mind. Pretending she didn't have feelings for James was clearly a lost cause. He was funny and kind and impossibly intelligent, despite his love for mischief. More than that, he was a sincere and loyal friend.

None of that did anything to change her concerns, however. There was no guarantee that giving into her feelings wouldn't be a colossal disaster, and with so many things on her plate, Lily wasn't going to risk the one friendship that was pulling her through.

What she didn't know, however, was that James had been so easy-going precisely because he felt he was so close to winning her over. Their conversations had become deeper, more personal. It wasn't unusual for her to talk about her parents, or for him to share a story about growing up in a pureblood family. He had opened up to her about his plans for the future, and she had promised to help him with his Auror application essay. Sometimes they even ventured into conversations about her future career choices, although that was clearly a sore subject for her. He savored every small victory and catalogued each touch or smile that was just for him.

He wasn't the only seventh year Gryffindor boy who was celebrating a change of romantic circumstances, either. Frank Longbottom spent the first week of December in a fog of bliss. Alice Fortescue had kissed him. She had also agreed to go to the next Hogsmeade weekend with him, which fell right before the Christmas holidays. Frank had been making plans and discarding them every few days, determined to make it the most memorable first date she'd ever had.

"It's disgusting," Sirius said half-heartedly, watching Frank and Alice snuggling in front of the fire. A stone's throw from them, James and Lily sat at a table, heads bent over a Herbology assignment. Lily threw her head back and laughed, and James stared at her adoringly.

Remus sighed. "We'll be the only single chaps left in the tower soon, Padfoot."

"What about Wormy?" Sirius looked around. "Where is he, anyway?"

"Studying with Jenna Finch in the Library. Surprised you didn't notice...this is the second time this week."

"That Hufflepuff bird from Charms?" Remus nodded and Sirius groaned. "Did the house elves put something in the pumpkin juice?"

Remus smiled sympathetically. "It's okay to be jealous, Padfoot."

"Jealous?" Sirius scoffed. "Please. Of what?"

"You haven't exactly been keeping it a secret." Remus rolled his eyes. "Ragging on James about Lily constantly, making little remarks."

"I always rag on Prongs! We're best friends!"

"And that's not going to change just because he has a girlfriend."

Sirius shut his mouth with a snap and stared at his feet. There was a long pause, and then-

"You don't know that."

"Yeah, I do." Remus looked over at the subject of their conversation. He was telling a story, his hands waving around in that animated way that always meant James was reaching the good part. Lily was in stitches, her cheeks and eyes glowing with mirth.

"His feelings for her don't have anything to do with us. You know James. You know how he feels about our friendship."

"I also know how he feels about _her_," Sirius muttered. "Look, I know it makes me sound like a ponce. I get it. But...Prongs loves her. Like, jump off a cliff, scream it from the rooftops, paint it on a mountainside kind of love. You know it and I know it. You can bet that she knows it. If she doesn't she's an idiot."

Remus laughed at that, thinking of the many times their friend had professed his undying love for her before he finally wised up and backed off. Actually, Remus thought, it was possible he'd backed off a bit too much. Lily was obviously coming around to him, but James hadn't even hinted he was still crazy about her. It was possible she didn't know. He made a mental note to mention it later.

"I know who's going to come first," Sirius continued. "I know it's going to happen sooner or later...I'd rather it be later, if you know what I mean."

"You know, adulthood isn't a dirty word," Remus said gently. "And change isn't always a bad thing."

"How can you say that?" Sirius looked at him in disbelief. "You know what its like out there for...people with your problem. Aren't you scared?"

Remus wrinkled his nose. "That was a subtle change of subject."

"Answer the question, Moony." Sirius crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows, waiting.

"Yes, I'm scared," Remus said quietly. He sighed and rubbed at his eye absently. "But the way I see it, since I can't change the things I'm scared of, I shouldn't waste my time getting worked up about them. Being outraged won't change the registration laws, or make it easier for me to find a job. All I can do is work hard and try my best to prove myself to the people who matter, you know? Throwing a tantrum isn't going to fix anything."

"I am not throwing a tantrum."

"That's exactly what you're doing. And between you and me, putting a stop to the pouting and snide comments will make it a lot less likely that James decides he likes Lily more than you. It's getting old, mate."

Sirius sighed. "Yeah."

The boys sat for a bit, each absorbed in his own thoughts. Marlene joined Lily and James, and the three of them started to loudly discuss the Hufflepuff-Ravenclaw match, and whether Ravenclaw would be able to keep up their momentum to beat Slytherin in February.

"You ever think about it, Moony?"

"What?"

"You know...having a girl for more than a good snog."

Remus snorted. "Can't say I've ever had a girl around for that much, so the idea of more would be...ambitious."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You've snogged girls."

"Girl. Singular. And I doubt it would have happened at all except that we were at that little Muggle seaside town and completely drunk."

"Ahh, yes. Marianne. Or was it Melissa?"

"Umm, I am embarrassed to say that I don't remember."

Sirius laughed and looked over at Marlene, who was re-enacting a foul from the match. She caught his eye and grinned.

"Shameful, Moony. Dead shameful."

:o:o:o:o:o:o:

A light snow covered the grounds the morning of the last Hogsmeade visit of the term. Outside, younger students (and a few older ones) pelted each other with snowballs.

Lily stared out the window longingly before sighing and turning back to the Potions essay in front of her.

"You are way too responsible for your own good," Marlene commented, pulling her long hair back into a ponytail. She dabbed on a layer of lipstick and admired the effect in her mirror. "Is this too pink?"

"The reason I am doing homework on a Saturday is because I am not responsible _enough_. I should have done it days ago, but now I've run out of time. And no, I think it looks lovely. What's the occasion?"

"You have all day tomorrow! No occasion, just want to look smart." She held up two scarves, one with gold and scarlet stripes, and one a solid purple that matched her knit hat.

"That one." Lily pointed at the purple scarf. "Tomorrow I have to do Herbology and Defense. _And_ there's a Prefect meeting. _And_ James and I promised Flitwick we'd help decorate the Great Hall after supper. Term ends next week and there's no time to do anything!"

Marlene made a horrified cluck with her tongue. "Being Head Girl sounds dreadful. Why did you want it so badly?"

"I have no idea. Momentary lapse of judgment?"

"What's our intrepid Head Boy up to? Is he similarly drowning in work?"

Lily grunted. "James? Of course not. I don't know how he does it, but he's almost always completely caught up. Where he finds time is beyond me, especially with Quidditch practice added on top of it all. I'm beginning to suspect he just doesn't sleep. He's covering for me in Hogsmeade today. Technically, we're both supposed to be there, but when I told him everything I had to do, he offered to go alone."

"That's nice of him."

"Mm," Lily said, trying to sound as noncommittal as possible.

"You've been a lot nicer lately, too. Not nearly as snippy as normal."

Lily didn't answer, instead focusing on dipping her quill carefully into her inkwell.

"Almost makes me wonder." Marlene straightened her hat and adjusted her cloak. "There. What do you think?"

Lily put her quill down and turned to face her roommate. "Gorgeous. Seriously, Mar, what's going on? Do you have a date?"

Marlene winked. "Not that he knows about."

"Slag."

"Prig."

Lily laughed and waved her off. "I want details later, McKinnon. Details!"

"If you're lucky." She blew a kiss over her shoulder and skipped down the stairs.

Lily sighed again and stared at her parchment. It wasn't even noon yet and she was sick at the sight of it. She stood and stretched, wondering if she would have more success concentrating in the Head's office.

Out the window, she could see Alice and Frank strolling down toward the school's gates, hand in hand. The sight made her smile. Alice had been almost irritatingly happy since she and Frank got together, but it had been a welcome distraction from all the stress of end of term assignments and increasingly gloomy stories in the _Daily Prophet_.

In the last week, there had been four separate attacks, two of them on Muggle families near wizarding villages. In all, twelve people had died, including children. The Ministry wasn't any closer to tracking down the dark wizard called Lord Voldemort or his followers, and the violence was showing no signs of slowing. Rubbing salt in an open wound, the general mood among the Slytherins lately had been particularly cheery. The whole situation gave Lily the uncharacteristic urge to hex someone.

Frustrated, she packed her things in her bag and set off for the Head's office, deciding that a change of scenery was just the thing her Potions essay needed. On the way, she stopped for hot cocoa, courtesy of the Hogwarts house elves. She wondered how she had gone so long without knowing about the secret entrance to the kitchen.

A half hour later, she was nestled in front of a roaring fire, wrapped in a spare cloak that James had left there after Quidditch practice one day, warm cocoa on her left and Potions essay on her right.

That's exactly where James found her when he came back from Hogsmeade at 6:00 that evening. Her hair had been twisted into some kind of complicated knot secured by a quill, and the whole contraption teetered dangerously over her left ear. Her hands were covered in ink stains, and a completed Potions essay lay rolled up near where she slept.

And she was wrapped in his cloak. Her face was nestled into it, and she was smiling ever-so-slightly. He stared for so long that he forgot why he had come to the office in the first place.

Lily gave a groggy little snort and her eyelids fluttered. Embarrassed at being nearly caught, James cleared his throat and dropped his bag loudly.

"Sleeping on the job, Evans? Shocking. I might just turn you in for that! They'll have your badge for sure."

She yawned and turned her face further into his cloak, curling up into a tight ball. "Go away, Potter, I was having a really lovely dream. N.E.W.T.'s were cancelled and we were all eating sugar quills and drinking butterbeer in class instead."

"That does sound fantastic. Budge up." He lowered himself to the floor near her head and unceremoniously gathered up the remainder of the cloak, forming a pillow and placing it on his lap. She scooted up, resting her head on his leg.

"How was Ho-hogsmeade?" Lily yawned again, her eyes crinkling as she covered her mouth. "I'm sorry, excuse me."

"Uneventful." James forced himself to not tell her how pretty she looked all drowsy and pink. He thought she'd be receptive, but he had been burned too many times to just pay her a compliment all willy-nilly. "Broke up a couple of dates that were getting too handsy, just for fun."

She swatted his knee and grinned. "Arse. That's the whole point of going out in Hogsmeade. No supervision."

"You tart." He laughed and adopted his best Scottish accent. "We cannot allow the wizarding community to judge our fine educational establishment by the actions of a few morally challenged miscreants."

"You know, I think your McGonagall impression gets worse by the day."

"Jealousy does not become you, Evans." He leaned over and tickled her side with one hand, pinning her down with the other when she shrieked and started to squirm. "Say my McGonagall is better than the original. Say it, or I won't let you up!"

She gasped, writhing and gasping for breath. "Y-your Scottish accent...is b-bullocks."

"That's it. You asked for it!"

He renewed his tickling, digging his fingers into her sides. Her shirt rode up, and for one, tantalizing second he saw the creamy skin of her stomach. The moment of distraction cost him dearly.

"_Rictusempra_!"

Lily had managed to get one hand around her wand, and the next second, James was the one doubled over, at the mercy of her expertly cast tickling charm. She pushed a lock of hair out of her face with a shaking hand and caught her breath.

"What's that?" she asked sweetly, leaning in close to his mouth, which was moving soundlessly. "Don't like having a taste of your own medicine?"

When he began to gasp and twitch on his back, she sighed and spared him further agony. Wordlessly, she cast the counter-charm.

"You fight mean, Evans," he wheezed. She leaned closer, flashing a wicked grin.

"I fight to win."

Her lips were inches from his, and he could feel the warmth radiating off of her in waves. His breath caught in his chest. He stared at her mouth, willing it closer.

Lily's heart pounded. At some undefined moment, the tension in the room had shifted. It felt like her whole body was on fire and frozen in a block of ice at the same time. Her breaths came in sharp little pants.

She forced her eyes away from his lips to his glassy, dilated eyes. _He's so close. I could just lean down and then..._

A log in the fire fell with a particularly loud crash, breaking the silence and making her jump.

She blinked rapidly, pulling up and away, sitting next to him with a muffled thump. Her blood pounded in her ears, and a delightful fluttery feeling churned her stomach. For one hazy moment, she had considered just kissing him. What would it hurt really? One, tiny kiss surely wouldn't change anything. Except she knew that it would change everything, and that was why she had stopped.

James cleared his throat and sat up, reaching for his books. "Right. Um. Charms? I've been having problems with this assignment on elemental magic."

He hoped she couldn't hear the way his voice was shaking, and that she wouldn't notice as he shifted to cover his lap with _Standard Book of Spells_.

"Of course. Elemental magic. I just...I left my notes back in the dorm. Mind if we catch up on this later? I should eat something anyway. I didn't have lunch and that cocoa was hours ago and..."

He nodded and cut her off, hoping to put her at ease. "It's okay, Lily. I can wait."

He stopped short of saying what he really wanted to say. _I'd wait forever._

She scrambled around the room, stuffing things into her bookbag and not making eye contact. He watched her sadly, wishing he knew what to say to make it clear to her that what was happening between them was right and good and nothing to be afraid of. She was so skittish.

"Is something wrong?" James fiddled with the quill she had shaken out of her hair and stared at her longingly. She was whirling around the room like a dervish, doing everything to avoid acknowledging his presence. He fought the urge to grab her and make her sit sit and talk to him about what had just happened. She had to know how much it killed him when she pulled away. It seemed to pain her just as much, but still she kept herself distant, always just out of reach.

"No, not at all!" Her voice was strained and unnaturally high. "Just hungry. See you later!"

With a forced smile in his general direction and a cheery wave, Lily escaped out into the relative safety of the hallway, leaving James to sit alone by the fire and wonder how he could be so close to getting what he'd always wanted and so far at the same time.

:o:o:o:o:o:o:

That night, Marlene returned from Hogsmeade floating on air. She and Alice arrived back in their room at roughly the same time wearing matching grins.

"You look like you've been practicing cheering charms on each other," Mary said when she saw them. Marlene and Alice looked at each other and laughed, their giggles high and giddy.

"Keep it down," groaned Lily, burying her head under a pillow. After eating dinner as quickly as possible, she had hidden herself in the Library and attempted to get a head start on Sunday's work, knowing that if he wanted to, James could simply look at his map and find her. She didn't know how she felt about the fact that he left her alone all evening instead.

"What's crawled up her bum and died?" Marlene asked Mary. When Mary shrugged, Marlene made her way over to Lily's bed and sat down.

"Oi, Evans! What's crawled up your bum died?" Lily didn't answer, so she tackled her with all her might, finally evincing a squeal and laughter. "Come on, I thought you wanted dirty details. How can I tell you about my date when you're buried under your covers like that?"

Reluctantly, Lily poked her head out from under the comforter. Marlene made a face.

"Blimey, you look awful. Have you been in bed all day?"

She pushed her hair back from her face and grimaced. "No. I've been working my arse off. Meanwhile, you lot are back long after all the students were supposed to be rounded up and brought home. You barely made curfew!"

"Well, seeing as Alice and I were both with his roommates, James made an exception for us."

Marlene's words took a moment to sink in. Then Lily sat up abruptly. "You were both...who were you out with, Mar?"

She tossed her hair and grinned, drawing the moment out as her roommates waited on the edge of their seats. Finally, Alice rolled her eyes and laughed.

"If you don't tell them, I will."

"Fine. Spoilsport." She cleared her throat. "Sirius, of course."

Mary squealed. "Of course? I didn't know you were even interested in Sirius, did you, Lily?"

"That prat?" Lily frowned. "Remus would have been a better choice."

"You would say that," Marlene scoffed. "Remus is _nice_ and _safe_."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh, and Sirius is so dangerous? Maybe he is-if you're worried about catching something contagious. I've seen him with five different girls since November."

"What's your problem with Sirius? You and James are all chummy now. Shouldn't you like his mates, too?"

"James and I are...that has nothing to do with this," Lily stuttered. "And I don't dislike Sirius. He's a good bloke, and he's helped me out a few times this year when I've been in a tight spot. But he isn't boyfriend material."

"Well, who said anything about him being my boyfriend?" Marlene said airily. She lay back on Lily's comforter and grinned. "It's just a bit of fun. Sirius is a lark. I'm not planning on falling in love with him. Alice, now, she's already a goner for Frank. Why are you all taking the mickey out on me? She's the one picking out china!"

Alice flushed a pretty pink and buried her head in her own pillow. "Thanks a lot, Marlene. Just throw me to the dogs, why don't you?"

"It was me or you, Fortescue. I choose you."

"How did it go? Was Frank every bit romantic as you thought he would be?" Mary leaned forward, head in her hands.

"He was perfect," Alice gushed, forgetting her embarrassment instantly. As she went into the details of her date, Lily stared out the window, picturing herself and James in Hogsmeade, hand in hand. James wouldn't pull the kind of sappy romantic stuff Alice was so ga-ga for. They'd probably go to Zonko's and Honeydukes, and maybe finish off at the Three Broomsticks for a butterbeer. Afterward, they'd go for a walk alone on the grounds, and he'd show her all the secret places she'd never known were there. Maybe, at the end of the date, he'd lean in for one, perfect kiss...

Her face warmed and she came back to the conversation with a start, shaking herself loose from the happy picture in her head.

"So I was thinking we could invite all the boys," Marlene was saying. "My parents have plenty of space, and it would be fun to spend a couple days together outside of Hogwarts."

"That's a brilliant idea," Alice said immediately. "Lily, would your parents let you get away?"

"Huh?"

"Over New Year's," Alice said impatiently. "For Marlene's party?"

"Oh, right." Everyone was looking at her, and she squirmed, wondering how she would pitch a co-ed slumber party to her parents. "You said you were inviting...all the boys?"

"Yes, Lily," Marlene said teasingly. "All of them. Including the Head Boy. And there are enough rooms in my house to make sure that anyone could sneak away and remain undisturbed for quite some time."

Lily's cheeks blazed, and she glared at her friend. "Get off it," she snapped. "I'll see what I can do, but James has nothing to do with it."

Marlene shook her head and grinned. "You go right on thinking that...but I'm betting on fireworks this New Year's Eve."

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><p><strong>AN: What about you? Are you on Marlene's side, or do you think Lily has it right? :) Thanks for reading!**


	14. Chapter 14

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter and all the rest. I'm just playing in her sandbox.**

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><p>The train station in Hogsmeade was packed with students the day after the end of term, and Lily had given up trying to maintain any kind of order. Someone had let off a handful of Dr. Fillibuster's Fabulous Wet-Start No-Heat Fireworks (she suspected Sirius, but had no proof), and there was a festive feeling in the air.<p>

"After all, Lily," James had said sternly, with a twinkle in his hazel eyes, "school isn't technically in session anymore. And if we aren't in school, then you and I don't _technically_ have any authority to enforce school rules."

"Fair point," she answered, leaning back to admire a firework that was rocketing over their heads, its sparks taking the shape of blooming flowers. "I guess we're just rulers without a country."

"Heavy is the crown." James nodded solemnly. He spotted a couple of third years with their wands out, furtively looking about and obviously about to cast some kind of spell. "Oi! You lot! Wands away, we aren't at Hogwarts anymore! Haven't you heard of the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underaged Sorcery?"

At Lily's amused expression, he shrugged. "We may be rulers without a country, but there's no sense in letting the anarchists take control."

"Spoken like a true ex-anarchist," she said with a laugh.

"Oh, Prongs, say it isn't so." Sirius, closely followed by a freshly mussed Marlene, strolled up to them with a sad frown on his face. "If I had known you were planning on joining the rank and file rule-followers, I would have intervened sooner."

Lily pulled a face. "Don't worry, _Padfoot_, I think you bring enough chaos into the world all on your own. You won't miss one troublemaker."

"Ah, that's where you're wrong," Remus said, joining them with Peter. "Every time a troublemaker grows up, Padfoot here mourns the loss personally."

"How many times do I have to tell you, Moony." Sirius glared at Remus and shook his head. "Don't use the G word around me. My weak constitution just can't stand it."

The surrounding Gryffindors laughed but Sirius sniffed loudly. "I can't believe you're all taking the self-destruction of one of Hogwarts' finest troublemakers so lightly. I can see I shall have to take curative action. I'll apologize in advance to your parents, Prongs. It won't be a restful holiday."

James grinned. "They're used to it. I think they'd be almost disappointed if we laid low."

"Are you spending your entire holiday with the Potters?" Lily asked curiously. The group hushed immediately, and Marlene put a gentle hand on Sirius' shoulder. Lily blanched. "I'm sorry, was that the wrong question?"

"No, it's fine," Sirius said lightly, although his eyes had gone cold and flat. "I spend most of my holidays with the Potters. My parents aren't exactly the type of people who take their eldest son's rejection of their lifestyle lightly."

"Lifestyle?" Lily looked from James to Sirius, bewildered.

"They're pureblood fanatics and Slytherins to the core," Sirius said brusquely. "And that's all I have to say about the subject, if that's quite all right with you, Evans."

He turned and stalked toward the train alone. Marlene gave Lily a quick apologetic glance and hurried after him. Dorcas sighed heavily, and Alice shook her head.

"I'm sorry," Lily said immediately, not knowing who she was apologizing to. "I didn't know."

"He doesn't like to talk about them," Remus said quietly, when no one else responded. "He ran away from home summer before sixth year and never looked back. I don't think he's talked to his younger brother Regulus since."

Lily stared after Sirius, torn. "Should I go after him and apologize? He looked upset."

"Marlene will take care of him," James said sensibly. "Best to leave him alone when he gets in a mood like this. It'll sort itself out."

"But you all knew? About his family?"

Dorcas shrugged uneasily. "It isn't exactly a secret, Lily. Everyone was gossiping about it last year."

"Especially the pureblood families," Alice rushed to say. "The Blacks are a very old family, and they don't have a reputation for scandal. It was big news for a while. You couldn't have been expected to know, being Muggleborn."

"But if it was such big news, then I should have," Lily protested. "I feel awful."

James put an arm around her shoulders and squeezed gently. The action sent shivers down her spine. "Honestly, Evans, let it be for now. If you feel that bad about it, you can always apologize at Mar's party. He'll be over it by then, and he'll have access to large amounts of alcohol if he isn't."

The train let out a loud, long whistle, and students started to fill the cars. James didn't remove his arm, but instead sauntered forward, effectively pulling Lily along with him.

Dorcas and Remus exchanged glances, but Alice and Mary just grinned. The budding relationship between Lily and James was no longer a well-kept secret, and most of Gryffindor house was simply waiting for it to become official. The wide-spread gossip about her love life would have horrified Lily if she knew, as would the running bet Peter and Sirius had over when their friend would finally kiss the reluctant redhead.

"Just how crazy is Marlene's party going to be?" Lily looked up James with uncertainty. While she wasn't exactly a stranger to drinking, she didn't make a habit out of getting completely hammered. Without her Head Girl duties as an excuse to abstain, she was worried things would get out of hand quickly.

Marlene's words about expecting fireworks echoed in her ears, and she had spent a lot of time since then wondering whether she would be able to stop herself from acting on her feelings for James. In that moment, tucked into his side and awash in his cologne, she knew her fears were justified. It was hard enough controlling herself when she was sober.

"Why, you worried the Department of Magical Law Enforcement is going to crash the party?" He dipped his head and discreetly sniffed her hair. For the one millionth time, he wondered what was stopping her from just giving into what was happening between them. It seemed to be obvious to everyone but her.

Lily felt his breath ruffle her hair and smiled. "No, I just don't know how much Marlene's parents are going to appreciate cleaning up after ten seventeen-year-olds on a bender."

James laughed as they climbed aboard the train. It was noisy and crowded, and students stood in doorways chatting, excitement over the long break tangible in the air. Here and there, trunks still sat in the corridors, and they had to pick their way around roadblocks as they made their way toward the back of the train to drop off their things. Generally speaking, although it was always an option to stay behind at school, most students spent the Christmas holidays with their families, which meant that a train patrol was still necessary to keep order. James and Lily had volunteered to take the first shift of the ride in order to spare the Prefects, although James' good will had only extended that far.

"It's a long ride, Lily," he had said when she pressed him to take a longer shift. "I'm not going to pace the corridors for six hours. One's enough."

They stood on a small, outside platform near the front of the train as it pulled away from Hogsmeade Station, watching Hogwarts grow smaller and smaller as they sped toward London. The platform was usually reserved for the conductor at the station, but it was one of Lily's favorite places to grab a quick breath of fresh air on the train.

"Hard to believe this is almost the last time we'll see this sight, isn't it?" Lily said quietly.

"You never know," James said, his eyes tracing the familiar sight fondly.

Their arms dangled loosely at their sides, and Lily felt his fingers on the back of her hand. Her heart sped, and she wondered whether this was the moment she had been waiting for. He had been so quiet, so complacent, lately. Maybe he would finally confront her. For all her avoidance tactics, she had been longing for him to just make the decision for her and breach the silence.

"Excuse _me_." A low voice with a nasty edge interrupted the moment. With a guilty start, Lily whirled around to face Severus. "I didn't know patrolling the train meant stealing an unsupervised romantic moment. But then, you're hardly the paradigm for doing one's job, are you, Potter?"

The words were directed at James, but his eyes never left her face.

"Snape," James said coolly. "I was under the impression you had passed on patrol duty. The only other reason you could possibly be out here is to report an emergency. What it is?"

"No emergency," Severus answered, just as smoothly. He continued to stare at Lily, never acknowledging James. "Just came out for a bit of fresh air. I suffer from...motion sickness."

Lily shivered. At school, it was easier to forget that they didn't live that far apart in the outside world. He knew where she lived, had met her parents and visited her home. Suddenly, she worried about the safety of her parents once she had officially refused Snape's help.

"How terrible." James stepped forward to block Lily from Snape's sight. The other boy clearly read his intention, and his nostrils flared. "Maybe you should see the school nurse when we get back after break. Come on, Lily. Let's get out of here."

They strode back into the corridor and down the length of the train, not stopping until they had put significant distance between themselves and Snape.

"He scares me," Lily said once they had gotten out of earshot.

James looked down at her curiously. It was the first time she had spoken directly about Snape in quite some time, and it wasn't the reaction he had been expecting. Disgust or anger, perhaps, but not fear. "Really?"

"I don't even know him anymore. After Halloween and everything that's happened since...he lives just down the road from me, James."

He bristled. "What?"

"That's how we met. He...he figured out I was a witch before I did. He wanted to be friends. Sev was the one who told me all about Hogwarts and magic and everything else. But now, with him so close—"

She shivered, and this time James did grab her hand. His palm was rough and calloused but warm, and his hand completely engulfed hers.

"Don't worry, Evans. We'll figure it out. I won't let him hurt you _or_ your family. We'll guard you in shifts if we have to."

And despite her fears, when she looked up at his fierce, determined eyes and his gentle smile, she trusted him implicitly. She squeezed his fingers before easing her hand from his grip.

"You know what, Potter? I believe you."

:o:o:o:o:o:o:

James didn't mention what happened with Snape again, but when they arrived at King's Cross Station, he followed Lily out into the crowd, hauling his trunk and hers behind him, not bothering with magic.

"You really don't have to do that, James."

He just waved her off.

"Nonsense. It's no trouble. Lead the way, Evans."

And then they were meeting her parents, and Lily was running up and wrapping her arms securely around her father, while her mother cooed over how long her hair had gotten. The comforting smell of her mother's perfume filled her nostrils, and for one, blissful moment, Lily forgot that she was towing unexpected company.

"Are you going to introduce us to your friend, Lily?" Mrs. Evans asked gently, her eyes sparkling with humor as she took in the tall, messy-haired young man who stood just apart from the small family.

Lily's cheeks turned pink, but she let go of her father and smiled back at the boy. Mrs. Evans had never seen her daughter give someone that look before, and it filled her with joy and sadness all at once. Her daughter was in love.

"This is James...James Potter. He's—"

"Ah, yes, we've heard an awful lot about you over the years. Can't say it's been good," Mr. Evans interrupted, leveling a stern look at the youth. James' bright smile flickered.

"Oh? Well, I promise you, only about 75 percent of it is true. The rest is completely invented. Your daughter does tell wild stories, don't know where she picked that up from. Obviously not from her honest, hard working parents."

Lily elbowed him in the ribs and laughed, missing the knowing look her parents exchanged.

"James was just helping me with my trunk. He's got to be going now, don't you, James?"

But James was sidestepping her, approaching her parents with his hand outstretched. "So nice to finally meet you, Mr. Evans. And Mrs. Evans."

"Are you sure about that, son?" Mr. Evans said, staring him in the eye. James didn't blink.

"Don't mind my husband, James," Mrs. Evans said, shooting her daughter a sly smile. "He doesn't tend to have a sense of humor about his daughters' boyfriends."

"Mum!" Lily groaned loudly, feeling like a twelve-year-old as James laughed delightedly. "James is not my boyfriend. And he _really_ has to get going."

Without waiting for further parental commentary, Lily grabbed his arm and towed him a safe distance away, ignoring his vague sounds of protest.

"Well, that was horrifying," she muttered. "Stop laughing!"

James pursed his lips together, but he couldn't quite contain his amusement, and his shoulders continued to shake with mirth. Lily sighed, but the corners of her mouth twitched with the tiniest suggestion of a smile.

"So I'll see you at Marlene's party, then?" he asked, coughing to hide one last giggle.

Lily looked over her shoulder to where her parents still stood. Her mother was drinking in the sights and sounds of Platform 9 3/4, but her father was staring directly at them.

"What happened to guarding my house in shifts?" she teased, smiling but watching him closely to catch his reaction. She wasn't disappointed. He swallowed, blinked, and then grinned.

"Are you inviting me to your house over the holidays, Lily Evans?"

"I just...well, I..." she stuttered, her embarrassment growing as quickly as his smile.

"Lily! We're picking up your sister for the holidays, and if we don't get going we're going to be late." Mr. Evans' gruff voice broke into their conversation.

"Sorry," Lily said, turning back to James. "I'll...um, I'll see about the party."

He watched her scurry away and duck under her mother's arm.

"James, darling, who was that?"

Dorea Potter emerged from the crowd, her husband and Sirius trailing behind her talking about Puddlemore United's chances in the Cup.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I'd have thought you'd recognize your future daughter-in-law by sight."

Dorea's eyebrows disappeared under her hair, and she crossed her arms forbiddingly. "James Potter, do you have a girlfriend?"

"Of course not," James said, sighing a little as he tore his eyes away from Lily's back. "Lily is Head Girl, Mum. I was just helping her with her trunk."

"That's not all he wants to help her with," Sirius said, and Charlus chuckled.

"Pretty girl, James. You could do much worse."

"Wait, wait, wait." Mrs. Potter flapped her hands in front of her face, eyes suddenly wide with understanding. "Lily? Lily Evans, that girl you're always talking about? That Lily?"

She turned on Sirius, swatting him and scowling. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Me?" Sirius yelped, dodging her blows and laughing incredulously. "He's the Head Boy! Hit him!"

"Oh, I can't count on him to tell his poor, old mother anything." She sent a meaningful glance at her son, who rolled his eyes and levitated his trunk. "He could get married and I would be the last one to know."

"Laying it on a bit thick, aren't you, Mum?"

"But _you_, Sirius," she continued, ignoring James. "You're supposed to be my eyes and ears. Honestly, I thought I could count on you."

"Mum, I swear I told you about Lily being Head Girl. It isn't a big deal."

His mother could embarrass him like no one else on the planet, and as they made their way toward the apparition point near the barrier back into the Muggle world, James flattened his hair down compulsively and tried to cover his rapidly reddening face.

"You'll invite her over for tea. I want to meet her."

"Oh, come off it," groaned James, now regretting enjoying Lily's mortification quite as much as he had. "She has better things to do over her holidays than sit through some stuffy tea."

"James Potter, are you insinuating that your darling mother is anything but enchantment and charm all wrapped up in one beautiful package?" Sirius said, grinning at the irritation on his best friend's face. "I am offended on her behalf. Why, I have half a mind to curse you silly just for the implication!"

They reached the apparition point and Mrs. Potter laughed. "Don't think I didn't see you standing off to the side with Marlene McKinnon. I see tea in her future as well!"

"Right, mate," Sirius said suddenly. "Every bloke for himself."

With a loud *pop!*, he apparated off the platform, leaving the Potters behind.

"Nice one, Mum," James said with an impish grin.

"Don't think for one second you're off the hook," she warned, shaking her finger and blinking out of sight, leaving him alone with his father. Placing a restraining arm on his son's shoulder, Charlus Potter shook his head briefly.

"I thought we could get a drink before we joined your mother and Sirius," he said gravely.

"Uh, yeah, all right." James looked up at him, noticing his grey complexion and the new lines that had sprung up under his eyes and around his mouth. "What's up, Dad?"

"It's time that you and I had a serious talk."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading! **


	15. Chapter 15

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter and the rest. I'm just playing in her sandbox.**

* * *

><p>Mr. Potter stared down into his cup of tea, frowning at the bag that floated listlessly on top. He and James were sitting in a shabby Muggle establishment near the train station. They hadn't spoken since leaving Platform 9 34, and James was starting to worry.

"Dad?"

He shook his head wordlessly, and James shut his mouth with an audible snap.

"Things are changing, son."

James waited for a beat, and when his father didn't look up or keep speaking, he sighed.

"Yeah, Dad, I know. Is that what you dragged me here to tell me? Because I figured that one out on my own."

Mr. Potter looked up at his son, who looked so much like his wife but acted very much like he had as a young man.

"Are you still planning on applying to the Aurors?"

James blinked. He had not expected this line of questioning. "Yeah, of course. Nothing's changed in that regard at least."

"I know that you've been reading the papers, James, so I won't pull any punches here." Mr. Potter set his full teacup down and stared earnestly into his son's eyes. "There is a war on. People are dying—more than the _Prophet_ or anyone else is reporting—and if you're accepted into Magical Law Enforcement, your life will be at risk every day. You'll be fighting on the front lines, and you won't get the easy jobs just because you're my son."

James snorted. "Is that what you're worried about? That I'm not serious enough about this?"

His father raised his eyebrows wordlessly.

"It isn't a joke to me, Dad. I want to do what you do...I always have. I know I haven't always been the most...law-abiding—"

Mr. Potter snorted, but didn't say anything.

"But that's all harmless fun," James pressed on. "Kid stuff. I'm past that. I've grown up a lot. I don't know why people have such a hard time seeing that."

"Why do I get the feeling you aren't talking about me anymore?" For the first time, a smile tugged at Mr. Potter's mouth. James sighed heavily and dropped his chin to his hands.

"Lily."

"Ah."

"I think I love her, Dad." His cheeks flushed but he kept on, knowing that if anyone could help him, it was his father. "I've had a crush on her for ages, but that was harmless. That was before I really knew her. Now it's like every day she does something that makes me more impressed and enthralled and I just..."

"And she doesn't feel the same?"

"That's the thing!" James straightened up, eyes blazing. "I know she likes me. There are times I even think she feels exactly like I do. But she won't act on it, and it's making me crazy!"

"Young love," Mr. Potter said with a chuckle. "Hate to say it, but the next move is probably up to you."

"I've asked her out more times than I can count. She always says no."

"When was the last time?"

"Er..." James thought about it for a long moment. "I dunno exactly. Sometime in sixth year."

"Well?" Mr. Potter waved his hand as if to say _Get on with it._

James grunted and took a deep draught from his tea.

"Tell me about her. Does she want to be an Auror, too?"

The grimace on James' face melted away and he sighed, a soft smile on his face. "She has no idea what she wants to do. It's kind of funny, actually, because she has the rest of her life planned down to the last millisecond. Bit of a control freak, that one, but she's got a funny, crazy streak that surprises me every time. She's incredibly organized, brilliant, she's got a natural talent for Charms and Potions, and a wicked temper."

Mr. Potter laughed. "She sounds like your mother."

James snorted into his tea, but the older man shook his head. "I know you didn't have the pleasure of knowing your mother in her younger days, but she gave me a run for my galleons."

"So what did you do?"

Mr. Potter scratched his chin and stared out the window. "A lot of stupid things at first. Mostly I made a fool out of myself. The key to any young lady's heart is laughter. Do you make her laugh?"

"More and more. We're good friends now, I think." James' eyes got soft and distant as he counted off recent happy memories, and his father smiled at the sight.

"Then it may be time to push for a different answer, James. What does Miss Lily think of your dangerous aspirations?"

"I think she's actually grudgingly impressed. I know she's jealous that I have such a clear plan and she doesn't, but it's more than that. She respects that I want to keep our world safe, no matter the risk. I think she wants to do something to fight back, too. Being Muggleborn, this war affects her in a pretty serious way."

Mr. Potter nodded and continued to study his son. After a quiet moment or two, James sighed.

"What's this really about, Dad?"

"I'm retiring."

James' jaw dropped open. "What? When? Does Mum know?"

"One question at a time," Mr. Potter said, and James caught a glimpse of bone-deep weariness in the old man's eyes. "Officially, I'm leaving the department on the first of January. Unofficially, my last day in the office will be right before Christmas. I'm leaving quietly. Barty Crouch will be taking the reins from me; he's got a passion for the job, and far more energy than I do. Yes, your mother knows. In fact, it's because of your mother that I've made this decision. We are neither of us as young and spry as we used to be, and I've been growing more and more concerned about her health lately."

James opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

"I know you don't like to think about this, son, but we're up in years. Both of us. My reflexes aren't what they were, and I am not a young man anymore, ready to sacrifice my life in the name of all things good and right. I am older and wiser, and most of all I want to enjoy the time I have left with you and Dorea."

"I didn't know Mum was poorly," James finally said, his voice coming out an octave higher than he would have liked. He grimaced and cleared his throat.

"She didn't want to bother you at school." Mr. Potter smiled. "I hope you know that you get all your strength and determination from her. I am brave when I have to be, but your mother...she was just born that way. She doesn't have any other choice."

"Wow." James took another absent-minded sip of tea and almost spit it back out. It was ice cold.

"I'm telling you this because I want you to understand what you're getting yourself into. I would be deeply proud to see you follow in my footsteps as an Auror, but given the danger, the department's new leadership, and the way the world is changing every day, I just wanted to be sure that you were certain this was what you wanted before you submitted your final application. It isn't a decision to be taken lightly."

James nodded, his heart heavy and his mind buzzing with new information. Mr. Potter stood and dropped some Muggle money on the table.

"Well, let's get back to the Manor, shall we? No telling what kind of destruction Sirius has visited upon it in our absence."

:o:o:o:o:o:o:

Lily sat on her bed and stared at her trunk, relishing the quiet of her room. Petunia had taken one look at her and her eyes had frosted over. She had spent the entire car ride back from Uni talking to their mother about her wedding and steadfastly refusing to acknowledge her younger sister.

When they got home, Mr. Evans had put his arm around Lily's shoulders and squeezed gently. "She'll come around. Just give her a bit of space for now. Why don't you smarten up for supper? I'm taking my favorite girls out to celebrate the family being back together."

Once her door was closed, however, Lily couldn't find it in herself to put anything away or get ready. Instead, she stared around the room, taking in the details that she missed so dearly. There was the series of scratches on her door jamb marking her height over the years that abruptly stopped at age 11. Next to the door, a hastily applied plaster patch marked the place she had kicked through the wall in a fit of rage one summer after Petunia had insulted Severus yet again. Her bedside table was neat and mostly barren, except for a tiny music box that her Grandma Evans had given her before she died. It played _When Irish Eyes Are Smiling_ in tinkling, tinny chimes. There was also a dusty picture of the Evans family from when Lily was ten, before she had found out she was a witch and everything had changed. She and Petunia were shoulder to shoulder, matching grins on their faces.

"Lily!" Petunia's voice echoed up the stairs, and Lily sighed.

"What?" she yelled back, just as loudly.

"There's a _boy_ here for you," came the response. "And he won't leave off until you come down. Hurry up, Dad says we're going to supper in ten minutes."

Lily heard Petunia stomp away toward the kitchen, but her mind was buzzing too quickly to really care where her sister was off to. A boy? Was it Sev, come to confront her already? She had only left King's Cross an hour before. Heart pounding, she tucked her wand into the back pocket of her jeans and opened her bedroom door, creeping toward the front of the house with trepidation.

She needn't have worried. James Potter stood on her doorstep, casually leaning against the stoop railing and looking around with an air of great curiosity.

"All right, Evans?" He grinned at her, and despite her complete confusion at finding him on her street of all places, she smiled back.

"What in blazes are you doing here, Potter? Bored with Black already?"

"Hardly." James' eyes swept over her face. "How about you? Everything still okay?"

"Fine," Lily said drily. "Petunia's ignoring me, my mother is intent on making us best friends before the end of hols, and my dad is attempting to fix everything by forcing us out in public together."

James raised his eyebrows, evidently confused.

"We're all going to dinner," Lily explained, and he nodded.

"Well, I don't want to impose..."

"Why are you here, anyway?" she interrupted. "You can't be showing up for guard duty already. Have you even been home yet?"

Her tone was stern, but her eyes twinkled with amusement and a pleased pink flush made her cheeks glow. James' stomach did flip flops.

"I came to see if you'd like to come out with me sometime." The words flew out of his mouth before he could stop them. Her green eyes widened, so he rushed on before she could turn him down. "You know, grab some ice cream in Diagon Alley, get out of the house and away from your sister. We could meet Alice, and I'd bring Sirius, of course. Meant to bring it up on the train, but I forgot."

Lily's heart, which had begun to race frantically when James first mentioned going out with him, sank with a sickening thud at the mention of Alice and Sirius.

"Sure," she said quietly. "I'd like that."

Sensing an opening, James stepped forward, cutting the distance between their bodies in half.

"I was also wondering if you'd like to come over for tea. To my house."

A pleased smile grew on Lily's face, although this time she didn't meet his eyes. "Tea?"

"My mum's idea," he said, regretting the words as soon as they escaped his mouth. "Erm, she just...she wants to meet you. I talk about you a lot in my letters. You know, talking about school and stuff."

"I'd like that, too," she said after a pause.

"Lily, are you just about—Oh." Mr. Evans appeared in the doorway, and the two teenagers jumped guiltily apart. "What are you doing here, then?"

"Dad," Lily muttered, mortified.

"Well, he can't have anything new to talk about, you've barely been home from school five minutes," her father said, a bit quieter this time. "Finish up, Lily. We'll be waiting at the carport."

There was an awkward pause and then they both started talking at once.

"I'd best be getting home—"

"I guess I'll see you later—"

They laughed.

"I'll owl you about Diagon Alley?" James said hopefully. "And maybe tea?"

"Yeah, all right." Lily backed into the house, still smiling. "Later, Potter."

:o:o:o:o:o:o:

James lounged in an armchair near the fire, staring out the window of the parlor into the night. Sirius, who was playing chess with Mr. Potter, looked up at him and groaned.

"Honestly, mate, how long are you going to pine like that? It's making me ill."

Mr. Potter laughed, but James just glowered out the window.

"Easy for you to mock, Marlene's been here half a dozen times. Jupiter has been gone for two days with my letter, and Lily still hasn't written me back! I mean, that's shockingly bad etiquette, wouldn't you say?"

"You did tell him to stay until he had a reply. It isn't as though she's holding him hostage, Prongs."

"She might as well be." He swung his legs over the arm of his chair and flung his head back, closing his eyes and sighing deeply.

After dropping by Lily's house unannounced and receiving a rather embarrassing welcome by both her sister and her father, James had determined that the best way to win her would be from afar. He had spent the days leading up to Christmas painstakingly drafting and redrafting his letter to her, agonizing over every word. Finally, on Christmas Eve morning, he had sent it off with Jupiter, the family owl.

_Lily,_

_Hope your holiday is off to a good start, and that you haven't received any unwelcome gits on your doorstep (besides myself, of course, but I hardly count as unwelcome, right?). Sirius and I have been decking the halls and generally driving Bitsy up the wall. Bitsy's our elf, she's been with my family since before I was born. Mum says Bitsy was her family's elf when she was young, and given Mum's age, I think that means Bitsy must be about a million years old. You wouldn't know it to look at her, though. Why just this morning she was keeping up with Sirius and I as we attempted to liberate some sweets from the kitchen! Really, her speed and agility is impressive. I think elf magic should be an elective course, don't you? _

_Marlene is over right now...I think she and Sirius are up to something. It's been too quiet in the den for about an hour now, which usually means that something, somewhere is about to explode. My money's on the Christmas tree. Mum's outfitted it with enchanted floating candles this year, and fire has always been a bit of a temptation for Sirius. Honestly, she should know better._

_I was thinking we could go to Diagon Alley after Christmas, say the 27th? Marlene has plans to meet Sirius that day around noon, and I thought we could tag along and take the mickey. Maybe you could owl Alice and Frank as well? Peter and Remus are both on holiday with their families, so they won't be joining us. Marlene mentioned wanting to get a new frock for her party as well, so perhaps you two could do that at some point. Sirius and I are completely hopeless when it comes to witch fashion. _

_If you can't make it to Diagon Alley, I'd still like to see you. You can spare a few hours to pop by my place and help me make Sirius miserable for a few hours one afternoon, surely. I never thought I'd miss studying, but at least it meant that I got a few guaranteed hours of Evans time in my week. _

_Anyway, this letter has gone on for far longer than intended. I know you don't have an owl, so feel free to keep Jupiter around for your answer. _

_Sincerely,_

_James_

The letter and the owl it came with had taken up semi-permanent residence on Lily's desk. She had read and re-read James' words several times when it first arrived, lingering on words and phrases that seemed particularly suggestive. Was he inviting her on a double date, or was this just a gathering of friends? Surely he wasn't just inviting her over to spend time with himself and Sirius? Didn't he want to see her alone? Reading it gave her a fluttery, uncertain feeling in her stomach.

Try as she might, though, she couldn't decide just how she wanted to play her answer. Flirtatious? Coy? Oblivious? She could tell that Jupiter, the beautiful tawny owl that had delivered James' note, was growing impatient with her, and she couldn't imagine what James thought of her continued silence. After all, it was already the 26th.

"Lily, dear, you have a visitor." Her mother stuck her head in the doorway and smiled pleasantly, although there was something a little off about her eyes. "Won't you come down and see him?"

Her thoughts instantly flew to James, she could feel her heart begin to pound happily. He had given up on her letter and come to get an answer in person, it seemed. She took the stair two at a time and sprinted into the front room.

"Sorry I haven't returned your owl yet, I just..."

Severus turned away from the window to face her, his dark eyes flat and staring.

"You kids take all the time you need," Mrs. Evans said. Lily looked at her, shocked. She had discussed her falling out with Sev at length with her mother, and Mrs. Evans knew that he wasn't welcome in their home. Then Lily looked closer at the vague, unfocused look in her eyes and her stomach churned.

"The imperious curse is illegal, you evil little git. Take it off!"

"I haven't done anything illegal. She'll be fine. Nothing you can't put right quite quickly, with your brains."

Lily ignored the compliment and crossed her arms over her chest, wishing she hadn't left her room without her wand. "Mum, go to the kitchen and wait for me there. This won't take long."

Sev watched her, taking note of her pajamas and messy ponytail. She glared back defiantly, refusing to let him see how his obvious perusal unnerved her.

"What do you want, Snape? I'm sure you gathered that I'm not interested in speaking to you. Let's make this quick."

"Have you given any thought to my proposal?" His tone was even and emotionless, but Lily didn't miss the hope in his eyes.

"I've given it all the thought it deserves. None." Lily's mind whirled, trying to come up with a way to get her wand without him stopping her. She had never really tried wandless magic since starting at Hogwarts, and she doubted she could summon it from her room with any kind of ease.

Snape rolled his eyes. "I don't care that you're unarmed, I'm not here to attack you. Or anyone else for that matter."

Lily blanched. "How—what—?"

"Leglimancy is an invaluable skill in certain circles. I've been studying it with Professor Waldring as an independent project." He raised his eyebrows and glanced towards the stairwell. "Who did you think I was when your mother came to get you?"

She kept her mouth shut and tried not to even think his name, but James' face swam to the forefront of her mind all the same. Snape's face darkened.

"I might have guessed. He's going to put your life in danger, Lily. Sooner or later, if you insist on hanging around idiots like Potter and Black, you'll end up hurt or killed. This isn't something you want to take chances with."

"James isn't the one who keeps showing up uninvited and threatening me. Seems like that's a point in his favor on the danger side," Lily said coolly.

"He doesn't know how to protect you!" Snape eyebrows pulled together in an ugly glare. "Everything he does invites trouble. Putting aside all the things you _used _to find despicable, he's reckless with his safety and he has no idea what he's up against."

"Your concerns are noted. Is that all? I don't like having filth in my sitting room."

Snape went pale with anger. "This isn't over."

"I think it is," she said. "Leave now, before I have to make you."

He didn't move. "With what wand?"

"No wand. But I do know how to deliver a punch, thanks to my _Muggle _father. I've been itching to get some practice in. Try me."

They considered each other, wondering whether Lily would follow through with her threat. Snape smirked.

"No matter. You don't understand yet. You will. See you at school."

"Not if I'm lucky. Stay out of my way, Snape. I'm not kidding."

He turned and walked toward the front door, then paused to look over his shoulder. Instead of the haughty sneer, his pale face drawn in a look of genuine concern. "Be safe," he said, before blinking out of sight with a loud crack.

Lily hurried to the kitchen, where her mother sat at the table staring blankly at an empty mug.

"Tea, Mum?"

"Oh! Lily, dear. I was just going to make some tea." She stood up and looked around vaguely. "Have you seen the kettle?"

"It's on the stove, Mum."

"So it is. Odd."

It took another hour for Lily to sort out what exactly Snape had done to her, and about ten minutes to look up the spells to set it right. He had been right, it wasn't a complicated process. Still, the whole thing left her shaken, and when she returned to her room and saw Jupiter waiting patiently next to James' letter, she sat down and started writing immediately.

_James,_

_My Christmas was lovely, thank you. I hope Sirius didn't end up setting anything on fire...or if he did, that Bitsy was able to put everything to rights again. I'm sorry I didn't get around to answering you sooner...you know how the holidays can be._

She paused, carefully considering her next words.

_I'd love to meet you tomorrow. I can be at the Leaky Cauldron by noon, if that's okay. I need to talk to you in person._

_I had a visitor today...exactly who you think. He did something to my mum in order to convince her to let him in. She's fine now, but it took some time to work out what kind of spellwork he used. He didn't seem to want to hurt me, but it was scary how easily he got into my house. I can't wait to be back at school. What if it had been someone else? My parents are practically sitting ducks. I can't protect them on my own. Maybe we can put our heads together and come up with a solution that leaves them less exposed._

She hesitated, scanning her letter and trying to read it from his perspective. Would he see how much she needed him? Would he understand that she was done pretending she didn't care about him? Making up her mind, she signed the note.

_Yours,_

_Lily_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Duhn duhn duhnnnn. :) Thanks for reading!**


	16. Chapter 16

**J.K. Rowling owns this popsicle stand. I'm just playing in her sandbox.**

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><p>"Calm down, Prongs. She'll be here soon."<p>

In the dim light of the Leaky Cauldron, James rocked back and forth on his heels, the ring finger of his left hand shoved in his mouth as he gnawed on his cuticle.

"Yeah, but what if she—"

The door opened and a blast of cold air blew into the pub, and James held his breath as a scrum of people pushed forward. He scanned their faces, visibly deflating when Lily wasn't among them.

"She's fine. You'd have heard otherwise by now if something happened."

"Something did happen, Padfoot. Or have you forgotten about the git who broke into her house, cursed her mum, and threatened her life?"

"Bit melodramatic today, are we?" But James didn't miss the dark glower in his best friend's eyes. They had been coming up with ways to protect Lily's home ever since he had received her letter, but had yet to come up with more than a few charms that they were sure Lily would have thought of already.

"Sirius, I just— She's..."

"Yeah," Sirius said, grimacing again. "I know, mate."

Then the door opened again and this time, a lone redhead pushed through the door. She squinted around at the post-holiday crowds, and James took the opportunity to really stare. Her eyes looked tired, but that wasn't necessarily new or different. She was always tired. But a new crease had appeared around her mouth, and there was a sadness lurking in every feature. Then her eyes landed on his face, and they lit up in a way that was at once indescribable and foreign and as familiar and comfortable as his favorite armchair in the Gryffindor common room.

She rushed toward him, arms outstretched, and he caught her, clutching her to his chest. Her perfume tickled his nose, and the top of her head fit just so under his chin. It was a transformative moment for James, and one he didn't think he could ever forget. It was the moment that Lily Evans broke through the final barrier and took up residence inside his heart. She sat down and made herself comfortable. She hung pictures and lit a fire. She belonged there.

As for Lily, the feeling of James' arms wrapped securely around her was an awakening. She smiled into his scarf, inhaling deeply.

"James," she murmured. "Happy Christmas."

Sirius gave an affected little cough, and she pulled away, blushing.

"Is Marlene here yet?" she asked, clearly embarrassed.

James rolled his eyes at his friend. "Not yet, but she can't make it until later. Something came up, I guess. We were planning on grabbing a butterbeer and some chips before heading out into Diagon Alley."

"That sounds fantastic," Lily said, flashing him a grateful smile. "I'm famished."

"I'll just go put our order in, shall I?" Sirius winked at Lily and grinned at James before disappearing into the crowd near the bar.

James sighed heavily and shook his head. "Ignore him. Seriously."

"I find it hard to believe that anyone can ignore him for too long."

"Fair enough," James said with a laugh. "But enough about my prat of a best mate. Tell me what happened with Snivelous."

She flinched at the familiar nickname, but otherwise let it pass without comment. Slowly, she told him about the events of the previous day, trying not to leave anything out. By the time she finished, Sirius had returned with three butterbeers.

"He's right obsessed with you, inni?"

"I don't know." Lily gathered her hair in her hands and twisted it anxiously. "Sometimes it doesn't feel like it's about me at all."

"I don't see him breaking into anyone else's house," James said.

She twisted her hair more frantically. "I've been thinking about that."

"Five words that never lead to anything good," Sirius said.

"Thanks so much." Lily rolled her eyes. "I just meant that there are a lot of Muggleborn witches and wizards, and they're just as likely to be targeted in all this pureblood mania. What about them?"

"We haven't even solved your problem, yet, now you want us taking on a whole country of Muggle families? You think big, Evans." James smiled, but his light tone was strained.

"Not _us_ necessarily, but don't you think someone ought to? Hundreds of people, James."

They stared at each other for a long moment, and something seemed to pass between them. Then Sirius cleared his throat, and James jumped guiltily.

"One large order of chips?" Tom the barman dropped a battered basket full to overflowing with greasy chips on the table.

"I'm only saying." She stuffed a handful of chips into her mouth and washed it down with a swig of butterbeer.

"Honestly, Evans, your table manners are appalling. Some etiquette classes would not go amiss." Sirius watched her in disbelief.

She picked up another handful of chips and deliberately stuffed them into her mouth one at a time, chewing loudly. His lip curled in disgust, but his eyes sparkled with laughter.

"As I was saying," she continued, swallowing her food, "we may be able to do something about my family, but there are so many others. I think we need to put some serious thought into this."

"We will," James said firmly. "But right now let's focus on you."

"Only right now?" Sirius said quietly.

"Shut up, Sirius."

:o:o:o:o:o:o:

"Something is different about you." Marlene licked ice cream off her spoon and gave Lily a penetrating stare. "What is it?"

"Nothing's different, Mar, stop picking at me." Lily stared resolutely out the window, determined to not let her eyes stray down the street toward Quality Quidditch Supplies, where James and Sirius had gone to check out the new line of Clean Sweeps.

"Sirius told me about what happened with Snape. Were you scared? What did you do?"

"It all happened so fast, I don't think I really thought about being scared until he was gone. I was worried about my mum, and trying to figure out what I would do if he attacked us. I wasn't thinking about anything past what was going to happen in the next five minutes."

"Sirius said he cursed your mum. Is she okay?"

"It wasn't that bad actually." When Marlene gave her a disbelieving stare, she shook her head vigorously. "No, really. He confunded her and cast a really minor memory charm. I had the whole thing reversed in pretty short order."

"Well, thank Merlin for badly executed magic."

"That's just it, Mar," Lily said thoughtfully. "I think it was actually really well executed magic. It was like he did the least intrusive thing he could manage while still getting what he wanted. And he made it so easy to fix. He didn't have to do that. He's certainly capable of much worse."

"Don't sound so impressed. He attacked your mum and periodically threatens your life, remember?"

"I'm not impressed," she protested. "Just a little, I don't know, grateful? Odd as that sounds."

"Grateful." Marlene blinked, then shook her head. "You have a very weird way of looking at the world, Lily."

"Don't I know it," James said, coming in from the street and swiping Lily's cup of chocolate swirl out of her hand. Before she could do much more than grunt in protest, he had thrust an overflowing spoonful into his mouth.

"You disgusting little berk! Give that back." But Lily couldn't hide her smile, and James took his time licking the spoon clean before he handed it over.

"Share and share alike, I always say," Sirius put in, leaning over Marlene's shoulder and biting off the top of her ice cream cone. He shivered, and smacked his lips. "Ooh, 's cold."

Marlene yanked the cone away, smearing a wide streak of chocolate on Sirius' face. A scuffle ensued, and Lily rolled her eyes, turning back to James.

"Did you buy a new broom?"

"Nah, I like mine just fine. I did pick up a new pair of gloves, though. My pointer finger's wiggling through the tip of my old pair." He wiggled his left hand at her face, and she laughed.

"We can't have that! Not when you've got the Cup to win us."

"Since when are you so keen on winning the Cup?"

Lily sniffed, not quite able to quell her smile. "I'm a Gryffindor, aren't I? I'm just as proud of our team as the next person!"

"If you say so." James chuckled. "Does that mean you'll cover for me when we go into our end of the season practice spree?"

"How is that any different from your beginning of the season practice spree?"

"Evans, Evans, Evans." James shook his head sadly. "It's like you've been ignoring me for the last six years."

"It isn't _like _that, Potter," she said drily. "I have actually been ignoring you."

"Or at least giving it her all," Marlene put in. Lily rolled her eyes.

"I suppose I could help you out," she said, ignoring her friend. "You covered for me last term when I got swamped with homework."

"Not to mention all those late night study sessions trying to knock some shockingly rudimentary level Transfiguration into your thick skull." James smiled and leaned closer, and it occurred to Lily that he was flirting...and she rather liked it. She grinned and quirked an eyebrow.

"Now, now, Potter, let's call those study sessions what they really were."

"And what would that be?"

"You shamelessly exploiting my knowledge of Charms and my general braininess so that you wouldn't fail out of half your classes."

"Your braininess? That's a laugh." James let his eyes rove over her face, lingering on her lips. "Why don't you just admit that you've been copying off my papers for years? It's beginning to get embarrassing."

"I agree." Lily's voice had gone breathy, and she was so busy staring up into James' hazel eyes that she didn't notice Marlene and Sirius quietly retreating to the other side of the ice cream shop. "It's embarrassing that you never mastered first year Potions principles, too, but we don't have to get into all of that."

A family of four loudly entered the shop, and Lily and James pulled away from each other abruptly at the sound of it. Sirius cursed under his breath.

"Almost got the better end of my bet with Wormy. I've given him excellent odds on any time before your party."

Marlene laughed lightly and shook her head. "He's such a mooncalf sometimes. Why do you love taking his money so much? You've got a whole bank vault and he barely gets pocket money when he scrapes good marks."

"When you put it that way it makes me sound cruel." Sirius frowned. "I'm just doing my best to teach my friend Peter about that old Muggle adage. You know, a fool and his gold are soon parted?"

"Now I've heard everything," Lily said, throwing an arm around Marlene's shoulders. "Sirius Black quoting Muggle proverbs? I must be dreaming."

"You and Prongs aren't the only seventh years pulling good marks," he sniffed. "I'll have you know I'm quite brainy when I have a mind to be."

"For example," interrupted Marlene, "he's absolutely brilliant at finding ways to smuggle firewhiskey past parents and professors."

"Speaking of firewhiskey...you're coming to the party, aren't you, Lily?" James turned to her with big, pleading eyes.

"I cleared a slumber party with Marlene for New Year's Eve if that's what you mean." Lily grinned triumphantly and Sirius burst out laughing.

"You know what, Evans? I may have written you off too quickly. You appear to have some faint, untapped potential for mischief."

She grinned playfully. "Careful, Sirius. That sounded a little too much like a compliment."

"Lily? Marlene! Over here!"

Alice and Frank emerged from Flourish and Blott's with their arms full of bags, Frank valiantly struggling under the greater weight. He took Alice's one, small bag and she shot off like a rocket, jumping into the arms of her two roommates with a delighted giggle.

"I didn't expect to see you girls before the party!" She suddenly seemed to notice James and Sirius, standing just behind the girls and nodding hello to Frank. Her voice dropped. "I'm not interrupting something, am I?"

"Course not," Lily said immediately. "We just finished our ice cream and we were about to go for a stroll. Join us?"

"Alice," Frank whispered, his eyes fixed on a point just behind Lily's right shoulder. "Tea?"

"Drat," she sighed. "Can't. Sorry, its just that Frank's mum wants to meet me and..." She lifted her shoulders in a helpless sort of shrug.

"Meeting the parents already, Alice?" Marlene's tone was shocked but she smiled knowingly. Then she cleared her throat.

"Actually, that reminds me. Weren't we going to do that...you know, that thing?" She gave Sirius a meaningful look and lifted her eyebrows.

"What thing?" Sirius stared at her.

"You know...at the place. With the thing."

"Wha—oh! Oh. _That_ thing. Yes. Sorry, chaps, we're...uh, we're late, aren't we, Marlene?"

"'Fraid so." She kissed Lily on the cheek and squeezed Alice in a brief embrace. "See you all at my party!"

Then Sirius took her hand and they jogged off in the direction of the Leaky Cauldron. Alice and Frank followed shortly afterward with apologetic goodbyes.

"And then there were two," Lily said, bemused. She looked back at James, who had the oddest expression on his face—a mixture of irritation, delight, and hope.

"Well, I don't want to go home just yet, do you?" He smiled at her, and she stopped wondering where Marlene had rushed off to in such a hurry.

"No. I don't."

"Brilliant."

:o:o:o:o:o:o:

She lost track of time, quite literally. One minute they were strolling down the street, window shopping and chatting about their holiday, and the next he was suggesting a quick drink at the pub. One drink turned into three, and the next thing she knew...

"When did the sun set?" Startled, she glanced up at the clock that hung behind the bar at the Leaky Cauldron. "Bugger! Mum's going to kill me. I said I'd be home hours ago."

James, who had been telling a funny story about a garden gnome attacking Peter the previous summer, sighed and smiled wistfully. "I was hoping you weren't going to notice."

"You are far too distracting," she said, standing up and dropping a couple of sickles on the table.

"That's what you should tell your mum. You were simply unable to pull yourself away from my charming stories and quick wit." James picked up the sickles and put them back in her hand. "Your money's no good here, Evans. Put those away."

"It was a couple of butterbeers, James, it won't break the bank."

"Now I know you're trying to get me in trouble with _my_ mum. She'd murder me in my bed if she knew I made a lady pay for her drink."

"Doesn't that kind of logic only extend to dates?"

The words were out of her mouth before she had fully thought them through, and she wished she could take them back immediately. James didn't miss a beat.

"Any outing with a young lady is an opportunity to demonstrate gentility."

Lily stared at him, open-mouthed, and then a very unladylike snort escaped her. "I think I'd like to meet your mother, Potter. She sounds like a real scream."

"You have no idea."

:o:o:o:o:o:o:

"It's just that you're home for so little." Mrs. Evans sighed, watching as her youngest daughter packed an overnight bag. "And once you're done with school who knows where you'll be off to."

"Who knows, indeed?" Lily retorted sarcastically. "Not me. Maybe I'll just come home and live here. Tuny will be married and gone, you'll have loads of extra space."

"Now, Lily, no need to get snippy. You're Head Girl, your professors love you. You're going to figure it out."

Lily sat down with a grunt on her bed, bouncing a little as her mother sat down next to her. "Why haven't I already figured it out, though?"

Her mother smiled fondly and patted her knee. "Because sometimes the really important things take us longer to understand. We have to take the time to really think about them before we know what the right path is."

James' smile as he paid for her drinks flashed into her mind.

"But _why_? Why can't we just know? Everything is always so complicated. How do you know when you're making the right choice and when you're just making the choice you wish could be the right one?"

Mrs. Evans laughed quietly and kissed her daughter's forehead before standing and walking toward the door. "Sweetheart, if it wasn't so hard, it wouldn't be nearly as wonderful when it all worked out."

She walked out into the hallway, paused, and turned back. "He's a nice young man, Lily. I know you've had your differences, and you haven't always liked him. But I remember what it was like to be young and in love, and I know what I saw when you looked at each other. Give him a chance. Marlene's parents will be home?"

"Yes. And I'll be home by noon tomorrow. We can spend every minute together until I get back on the Hogwarts Express sitting around and eating biscuits and gossiping about boys."

"Marvelous. Don't drink too much. And keep your knees together after the boys get there."

"Mum!"

"I'm not completely square you know. I was seventeen once, too."

"But—"

"Have a good time. I love you."

Lily gave up with a little laugh. "Love you, too, Mum."

Five minutes later, she kissed her dad goodbye, took a deep breath, and apparated into Marlene's living room. A cheer went up as she popped into sight, and she laughed as she was pulled three different directions at once. As Alice poured her a drink and James leaned in to tell her the latest gossip on Peter and some Hufflepuff girl, she smiled contentedly. She was at home here, with these people, and the rest was sure to sort itself out. It had to.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Finally...the big New Year's Eve party! You've waited so patiently. Thanks for sticking with me! **


	17. Chapter 17

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter and all the rest. I have a couple of cats and my laptop.**

* * *

><p>"Drink!" crowed Alice, tilting backward into Frank's chest and pointing at Marlene.<p>

"You cheated! I don't know how, but you did!" Marlene's face was flushed from alcohol, and she teetered into the middle of the circle to grab at a half filled cup of butterbeer. Alice had just bounced a bronze knut off the table and into the cup.

The party started shortly before Lily's arrival with loud music and dancing, but by eleven, all ten seventh year Gryffindors were dressed in pajamas and huddled near the fireplace in Marlene's parlor, laughing and playing drinking games. Music still blared from the wireless on the mantle, but the sleepy teens ignored it for the most part.

"Just because you have shoddy aim doesn't mean I cheated." Alice stood up and did a little dance, wiggling her bum as she turned in a circle on the spot. Frank, whose head was roughly level with said bum, stared openly, dazed by her movements.

Lily lifted her wand and shot a blast of cold air at his neck, but missed and hit Alice's nightdress instead. Her skirt flared out and she shrieked.

"Are we stripping now?" Sirius sat up straight and looked around with interest. "I didn't know there would be stripping."

"Gerroff!" Marlene laughed as he pawed at her shirt, pulling it away from her neck. She batted him away half-heartedly. "Perv."

"And proud of it." He grinned wolfishly and kissed her just under her left ear, admiring the red tinge that spread over her neck after he did so.

"Shocking behavior all," James slurred. He looked around the room and his eyes fell on Remus and Dorcas, who were sitting a few steps away from the group and sipping their drinks. "Well, except for Moony and Dori over there."

Remus glanced up at his friend and grinned. "Someone has to stay sober enough to make sure no one burns the house down."

"Sober-ish," Dorcas added with a laugh.

"Moony and Dori sitting in a tree," sang Peter, earning himself a lip-binding hex from Remus. He fell back onto a couch cushion and continued to hum wordlessly, apparently unphased.

"I think it's my turn," Frank said, pulling everyone's attention back to the game. "Care to give me a tip, Alice? You seem to be the only one who's managed to get anything in the cup."

Alice tipped a bottle of butterbeer into the cup until it was half full and then sat back down. "It's all in the wrist. Really, this is the sort of thing James should be grand at, with all his Chaser skills."

"A knut and a Quaffle are not the same thing," James grumbled.

"Well spotted." Sirius laughed and poked Marlene in the side, whispering loudly. "Hey, Marly, did you hear? Quaffles are no longer being accepted as legal currency."

She giggled and shoved him sideways. "I think you actually get nerdier as you get drunker. Is that possible?"

"Definitely," Remus answered. "Padfoot only pretends to be dashing and cool. If he didn't care so much about looking cool, he could be top of the class."

"You take that back," Sirius demanded in mock outrage. "Looking cool! I don't have to care about looking cool, I am cool!"

"'Course you are," Marlene said, stroking his hair soothingly. "All the cool kids make currency jokes when they get knackered."

" 's right," he muttered. He was about to lean back into Marlene when he sat straight up and looked around. "Hang on. Wasn't someone stripping?"

The shower of knuts that followed this statement barely missed the cup of butterbeer in the middle of the circle, although most of them found their target.

"You know, this is why the other houses don't think we have a sense of humor in Gryffindor," he complained, rubbing a sore spot on his forehead where an expertly thrown knut had beaned him. "Our birds take every little thing so seriously."

"Don't worry," Mary said drily, "you more than make up for us with your antics. I'm reasonably sure that the whole school knows what you and your mates find funny."

"You say that like you don't think our pranks are amusing, MacDonald." James frowned sternly, but his eyes glinted with amusement. "Tell me, what is it about self-propelling food fights that you don't find funny?"

"Treacle tart is abominably difficult to wash out of my hair, for one thing," Mary laughed. "And there was the time you managed to color change the whole house's hair scarlet and gold right before the Slytherin-Gryffindor match. My complexion was not made for scarlet!"

"Ah, fifth year," Remus sighed. "That was a good one."

"I'd always wondered what Evans would look like as a blonde, you see," James added, ducking as Lily aimed a sharp whack in his direction.

"I think we've lost Peter," Mary said suddenly, looking over to where he had fallen back. After humming to himself for a few minutes, Peter had given in to his drink-induced drowsiness and fallen asleep on the soft cushions. Once the room fell silent, they could hear soft snores whistling through his nose.

"I say, Remus, you finally figured out how to stop Wormy's snores!" Sirius laughed. "You girls wouldn't believe it, but Peter's snores literally shake the foundations of our tower every night. It's a race to see who can fall asleep first, because if you don't beat Peter to the punch, you'll be up the rest of the night."

"What do you know," James said thoughtfully. "You'd have thought we'd have come up with the lip-locker before now. We use it frequently enough."

"Should we move him to one of the bedrooms?" Mary asked.

"Mary, Mary, Mary, if you've just been waiting to have your wicked way with him, you should have said something sooner. We could have slipped something into his drink!" Sirius teased.

She flushed and looked around for a spare knut, but they had all been thrown at him already. She settled on a pillow, which he lunged forward and caught, falling over the cup of butterbeer in the process and spilling it all over the rug.

"Oh, bugger!" Marlene moaned. "Get up, you horrible boy, I have to get that cleaned up before it stains something."

The group scattered, and Dorcas and Marlene took turns using their limited knowledge of cleaning charms on the rug to no success.

"This is shite," Dorcas grumbled. "Lily, can't you—?"

"Oh, step aside," Lily laughed. "You're doing it all wrong. _Scourgify_."

With a single flick of her wand, the mess was gone and the rug was once again spotless.

Sirius sniffed the air appreciatively. "Smells like flowers in here. Evans, you really do have a knack for that. It's nice to know that Prongs will be in good hands after Hogwarts. Do you cook, too?"

James flinched and closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable curse that would somehow be directed at him, even though Sirius had been the one to make the joke. Instead, all he heard was a disgruntled snort. He opened his eyes and saw Lily making her way towards the bedroom where she and the other girls had put their overnight things.

Without giving it too much thought, he followed her. Later, he would find it impossible to remember where he found the courage to trail after her into the dark. It could have been the drinking, it could have been her smile as they danced to the wireless earlier that night, or it could have simply been that she didn't curse him when someone suggested they would end up living together in domesticated bliss some day. Whatever the reason, moments later he found himself standing behind her, quite alone, in a dark bedroom.

She turned to close the door and jumped, shrieking with surprise. "Merlin, Potter, you're as quiet as a mouse! What do you want?"

He knew what she meant, but in the context of everything that had been going on between them, the question seemed utterly absurd. He couldn't help it—he started to laugh. It was quiet at first, but soon he was giggling helplessly, a high, girly laugh that usually indicated he had completely lost all control. She stared at him, nonplussed.

"Are you all right? What's wrong with you?"

With great effort, he calmed himself down, taking deep breaths as he slowly regained self control. At last, he wiped a tear from his eye and took a step closer to her.

"What do I want?"

Her eyes got wider, but she didn't move back like he expected she would. His heart started to pound, and he lifted a hand and tucked an errant red strand back behind her ear. He'd been wanting to do that for years, and it was more wonderful than he could have imagined. Once it was over, though, he wasn't quite done with touching her, so he cupped her cheek with his hand. It was soft and warm and perfect.

She blinked and licked her lips.

"What do I want," he repeated.

"That's what I asked, yes. What is it that you want?"

She inched closer to him as she said it, and then they were standing chest-to-chest, centimeters between their bodies. She leaned her face into his hand, certain that he could feel the way her heart was galloping in her chest. He just stared down at her, unabashed awe in his eyes as he took in everything from her messy curls to the old pajamas she had hijacked from her father's closet shortly before fourth year. They were a little too big, but they still managed to hug her in just the right places.

He ducked his chin and leaned closer. "I want..."

Her eyes fluttered closed and she tilted forward onto her tiptoes, feeling the warmth of his breath on her face.

And then, the feather light touch of his lips, not on hers, but on her eyelids, of all places. He kissed a trail from her right eye to her left, then down her left cheek, steadying her all the while with his hand on her right. Each touch was electrifying, and every time his lips came back for more, she felt her heart go faster. Finally, when he was about to reach her mouth, Lily steeled herself for the moment she had been hoping for for months.

But it didn't come. He stopped, pulling up and just far enough away to let her clear her head.

"I think you know what I want, Lily," he whispered. "What is it that you want?"

Without opening her eyes, without thinking about it, and certainly without weighing the consequences, she threw her arms around his neck, pulled him back down, and launched herself at him, pressing her lips against his warm mouth with abandon.

He responded immediately, sliding his hand back into her hair and gripping it so tightly that her scalp started to tingle. In response, she tugged at his shoulders, raising herself up on her toes so that she could get closer. A small, mad little voice cackled in the back of her mind, wondering aloud just how scandalized her twelve-year-old self would be at this development.

After several breathless minutes, Lily pulled away, panting and grinning. She opened her eyes for the first time and marveled at the mussed, red-faced boy in front of her. He was blinking in the dim light, dazed, mouth hanging open and glasses askew. Then his eyes cleared and he looked down at her, leveling an intense stare that made her stomach bubble with anticipation.

Carefully, gently, ever-so-slowly, he lifted his hand one more time to smooth her hair away from her face. She kept her eyes open this time, taking in the way his pupils grew in the darkness. He traced a forefinger down the side of her jaw, raising goose bumps as he went.

"Lily, I—"

He stopped as she raised her own hand and grabbed his, bringing it to her mouth for a slow, warm kiss.

"Shut up, Potter. Just for a second, okay? Just ... shut up."

One eyebrow arched up and he grinned cockily, tugging her toward him by the hand she still held. "Keep talking to me like that and you won't get any more kisses."

"What makes you think I want any more of your ruddy kisses?" She grinned confidently, but when she felt his other hand trailing up her back, she couldn't contain her shivers. In response, he ducked down to whisper in her ear. The feeling of his breath on her skin was delicious and sexy and it was all she could do not to throw her arms around him again just to keep him there.

"You're a lousy liar, you know that?"

"I'm not lying I'm—"

He pressed his lips to her neck and sucked, tracing tiny patterns in her skin with his tongue. An incomprehensible moan escaped her lips, and he laughed softly.

"Joking, only joking," she finished weakly.

As he straightened up, she couldn't resist running her fingers through his hair, mussing it further and making it stick straight up in all directions.

"Stop that!" He batted her hands away with a laugh. "My hair doesn't need more help in misbehaving."

Then it was Lily's turn to laugh helplessly, and even when he pulled her back into his arms and hugged her close, she couldn't stop her giggles.

"Did that just happen?" she marveled, catching her breath. "Did I just snog James Potter?"

"Give me some of the credit, please." He attempted to pull a serious face but failed completely, happiness radiating off of him in waves. "I believe I did participate in said snogging. In fact, I would argue that I snogged _you_, but we don't have to get into semantics just yet."

"Always the glory hog," she muttered.

"It was rather glorious, wasn't it?" He chuckled quietly, laughing out loud when she hit his shoulder in annoyance. "You have no idea who you're dealing with, Evans. You've created a monster."

Lily was acutely aware of his arms around her and the heat of his body pressed against her. She sighed deeply, trying to slow the beating of her heart.

"Now what?" she whispered. In front of her, James tensed.

"Now...you finally agree to go out with me for starters," he said after a moment. "I think that's only fair."

"For starters?" she laughed again. "That makes it sound like you have a list of demands."

"Oh, I do." His voice deepened and her entire body began to tingle in anticipation. "I have a whole host of demands. But we'll start with a date. And maybe you could come round my place tomorrow and have some tea with my mum?"

She jumped and looked up at him, eyes wide. "Excuse me? Tea with your mum? Before we've had a first date?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Strictly Head stuff. She was giving me a hard time about not having met you when I spend so much time with you. And my mum is really hard to say no to, so if you could just humor me this once..."

"I dunno, James. I mean we're not even really dating. Isn't that...odd?"

"We don't have to tell her anything, I promise! Although I can't guarantee she won't notice there's something going on. She's scary perceptive. I think Dad taught her Leglimency or something. Either that or she's secretly an expert at Divination. Nothing else makes sense."

Lily laughed but didn't answer, burning some time by looking around the darkened room.

"Lily, come on. Please?"

"Oi! What are you two doing in he—" Sirius came around the corner quickly, obviously not expecting what he found. Lily tried to pull away, but James kept an iron grip on her waist.

"Oh." He stopped dead, processing the sight in front of him for a minute. "Uh. Well, then."

"D'ya need something, Sirius? Because we're kind of in the middle of something here." James grinned at his friend, who looked like someone had just hit him with a _Confundus_ curse.

"Right. Um. Carry on?"

Sirius backed slowly out of the room, hands raised, palms out, stupefied stare still in place.

Lily glanced up at James, who was watching the door with his smile still in place. "How long do you think we have before he blabs what he just saw?"

James shrugged. "He's cool. He won't even tell Marlene til I give him the okay."

"Really? That's...incredibly cool. I don't know that I could make the same guarantee for Marlene."

"Then we best get back out there before they start to talk."

She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair again, lightly tugging on the ends until he ducked down for another kiss. He groaned quietly, smiling against her mouth.

"You're making it really hard to leave this room, Evans."

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean." She let go with a little shove, grinning brilliantly. Then she strutted past him with a little shimmy, shaking her hair back and blowing a kiss over her shoulder as she left the room.

:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:

They ended up sleeping in a pile on the floor of the parlor, a tangle of arms and legs that managed to be simultaneously cramped and uncomfortable and supremely comfortable. Lily slept sandwiched between James and Dorcas, with Mary lying across her feet. She woke up warm and happy, and the first thing she saw was James' face, slack with sleep. She reached up and touched his chin, marveling at the coarse stubble scattered unevenly across his face.

His eyelids fluttered at the contact, and he yawned.

"Good morning," she whispered.

"Mmph." He opened one eye and examined her blearily. "Mm, still dreaming."

She inched closer, nuzzling his cheek lightly with her nose. He opened both eyes this time and groped around for his glasses. Once he had them securely on his face, a sleepy smile lit up his face.

"You're beautiful," he whispered. Lily rolled her eyes but kissed him anyway, quickly pulling away and looking around the room. No one else was awake, but a ray of bright sunlight cut through a crack in the heavy drapery.

She sat up straight. "What time is it?"

"Ugh, Evans, you're actually louder in the morning. I didn't think that was possible." Sirius buried his head under a pillow.

"What does it matter what time it is?" Marlene mumbled.

Lily shoved her over and struggled to sit up. "Because I have to be home by noon."

Mary sat up next, holding a wristwatch. "I hate to tell you this, but you're a bit late."

She cursed and jumped to her feet. "How late?"

"It's 12:30."

James stood up, rumpling his hair and yawning. "All right, keep your pants on, Lily. I'll get you home."

"She can't get herself home?" Remus asked quietly, stifling his own yawn.

"Well, she _could_ but that would be ungentlemanly, don't you think?" James picked his way through the mass of his sleepy classmates. "Come on, Evans. You're late."

"Git," she muttered, but her smile betrayed her.

He beat her to the bedroom and had her bag ready for her when she got there.

"I could get used to this."

He leaned over and brushed a quick kiss on her lips, pulling her into his arms. "You better. Ready to go?"

"I'm wearing pajamas, you big bully. Turn around so I can throw on some clothes. You could do the same, you know."

"What if I don't want to turn around?" But he turned obediently, rooting around for his jeans and t-shirt. He did his best to ignore the rustling sounds. There was a good chance he'd be seeing her parents when they arrived at her house, and he didn't want to be thinking about Lily in her underwear when he did. Finally, she cleared her throat.

"I'm ready."

He turned slowly, taking in every inch of her. She was wearing the same dress she had arrived in the night before, and her hair was a mess, but she smiled sweetly. "You really are the most beautiful girl, you know that?"

She laughed and looped her arms around his neck. "You're ridiculous."

"I'm going to ignore that comment and concentrate on the memory of you kissing me like I was the last bloke on earth. Is side along okay? I don't feel like letting go."

She laughed, but before she could answer he was turning on the spot, pulling her into the strange non-space that accompanied Apparition. They landed on Lily's doorstep. She wobbled a little, but he caught her before she tipped too far.

"Nice aim, Potter."

"Why, thank you."

Still laughing, she opened the door and grabbed his hand. "We'll just tell my mum I'm going to have tea with your parents, and then—"

She stopped dead in her tracks. Petunia was sitting in the middle of the couch in the front parlor, also wearing a party dress. Her hair had fallen out of some kind of elegant updo, and there were tear tracks down her cheeks. Her blue eyes were red and swollen.

"Tuney?" Lily clutched James' hand tighter, and a sickening wave of nausea swept over her.

Her sister looked at her, then looked at the clock that sat above the mantle. "You're late."

"Tuney, what's going on?"

"Couldn't get you on the phone. Your freaks don't have phones, did you know that?"

Lily towed James forward, feeling her stomach sink with every step.

"Where's Mum? Where's Dad? Tuney, what the hell is going on? Tell me!"

"Mum's... Dad's at hospital. He's going to be okay."

"Tuney. Where's Mum?" Desperation had started leaking into her tone, and James could see that panic was not far off.

"There was an accident coming home from the party they were at last night," Petunia said dully. "Dad's going to be okay. Mum's dead."

Lily fell to her knees, and for the first time since apparating, she let go of James' hand. Her arms circled her body protectively and she started to rock. "No, that's not true. You're wrong."

Those words seemed to ignite something in Petunia. She looked straight at her sister with hatred blazing in her eyes. "I was there, all right? I talked to the doctor. I only came home because Dad sent me to...to talk to you. Because no one could get a hold of you!"

She stood up, radiating fury now. "You're never available. What was I supposed to do, _owl_ you?"

Tears flowed down Lil's cheeks. "I think I'm going to throw up."

Petunia growled and pushed past her, grabbing her coat off the peg near the front door. "I'm leaving. I can't sit here."

She slammed the door behind her, and James stood for one second, torn between comforting Lily and following her horrible sister. The former won out.

"Stay here," he said quietly, stalking out the front door.

Petunia was half a block away, striding quickly with her arms around her stomach in a way that sharply reminded him of Lily.

"Petunia!" he shouted. She stopped in her tracks, but didn't turn around. He jogged to catch up until he was just behind her.

"At least tell me what hospital."

She turned around, and all the fury and hate was gone. In its place was sad resignation.

"St. Luke's downtown. Can I go now?"

He nodded, and she turned and walked away, slower this time, still clutching her middle. He watched her for a moment, then turned and made his way back to the house, where a sobbing Lily lay on the floor, her cheek pressed against the cold parquet.

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><p><strong>AN: **hides****


	18. Chapter 18

**J.K. Rowling owns the whole HP universe. I don't own anything, really.**

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><p>The days that followed were the hardest of Lily's young life, but she knew that as bad as things were, they would have been infinitely worse without the Potters by her side. After Petunia left, she fell to pieces. Left to her own devices, she thought it unlikely that she would have eaten, slept, or moved from the floor until her father returned from the hospital.<p>

Instead, James guided her up into a sitting position and patiently sat with her until her tears stopped. He sent a _patronus_ message to his mother, a feat that in a better state of mind would have greatly impressed Lily. Within minutes, there was a gentle rapping on the door. James answered the door, letting Mrs. Potter in with a grateful smile.

"Sorry, Mum, I didn't know who else to call."

"Don't be silly," she said quickly. "I'm glad you called me. Your father is at work wrapping up a project, or I know he would have come as well."

She knelt down next to Lily, who was staring at the cold fireplace with a vacant look in her eyes.

"Lily? I'm Dorea Potter."

Lily's didn't answer, and Mrs. Potter looked up at her son with a worried frown. "Has she spoken at all since it happened?"

"No. Her sister just left her, Mum. Walked out. I had to chase her down to even find out where their parents are."

She sighed. "First things first. Go put the kettle on, and then see if you can find some comfortable clothes for Lily."

James stared blankly for a moment, and his mother looked up at him with raised eyebrows. "Well? Hop to it!"

He scurried off in the direction of the kitchen, wondering when the world had gone so completely mad.

Mrs. Potter lowered herself to the floor slowly, groaning a little as she hit the floor. "Lily, dear, I know this is difficult, but I need you to listen to me now."

Lily drew in a deep shuddering breath and blinked out a few stray tears.

"There's a good girl," Mrs. Potter murmured. She reached up and stroked back Lily's messy curls, brushing the hair away from her eyes. "James is going to bring you something hot to drink, and then we'll get you into something more comfortable than that party dress. Can you look at me for a moment, dear?"

With great effort, Lily tore her eyes away from the fireplace and got her first close look at Mrs. Dorea Potter. She was a petite witch with thick, iron gray curls piled carefully on top of her head. Her eyes were a dark chocolate brown, and the lines around her mouth and eyes belied many years of laughter and tears.

She brought her wand out and tapped it once against Lily's temple, watching carefully as a series of colored sparks emitted from the tip.

"Thank you," she said with a smile. "You're doing fine. Deep breaths, please, I just need to check a few things."

Lily watched with distant curiosity as Mrs. Potter conducted what looked like a series of tests, checked her pulse, and generally evaluated her.

James interrupted by bringing in a steaming mug of tea. The smell alone pulled Lily's spirits up enough to speak.

"What are you doing?" she asked Mrs. Potter.

"Just giving you a check-up," the older woman said briskly, accepting the mug from her son with a smile. "Thirty years as a Healer can be hard to let go of in a crisis. Drink this."

Lily inhaled the steam with a grateful hum. "You really don't have to do this," she said weakly. "I'm just fine on my own."

"Nonsense." A steely look came over Mrs. Potter, and she stood. "Never let it be said that the Potter family stands by while friends are in trouble. I'm afraid you don't have much of a say in the matter. James, I've thought better of my earlier request. I'll go get something for Lily to wear. You wait here with her, and when I get back we'll head over to the hospital to find out what's going on."

James watched with great admiration as his mother took the stairs two at a time, a woman on a mission.

"Which room is it?" she called down from the top of the stairs. James prodded Lily's shoulder.

"Second door on the left," she whispered hoarsely.

"Second on the left, mum!" He turned back to her. "Where are your denims and jumpers?"

"School trunk."

"Look for the school trunk!"

"Yes, I've got it, Jamie! Hold your horses!"

At the nickname, Lily cracked a tiny smile. "Jamie?"

He leveled a severe look at her. "Don't you dare, Evans. Mum is the only woman on the planet who can get away with that horrible nickname, and that's only because she's been using it on me since birth."

A quiet giggle escaped her, but no sooner had the sound reached his ears, she was blinking back fresh tears. He knelt next to her immediately, and pulled her into his arms where she wept openly.

"I didn't even get to say goodbye. She can't be gone, James. She just can't be."

He clutched her tightly, rocking steadily and humming tunelessly as she cried. A lump formed in his throat, and he couldn't remember having felt so helpless in his life. Not even when Sirius had arrived on his doorstep in the middle of the night, bloodied from a fistfight with his brother and still limping off the hex their house elf had cast to try to keep him from escaping. At least then he was able to offer a warm bed and a fresh start. Nothing he could give would fix what Lily was going through.

A soft creak caught his attention, and he looked up to see his mother standing at the foot of the stairs, watching them closely. His cheeks grew hot, but he kept rocking, and his grip didn't slacken. She smiled at him and approached.

"All right, dearie, let's get you up and changed. Come with me."

Lily's face was slack and emotionless again as she pulled away from him, but James took comfort in the fact that she didn't let go of his shirt until she absolutely had to. Left alone in the front parlor, he wandered up to a display of family photographs. He examined the first one, charmed by the fact that no one was moving in it.

Lily's red hair seemed to be an anomaly, but her green eyes came directly from her mother. So did her smile. She had inherited a dimple on the left cheek from her father. He recalled the friendly smile and knowing look Mrs. Evans had given him on the platform. She was a beautiful woman, but more than that, it looked like the family revolved around her. A more recent candid photograph, taken at a park somewhere, caught the four of them in a moment of laughter. Mr. Evans held her hand, and the two girls were laughing and looking at her with love in their eyes. Judging from the length of Lily's hair, he guessed the photo was about two years old. He wondered who had taken the photo.

"Ready?" His mother led Lily back into the front room with her arm around the girl's shoulder. Lily looked smaller somehow, like she had shrunk in the last thirty minutes. "Jamie, you said the hospital was where, exactly?"

"St. Luke's in downtown."

"Right. We're going to go ahead side along, I'm planning on aiming for about a block away. There's a magical herb shop not far from there, _Hazel's Herbs and Remedies_. Please follow as closely as possible. We don't have time to waste."

She looked down at Lily, pale and red-eyed and stoic. "Hang on, sweetheart. This won't take long."

They disappeared, and James, after taking a deep breath, followed after.

:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:

The Muggle hospital was nothing like St. Mungo's. James had a little experience with that place, especially given his mother's former career as a Healer. But St. Mungo's was open and light, and even in the closed wards there wasn't this feeling of illness, of overwhelming hopelessness.

St. Luke's was a labyrinth of sterile white hallways, of Muggle Healers in white lab coats, and the entire place smelled like sickness and death. James wouldn't have known where to begin with checking in or speaking to the hospital staff, but his mother handled it all with a grace and serenity.

As Mrs. Potter navigated the bureaucracy of the hospital with an ease that baffled him, James stood next to Lily and clutched her hand as tightly as he could, and she held on with all her might. When someone finally led them back to the room where Mr. Evans was staying, he tried to let go of her so she could have a private moment with her father. Her reaction to the loosening of his hand was immediate and fierce.

"Don't you dare let go of me," she ordered, fire leaping up in her eyes for the first time that day.

"I just thought you'd want to see him alone," he said quietly, covering their joined hands with his free one. "I'm not letting go. I never could."

Her eyes filled with tears again, and before he understood what was happening, she pulled him down and kissed him quickly on the lips. The taste of her salty tears lingered long after she pulled away. Through that long, exhausting day, he never tried to let go again. The only time when he wasn't touching her was when she was in the bathroom, or the one time when his mother forced him to go get a cup of tea from the hospital cafeteria to stretch his legs.

Petunia handled the funeral arrangements at the request of Mr. Evans, which was just fine with Lily. The two sisters didn't acknowledge each other when they sat together with their father, only speaking when absolutely necessary. At the end of the day, Petunia's fiancé picked her up and Lily realized that she would have to go home alone. Her fears were soothed a moment later, however, when Mrs. Potter gave her a hug and kissed her cheek.

"Bitsy went and go your school trunk from your house earlier today. I hope you don't mind, Lily, dear, but I'm afraid I have to insist you come home with us. There's a spare room all made up, and a hot dinner ready and waiting for us when we arrive. I spoke with your father a few moments ago and he agrees."

Lily peered into the room where her father lay. The telly was blaring, but he wasn't watching it. As if he sensed she was watching, he looked up and met her eyes. He smiled faintly, then looked to James and nodded. The look they exchanged was one he would remember again and again for the rest of his life. Volumes were said in that one look, man to man. But at that moment, the one thing that James took from it was_ thank you_.

:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:

Mr. Evans was released from the hospital just in time for his wife's funeral, which was held at the church near their home. It was a quiet affair, which suited Lily just fine. She didn't feel like smiling and thanking people for coming, so the fact that the tiny chapel was barely half-full didn't bother her at all.

She barely made it through the eulogy before the tears started coming again. She had always thought of herself as someone who could get through anything, even something truly awful, with poise and grace, and most of all without tears. She was gratified when a few of her friends from Hogwarts appeared at the back of the church, dressed in somber Muggle clothing, even though it meant that they would also witness her falling apart.

It was difficult to say goodbye to her father so soon after burying her mother, but Lily didn't feel she had a choice. No matter how often James repeated that Dumbledore would surely understand if she wanted to come back a few days late, she couldn't fathom not being there for the start of her last term. And so on the fifth of January, she found herself boarding the train to school for the last time.

She had gotten so used to holding James' hand that when people stopped talking and stared openly on the train, she had no idea what they were staring at.

"What's your problem, Brown?" she demanded of a fourth year who had stopped in the middle of the train corridor to gape. "There's a line piling up behind you, in case you didn't notice."

The boy scurried away without a word, but soon faces were pressed against compartment doors, and whispers surrounded them as they made their way toward the compartment that Sirius and Marlene were saving for them.

"Do you think they heard about my mum?" Lily asked James as they entered their compartment. A worried frown creased her forehead. She didn't think she could stand being the center of morose gossip for the rest of the year.

"I don't know how they could have. It just happened, and it wasn't related to our world in any way."

He boosted her trunk up above the seat and then took care of his own. As soon as he was done, she reached out and grabbed his hand, nestling into his side on the bench.

"Erm, guys?" Marlene suppressed a smile and looked at Sirius, who wasn't bothering trying to hide his grin. He had witnessed the two of them become practically inseparable over the last few days of hols, and even though the circumstances weren't ideal, it was easy to see that what was happening was real. He still had a few reservations about the redhead, but after watching James chase her for so many years, it was somewhat satisfying to see them together.

"What?" Lily leaned into James and propped her foot up on the opposite bench.

"Anything you wanted to...you know...tell us?"

"What are you on about?" Lily snapped, but James laughed and lifted their joined hands. The change in her face was instant. Her scowl melted away and a soft smile replaced it, and her cheeks pinked up prettily. She was about to answer when Alice and Frank entered noisily, followed closely by Remus and Peter.

"I'm only saying that she could have been more polite," Alice said loudly, talking over Frank's attempts to interrupt. "I was her guest, Frank, and she spent the entire tea picking apart everything from my mother's decision to work outside the home to my choice in shoes!"

Her eyes fell on Lily and James then, and she laughed loudly. "So this is what all the gossip is about! I guessed at the funeral but..."

Lily's eyes darted to the floor and Alice slapped a hand over her mouth. "Oh, Lil, I'm so sorry."

She sat down next to Lily, forcing Frank to squeeze in between her body and the window. "Are you doing okay? I can't believe you're on the train, I thought for sure you'd want to stay at home for a few days."

"I told you," James muttered. "No one would blame you."

She let go of his hand to deliver a sharp shove to his shoulder. "I'd blame me. I'm doing fine, Alice, I promise. Honestly, I don't know that it's sunk in yet. But the Potters were so kind, and I'm just ready to try to go back to business as usual for a little while."

James smiled at her affectionately and draped an arm over her shoulders, pulling her back into his side.

There was a quiet moment in the compartment, and then Peter cleared his throat.

"Okay, I guess I'm just going to be the guy to say it. Are you two _together_ now, or did Prongs just finally brew the perfect love potion?"

Everyone laughed, and Lily tried to pull away, mortified, but James held on with all his might.

"No, no, it took me years to get you to voluntarily touch me, and I'm not letting you get away that easy. Also, for the record, I'm pretty sure that's why Bernard Brown couldn't stop staring at us in the corridor earlier. And why half the train station was whispering when we walked by."

Lily groaned.

"Cheer up, Head Girl." Sirius grinned evilly. "You can always dish out hexes or dock points for anyone who gets too interested in your love life. I know James has."

"Traitor," laughed James. "You weren't supposed to tell her that until..."

"Until when?" Remus interrupted. "Looks like you've got matters pretty well in hand."

"Literally," Peter put in.

"You were hexing people _this _year?" Lily asked incredulously.

"Define _hex_."

"James!"

"I mean, really, what's the difference between a hex and a jinx? It's all semantics."

"I can't believe you!"

"Evans," he started.

"Oh, now it's Evans again?"

"Yes," he said gravely. "You are Evans when you're being particularly aggravating."

"So you must just be Potter all the time then."

"Oh, Merlin, I've missed you two." Dorcas stood in the open compartment door, smiling fondly, with Mary right behind her.

"You just saw them yesterday," Marlene said, before realizing what she said. A hush fell over the compartment again. "Shite, Lily, I'm sorry."

"It's fine," she said quietly. "You don't have to walk on eggshells around me. I just need things to get back to normal, okay? Honestly."

"Normal, eh?" Sirius' eyes glittered with excitement. "Well, normal would entail you helping me settle a bet with Wormy and Moony here."

James groaned. "Come on, Padfoot, let me just enjoy this for a few days before you ruin it."

"Was it you who snogged our dear Prongs first," Sirius persisted, laughter in his voice, "or did he finally lose all semblance of control and tackle you in that back bedroom at Mar's place?"

Dorcas, Alice, Mary and Marlene gasped, but the boys, clearly having been informed of events earlier, merely looked at Lily expectantly.

"That depends," she said coyly, surprising them all, "on what you mean by _first_. Technically, James was the instigator..."

"Instigator my arse!" he exclaimed. "You clearly couldn't hold yourself back any more! This one practically tackled me to the ground, gents, don't believe a word she says."

"Judges rule...Evans started it!" Sirius announced. "Having arrived on the scene while the act was in progress, I think I can say that Prongs was getting the better end of that deal."

"Wait just a minute!" Lily sputtered.

"So that means Moony, you owe me one galleon, and Wormy, I'm afraid you owe me a round three galleons, five sickles."

Remus' eyebrows shot up and he looked over a Lily in shock. "Are you saying he lost _all_ those bets, Pads? Because that would mean..."

"That's quite enough," Lily said, unsure whether she wanted to laugh or hex the lot of them. "I hope this means you're done betting over us."

"Of course, Evans." Sirius grinned brilliantly, then leaned over to Peter and added in a loud whisper, clearly audible to everyone, "I'll give you five to one odds they're engaged by mid-summer."

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks for your patience while I slowwwwwly write this out. And to everyone who reviewed after my last post: THANK YOU. I'm sorry I didn't get back to you guys this time. I will try to be better!**


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